re fed up ?

teacup_2

Thanks Lynp,
I used to do avon a long time ago. I think I will go to the jobcentre plus and take a look for something.
Yes it will be nice to work part time as sometimes I feel with hubby that my job is underappreciated when we are having a bit of conflict and I am complaining about what I havent got ! he will say get a job then!, I fire back on full cylinders then, by saying you get a drop and pick kiddies up so I can work uniterupted!. . I will say who put your clean clothes in the wardrobe the fairies !! and I will reel a list off what I do as it makes me feel like I have to justify why I am at home !. I am very tidy bordering on a little obsessive so that takes a lot of effort too! Also I cant say I dislike housework!!cant beleive I say that !, I like taking care of them , but of course I go through stages where I get sick of it too!!!!!!!.
I have been doing a lot of comps of late in the hope of winning something:p , I am glad to hear you have won some things , it gives us a nice little boost!.
I know what you mean about feeling more equal as I guess it feels like you can contribute finacially as well as having lots to talk about too, instead off just house things.
will continue with my book , not sure what to make of it though yet even though it is very positive xxxxxxx ps will check out dvd trials

pippamannequin

teacup wrote: »

meant to say it is important to appreciate what you have got and sometimes I do forget and its normally when so and so is off to an exotic location or when so and so is moving to a big house in a leafy neigbourhood. Its normally when I am comparing what other people have to what i have it makes me fed up and i think oh I wish I had ..................

I found this in my local abc magazine

Its called Woman to woman encouragement ( sorry men I didnt print it )

Someone will always be smarter
Their house will be bigger
They will drive a better car
Their children will do better in school
And their partners will fix more things round the house
So let it go and love you and your circumstances
Think about it
The prettiest woman in the world can have hell in her heart
And the most highly favoured woman at work maybe unable to have children
The richest woman you know - shes got the car the house, the clothes might be heartbreakingly lonely
So love you , love who you are right now

"To the world you might be one person, but to one person you are the world "


I thought this was really sweet and I put it on my fridge when i cut it out

sometimes when I am arguing with my hubby " he says nothings ever good enough for you, Is it ?". It really upsets me as it makes me feel that he must think this about me and I think maybe I must give that out . I dont want to be seen or thought of as being ungratefull. I am trying to change my attidude with gratitude( taken from my book !):p

I think my husband would think I had been taken over by aliens if I cooked a candlelit meal for him!!, thats awfull to say as we just havent done anything nice for each other to let the other know we appreciate them. Will put it on my agenda though X

Years ago in arestaurant we had candlelit dinner and my sleeve got caught in candle , I had to put it out !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just wanted to say what a very truthful quote,

I know the smarter woman

with the bigger house
and the better car
and children that went to a private school
and he did things around the house
she was pretty until he knocked 7 bells out of her
and she couldnt have anymore children because something got messed up when he 'took his way with her once too often'
and yes she is very lonely and has hell in her heart

she has no money of her own, (her husband tells her so) no house to call home, ( he wont buy, just rent a 4 bedroom detached he can take away from her at anytime) no family to share anything with, she just has one or two friends.

These women do exist and truly, there is more they wish for than you would ever know. xx

teacup_2

yes it is awfull to things these things go on and people suffer in silense too. I always think about how skint I feel, but that is nothing compared to what some people go through in their lives

teacup_2

:T Right I have decided to stop moping about, worrying about what i have not got . I am going to make the most of everything now. I am always looking at what estate agents have for sale and thinking oh that would be nice, and the cold truth is if we did move any extra outgoings would be too hard on us finacially . My house is nice and I should appreciate it , nothing needs doing apart from one thing, so that is pretty lucky and I have worked hard decorating etc for ten years to get it to this standard. Maybe one day I will have my chocolate box cottage !!. In the meantime I am not going to drive my hubby round the bend looking at things we cant afford. Trying to create more work!. I think I live on cuckoo land as we couldnt afford to move , we could if I went back to work full time , but I would rather have less finacially and enjoy things like taking care of my family, tidy house, cooking nice food etc. If I worked more hours I could not hold it all together and I admire those who do or can.

1.I have started a spending diary for our family as I think it will make us more aware of what we spend.

2.Going to put things on ebay

3.Going to keep away from shopping centre as I cant be trusted not to purchase things I know I shouldnt, so will take away the temptation( besides cannot afford it and bury my head in sand and worry later , which I wont do now)

4. organise my whole house so I can find things and spend less time looking for things

5. sort my wardrobe out so I actually wear everything .Sort filing out

6 Look at ways I can save money on shopping etc

7. Not be so snappy and moody and ungratefull( this isnt all the time honest , ! I am 90% nice )!

8. Be more positive and lose the negativity I sometimes seem to have

9. Starting college to carve out a career!(mature student !)

10. start doing more as a family this should be at the top of my list but forgot to put it their!

