Sister in law is an utter b**ch

borkid

gettingtheresometime wrote: »

Your MIL & PIL may be 'youngsters' at the moment but no-one gets younger and there will come a time when they will either have medical issues or need help as a general result of them getting old. Would you be happy to relocate back to this country then ?

I am 63 and OH 64 both in good health. There is no way I would want either of my two children to plan their lives around ' what would happen when we are older'.

I hate the whole emotional blackmail thing. I have raised 2 independant adults who I want to live their lives as fully as they can not two future carers for myself and OH.

Maz

Seriously, what effect will her grumblings have on your joint decision? Noone I hope!

From what you say, it sounds like she's panicking about a) who will provide free childcare when she needs it and b) she may have to be more attentive to her in laws in the future as you won't be around.

FBaby

What it sounds like is that you are both dominating characters and therefore naturally clash. She is worried you are dominating her brother and you don't like her thinking she can impose her views on your husband.
He probably falls into the peace making category, hence telling both of you what you want to hear, which is why you are probably both getting misguided reports of what each says.

duchy

What does it matter what she thinks ?

You and your husband have made a decision that she has an opinion on - but as it is a decision that she has no influence over then what she thinks doesn't matter. She can moan and groan all she likes about it to her brother -It won't change the decision .

The fact she is asking when she can visit shows she has accepted the decision anyway and was merely blowing hot air at her sibling (probably cos she thinks she will have the responsibility of their parents when they are older).

You can expend time and energy seething -or you can spend that time and energy enjoying preparing for your move. The choice is yours

Andypandyboy

A sister in law is not a particularly close relative, she is entitled to her opinion of course, but why would it influence you in any way? You and your OH are a family unit and you make the decisions. She has had her say, ignore it and do your own thing.

Piggywiggy

Just carry on as you wish, then remember how she has behaved when she fancies a cheap holiday to Spain!

BarryBlue

coolcait wrote: »

It's got nothing to do with it being an HH issue :-) So, I'll park that bit of attempted misdirection.

On the contrary, thank you for confirming it.;)

sheramber

That would be the cat that you took in from your parents 5 years ago but also managed to have had him for 18 years.

You imply your family are in Spain but then the cat would have had to travel from Spain in that case, which seems unlikely from the rest of your post.

ecgirl07

sheramber wrote: »

That would be the cat that you took in from your parents 5 years ago but also managed to have had him for 18 years.

You imply your family are in Spain but then the cat would have had to travel from Spain in that case, which seems unlikely from the rest of your post.

Thought it read as the cat was a family pet living with the mum and dad in the UK and when the mum and dad moved back to Spain 5 years ago the op took the cat in?

DKLS

gettingtheresometime wrote: »

This may be a cultural thing, or the way your posts are coming across over the internet but to me you come across as being very confrontational.

Definitely cultural the OP is spanish, and no doubt comes with the latin temperament its not aggressive or confrontational its just latin which is full of passion and fire with a verve for life.

OP do what is right for you and your family, a sister you see a couple of times a year is no more important than the chap who runs the corner shop. Tell your man to be a man and tell her to wind her neck in, if that doesn't work unleash your inner una chica con car!cter on the sil