I WILL get there!!

kirtsypoos

That's what I'm going to concentrate on most! I really need to figure out why I feel the need to 'buy' people appreciation/gratitude/love or whatever it is that drives me to overgift.
It will be difficult over the next 6 months as there is a group of us who always get lovely thoughtful presents for each other and we all turn 30 which we've been planning for quite a while! The city break I'm going on in September is for one of their birthdays, another one is a weekend at a sun holiday caravan park (both already booked). To try and keep costs down for me, myself and another friend are doing a joint celebration at a caravan park also - hopefully another sun holiday if we can get the dates, if not a budget of £40 per person. There won't be much going out, just a lot of in house drinking which I always find so much cheaper than the lure of gaudy overpriced cocktails! Apart from the actual going away, I'm putting a limit for each person which is less than half what I would normally spend...hard work but I will do it.
My MBNA card DD went out this morning so I've updated my signature (even made a couple of pence overpayment to round the figure down)

Bobarella

Hi Kirsty
Is there any way you can be honest with your friendship group and just ask that the level of spend can be reduced? It just seems such a shame that you feel so sad when your friends should make you happy. They all may feel exactly the same for all you know.
Just a suggestion
Bob

kirtsypoos

Hi Bob!

I actually plan to sit down with them all when we are together next week and explain just how determined I am with this debt paying. I know 1 of them is in a similar position and I know he's trying to pay things off but I'm not sure if he's actually had his LBM yet - spending continues which I can't say anything about because it's not so long ago I was exactly the same!
They all know I have debt, and they're supportive about me paying everything off, I think it's more about how stingy I will feel as opposed to them being funny about it - that's something I need to get my head around.

Payday for me today so I've made my min payments plus a few more, I've still got some DD to come out later in the month which will change my totals again, and I'll be getting OHs rent on his payday which will go straight off the debt.
Put some bits and pieces on ebay last night - I'm getting good at decluttering even though it broke my heart to part with some pieces - petticoats for my 50s dresses but at the moment I'm gaining weight, not losing it and it's pointless having a wardrobe of beautiful things I can't get into
Losing weight will be next on the plan - once I've settled into this debt busting way of life I'll sort my diet out, but I feel like I need to focus on one thing at a time for now.

kirtsypoos

I've just logged onto the O2 website to pay my sim only bill and they have 15% off their sim only tariffs (I'm already on a 12 month sim only contract, but an upgrade with this off will mean I get extra data allowance for cheaper per month (only about £1.25 but every little helps!!)

Bobarella

Ok, first of all, you are not being stingy. Please dont feel like that. I do know the feeling. But you are doing this for your future. And thinking about it from my own POV I'd much rather a friend matter of factly told me they couldnt do something, in a positive way because they were sorting out X Y or Z for themselves, than just came along and then made others feel guilty for spending.
Hope I havent put that badly, and not saying YOU do that, but I've certainly experienced moaning minis who will say 'oh I cant afford this or that' when I am trying to have a nice time. I then feel like I should pay for them. Whereas if I am going out, and I am drinking lime and soda or whatever, then I would just be really positive about that and explain I dont want booze, because Im taking control of my finances.
I'll stop waffling on now....

kirtsypoos

Thanks Bob, I think it will just take a bit of time for my over-generous side to catch up with my debt busting side!
You haven't put it badly at all, I completely understand and agree with what you said. I think I'm very positive about my reasons for not doing things and I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything. I feel quite proud of my new mindset and I just hope that continues into the city break - I don't want to miss out on things I won't get the chance to do again (probably won't visit these places again) but I've set a budget and I will only spend what I have put aside (and hopefully bring some back for extra payments)
OH is treating me to a curry this evening and on Sunday we will go to the local and have something to eat - it's 2 meals for less than £9, and they are very generous portions and very tasty so that's my payday treat to us

kirtsypoos

I've had a fairly quiet day - I've recently discovered heron foods so I'm doing most of our weekly shop there this week, it's a trial because I prefer to prepare a meal from scratch rather than use frozen processed meats but I need to make our food budget work! We got some birds eye chicken grills (4 plain and 4 BBQ), 4 garlic chicken kievs, 20 richmond sausages, 2 birds eye southern fried chicken style breaded chicken, some ribs, 2 chicago town takeaway style pizzas, some eggs and some treat M&Ms that OH stuck in the basket while I wasn't looking! spent £19 so not too bad at all - it will do us over a week for evening meals and then went to the greengrocer and bought a bag of potatoes, some green beans and some broadbeans for £2.60. Just pasta and some more veg to get so we may well actually stick to our £35 a week food budget for the first time since he moved in!
Saying that, we went for our cheap pub lunch and had cheesy garlic bread as a side - it's like I save some money and immediately waste it somewhere else!
I moved £10 out of my clothes pot to make a payment off MBNA to 'punish' myself - hopefully it will make me realise what I'm playing at!

I'm not getting on very well with YNAB, I can't seem to get my head around it at all! I've spent 2 hours playing round with my own budget spreadsheets and I think I'm going to stick to those for now.

Hope everyone is having a good weekend

crazy_cat_lady

Have you done any of the online training for YNAB? I've done the first two and found them really helpful.

Bobarella

Wow Kirsty that seems a huge haul for £19. That lot will last a fortnight surely?

kirtsypoos

Hi Crazy_Cat_Lady, I haven't done any of them yet, I will try and have a look at them over the next week but I'm quite happy with my spreadsheets so I'm not too worried. Thanks though, maybe I'm just a slow YNAB starter!

Hi Bob, I'm hoping it will also do our lunches for work and we have friends over for dinner on this week (we go to each others houses in turn, it's our turn so I'm cooking for 8 on Thursday, but wont have to cook on a Thursday again for 4 weeks so it evens out well - Toad in the hole this week with my bargain £2.50 richmond sausages!)