11. appreciate and be gratefull

12. lose a stone in weight ! as been meaning to lose the baby weight , but baby is 8 now !!!! so have no excuse:rotfl:

13. be nice and be more thoughtfull


well I guess this is a start, wanted to share it with you the people who have inspired me and offered advice. By reading these boards their are a broad range of people and just because I dont feel rich finacially, doesnt mean I am not wealthy in others( my wealth is family , husband, healthy children and friends) and this board too !!! as its great for info:T

Spendless

well done teacup :T pleased to see you sounding more positive. I have a similar list, that will be starting in September as this will be the first time in 7.5 years I have not had a child at home during the week for either all or part of the day. :eek:

You might find when yous start sorting your wardrobe and organizing that you have loads of forgotten stuff to use up, and this may help you with finances and temptation to shop.

I love being a mature student. I have flexible learning, so I can go in any time between certain hours. The college follows same holiday as school, so no sorting out childcare needed, and other adults to talk to, as well as learning something new -lol

teacup_2

Hi Spendless,
It is nice once they are at school!!, house quiet no tears & tantrums. Watching "This Morning "!!.
havent started on wardrobe yet as had child tax credit claim to sort out and chasing up an old p45.
It is great to be a mature student I think I appreciate it more now the oppertunity than I did years ago, and it is great to think you get to meet new people too and its fun too.
Yes I hope I do find some forgotton things! will find stuff that wont fit what I have hung on too thinking I will get back in to it (pre pregnancy).
I expect you will have a long list after 7.5 years too !! , the freedom of it !:rotfl:

kippers

Just read this post (thanks to Teacup who pm me).

I know what you mean Teacup. It seems that everyone i see around me, friends, collegues,family etc all actually do have lovely houses, husbands that do diy and children that have lovely clothes and fashionable toys and they all have more than one holiday abroad in wonderful locations. Infact all three of my sisters and my mum have all been on cruises this year (one of them is there now and is going to America in October) and i can't count the number of times my sisters have been to Disneyland.

I find myself saying over and over again to them that we can't go where ever they are planning as we can't afford it and i listen to their tales of what they have bought or are buying, which makes me feel horrible and i've found we have distanced ourselves from most of our friends as we don't seem to have anything in common with them anymore. I also get embarressed when people come round to our house as everything is old or falling to bits around us.

I just wish that i had some friends locally that are in the same situation as us and then i wouldn't feel bad about things as i wouldn't have expensive holidays cars and houses etc thrown in my face everyday.

Am i stupid feeling this way as i have such a lovely husband and two wonderful children.

teacup_2

Hi kippers
Glad you found this post ! , we were clearly feeling the same. I know sometimes when you look at other people they make it look so easy. I have friends who s husbands earn 8 X what my hubby earns , and other friends who live in the poshest bit of town. I found myself putting myself down sometimes as it makes me feel inadequate, maybe a little jealous which I hate to admit as that is not good. I have friends who I dont feel as comfortable with as its like i am pretending to be someone else, if you know what I mean. But on the other hand i have a lovely group of friends within what I call my comfort zone , who I dont feel inferior too, who have the same worries as me , who are down to earth and I leave them and feel happy when we have spent time together. They like going to car boots etc, charity shops,swap things, etc , make things etc.
You are not silly for feeling this way, every so often I get fed up with things. As long as you dont feel like it all the time thats the main thing. I feel I have problems with low self esteem and I look at other people and always think they are better, but i tell myself they are not better just have more money and that doesnt make them better. I would rather be liked for being kind and genuine and down to earth. As I tell myself concentrate on the positive things like having a companion ,and healthy children / family and that is really what is important everything else is secondary .
It may be good if you try and meet some locals , how old are your children?, are they school age? if so you may meet some other mums etc:A

teacup_2

Hi spendless Many thanks for prompting me on the tax credits, I contacted them and received a great fast service. They have awarded us £226. a month, which really does help, they have taken what we owe them by not starting this full payment till october ie we are receiving £56. for this month , £170 for sept and then the full amount kicks in:beer: , so thanks spendless. I thought it would all happen automatically if we were entitled to anything, Next tax year we will be entitled to more , as first part of tax year husbands wages were higher , so it will even out eventually:T . Am pleased it does help xxxxxxxx

beachbeth

I think you are doing such an important thing by staying at home with your children and you will be able to look back in the future and know that you did your best for them.:T Too many people are obsessed with having the latest designer gear, fashionable holiday, fashionable accessories around the house. I have a relative who will spend £80 or more on just a handbag!:eek: Even if I could afford it I could not imagine even wanting to do this!!! She thinks the main priority in life is to have all the latest stuff in her house and they added to their mortgage in order to have a designer wedding! Its strange because I feel sorry for her. She has got it all wrong in my book. I am so glad and grateful that I have my beautiful children, lovely husband, nice and not expensive home and my dogs to cuddle. The important things in life are not having the latest designer things but to have your loving family around you. I am thankful every day for them.

The people who are the most wealthy are the ones who realise this.