Battling Debt and Mental Illness — and (hopefully) Winning!

doingitanyway

You sound positive

AspiringButAnxious

I feel positive!

Part of me thinks I shouldn't be, considering the amount of debt I have, but as my counsellor points out, most of it's owed to my parents and I live with them, so I won't lose my home or starve to death. Focusing on my writing is the key to earning more in the long term — I know that intuitively, though it's hard to keep faith. The alternative is to risk my mental health by taking any job I can get, repeating my past pattern of feeling better for a few months and then my anxiety and depression taking a nosedive so I have to quit the job and end up in more debt after spending my savings on basic living expenses.

Just need to trust myself to follow my own path and not worry about all the stuff which doesn't matter, like what other people think.

AspiringButAnxious

It's been a quiet couple of weeks and things are going pretty well I have been working on my novel, ramping up my efforts because there is a competition I want to enter in September. I've also begun running again, on the treadmill, which is great for my mood and fitness. Been to kettlebells on my own twice in the past week, because my mum is on holiday, and coped.

Moneywise, I have added some more to my fun fund, which is now £250. I would also like to bolster my emergency fund before long. Also paid off some of the credit card, to keep it at a more manageable level, so it's now at £350 (interest free).

Feel like I should be doing more, but I'm just glad my mental health is better than it has been for a long while.

reality_check

Everything sounds like it is moving in the right direction, I am glad I am desperate to go out a run, but I think I am saying that because I am 8 months pregnant and know it is impossible, we will see if I am so enthusastic in a few months time :rotfl:

Do you have any plans for the fun fund or just building it up until something you want to do comes up? xx

Florence_J

reality_check wrote: »

Everything sounds like it is moving in the right direction, I am glad I am desperate to go out a run, but I think I am saying that because I am 8 months pregnant and know it is impossible, we will see if I am so enthusastic in a few months time :rotfl:

Do you have any plans for the fun fund or just building it up until something you want to do comes up? xx

Congratulations Reality_Check! I didn't know you were expecting! Wishing you all the best.

Glad to hear things are going ok for you ABA

AspiringButAnxious

Thanks guys — and congratulations rc, if I haven't said it before (I lose track!)

I would like to use the fun fund for a skydive, but don't know when that will happen. I would also like to keep some extra, too, just so I can do things if I fancy it, without having to consider my cashflow first. I suppose I see it acting as a lower priority version of my rainy day fund, so I can use it if something comes up.

My main financial concern atm is what to do about my Very account balance. It's interest free until November, but then the interest will shoot up, so I need to get it out by then. Hoping my parents might help me out (again), which makes me feel guilty and pathetic, but makes financial sense since they have access to credit with lower interest rates and might not need to use credit to pay it, leaving me free to pay them back quicker — including the original loan, which would get neglected if I had to put Very balance on cc (which wouldn't cover the whole amount anyway).

It's such a mess. I shouldn't have bought the camera and lens — it was an impulsive attempt to cheer myself up as my mental health nosedived and it's left me feeling more stressed. But I can't change it. It's too late to return the camera and I wouldn't get my money back by selling it — and I don't want to, since photography adds value to my life and is a handy skill to develop for my career.

Trouble is, if I stress about it, my mental health will deteriorate again, leaving me more vulnerable to impulsive/compulsive spending. It's a vicious circle. At least I feel reasonably in control atm.

AspiringButAnxious

Paid £100 to my mum and £20 off cc, bringing it to £330.

Progress, I suppose, but it doesn't feel much like it with the Very balance hanging over me.

AspiringButAnxious

HUGE weight off my mind: my parents have agreed to pay the Very balance in November and I will pay it off (plus interest) through them. This makes my finances far more manageable and avoids the extortionate interest which Very will start charging if I don't pay off. The balance.

Obviously this is a double-edged sword: relief and guilt. I don't want to place more of a burden on my parents, but paying Very loads of interest would place more of a burden on them because I would take longer to pay them back.

It feels pretty crap to be paying for bad decisions I made during bad episodes of mental illness, but that's my life and I can't change it. All I can do is make better decisions from now on.

My mental health has improved and I'm in a better place now, especially without the stress of how to pay the Very balance. This means I can turn my attention to changing my life in positive ways, including repaying my debt and earning more money.

AspiringButAnxious

I read the first few posts of this thread a couple of days ago and had a minor epiphany: my attitude towards debt and life has changed. I used to view my debt as something which held me back, a weight which dragged me down and stopped me from being happy, achieving my goals and living. Nowadays, I realise that you can't put life on hold. I used to think I had to wait until I was debt-free to follow my dreams, but that wasn't true.

Don't get me wrong — I still want to be debt free and wish I hadn't made many of my bad spending decisions. It's just not my top priority anymore. Instead, my priorities are goals which will make me happier and more successful, which should indirectly lead to my being able to repay my debt. At the beginning of this journey, I thought I had to sacrifice everything in order to repay my debt, but all that did was make me miserable — which meant I was more likely to make poor financial decisions, as compulsive spending and comfort eating are my go-to strategies to feel better (in the short term).

I have followed the same thought processes in relation to other aspects of my life: I used to think "I'll do that when I'm thinner" or "I'll wait until I'm more confident." That hasn't worked well for me. In fact, both my life and my finances have (broadly — not including Machu Picchu) improved when I have focused on working towards the goals which are most important to me.

I guess you would call this an holistic approach to debt. It combines learning to make better financial decisions (including repaying debt, spending less and saving more) with investing in myself. It will probably take me longer to become debt-free, but I am living in the meantime and becoming happier.

AspiringButAnxious

Added £80 to EF

Feel very subdued this week — not very motivated at all. Hope ot passes soon.