I WILL get there!!

kirtsypoos

My Directors wife works at a local Doctors Surgery so she has brought me some registration forms, but having checked the surgery out on the NHS website I think I'll go with a different one :eek:

Have made a larger than planned PAD today so I can hit 20% of my DFBXMAS2017 target it had to be done before we begin March.

I can't believe I'll be 31 in a month - I was talking to OH about it last night and I still feel like I'm in my early twenties, I don't know where time goes. I think since we found out my sis was expecting, time has sped up massively.

I'm trying to concentrate on the positives at the moment. It's easier said than done but I really want to avoid medication and positive thinking was the first mechanism that made a difference for me. Not a major one, but I started to look at things from a difference perspective and I want to try and do that again.

My boss has been pretty good. Told him that I'm struggling at the moment and he has offered to let me work from his office if I feel anxious or like I want to be away from everyone (my office is the go to place anytime anyone has a problem or complaint so it's difficult to concentrate, or stay positive)

Jessy103

Hi kirstypoos. I'm sorry to read about the problems you are having and I hope you feel better soon. I've been on fluoxetine for my depression and ocd and it did work quite well but like you I don't like taking medication so I told my doctor I didn't want to be on them anymore. I now do yoga, gardening and walk my dogs alot which I find really helps ! I have trouble with checking doors and windows are locked and can get in a panic when I leave the house because I think I haven't locked the front door. OH has suggested filming myself locking the doors on my phone so I can replay it and be reassured! I am yet to try this!

Anyway I don't mean to take away from your problems but to let you know you are not alone and I hope you find something that works to help you feel better.

Take care and lots of love! x

kirtsypoos

Thanks Jessy sometimes it's just nice to hear you aren't alone in the strange thoughts!

I'm finding the yoga is helping at the moment, so I'm going to try and do more of that when I can, I might try once a day in the morning before I get showered so I can relax and start the day nicely.

I have a friend who has problems with door and window locking, it takes us 30 minutes sometimes to leave her house as she checks over and over again, convincing herself that when she checked it was locked, she has somehow opened it again. She has a little song her therapist suggested to her and she sings it as she leaves the house, it's a routine thing I think but if it's not something you've tried, it might be worth some research?

I think part of the problem at the moment is I have let my weight get out of control, and when I lose control of one thing I feel like everything is getting away from me and it's a downward spiral. I need to get to grips with losing some weight, which I think will help with my anxiety as I think a lot of that comes from a control aspect.

Jessy103

You're more than welcome and I've found that accepting the fact that I'm not 'wired up' like other people has helped with my anxiety and feeling inadequate.

Oh gosh your friend sounds just like me! Can you imagine us together checking bloody door handles! I will definitely look into the song thing though. Thanks for that!

Yeah I see what you mean about the weight and the other upside to concentrating on losing some is that healthy eating helps both your body and mind. Plenty of greens!!!

Good luck and keep us posted! X

Bobarella

Well done on hitting your target Kirsty. You are so focused, it's very inspiring.

kirtsypoos

Happy March everyone!! I will be 31 by the time the month is out :eek:

Jessy103 wrote: »

Oh gosh your friend sounds just like me! Can you imagine us together checking bloody door handles! I will definitely look into the song thing though. Thanks for that!

I imagine the pair of you together would take hours to leave the house :rotfl:

Bobarella wrote: »

Well done on hitting your target Kirsty. You are so focused, it's very inspiring.

Thanks Bob - I just wish I was more focused on my weight at the moment...I don't seem to be able to focus on more than one thing!

I did my yoga again last night so hopefully the little bit of exercise will be helping me mentally and physically soon

kirtsypoos

Not much to report today. Having a very bad day with my tummy but other than that all is ok. Didn't do my yoga last night as we were out at friends date night. OH is at kung fu tonight so will do some whilst he's out.

I ordered a pair of curtains for our dining room too. Found the ones I wanted a couple of weeks ago - budget was £75 and the ones I fell in love with were £95 so I've been trying to decide whether to move the money from another rooms curtain budget or just go with a pair we weren't that keen on....had a sneaky peek on dunelm today and they are now showing as £60 :j:j doesn't say sale or anything, so not entirely sure why they are cheaper today but they are ordered and I will pick them up over the weekend

May need to rejig my budget as it doesn't seem to be adding up and I can't work out why at the moment.

We looked at a car last weekend which we thought was perfect but DVLA have got a new tool for me to play with which tells you the MOT history of a car. Checked it and it had a new MOT last week but advisories on all tyres, an oil leak, play in anti-rollbar linkage and a damaged joint gaiter. Whilst I'm no mechanic, that doesn't sound good to me so may have had a near miss there!!

Bobarella

Oh wow that sounds an interesting tool. I wish we'd had that when we bought our last ever car! It was an Audi A6 which we paid £2000 for so not a huge sum relatively speaking. It was in pristine condition. In a few days of buying it we found it was handling weird. Turned out to have a cracked oil pipe. The garage were beyond funny about it all. Asking for half the cost of the repair!! Er no.
We ended up having it 6 months in total. We got £150 for scrap...

kirtsypoos

I'd not heard of it before Bob, I came across it on google!

What a pain about your last car though! Did they stump up for the repair in the end?

OH wanted to buy an audi avant estate thing, but I don't like estate cars, and having heard a few audi horror stories the past few days, I'm glad I talked him out of it!

zippygeorgeandben

Hello kirtsypoos, just reading some of your diary for the first time.
I'm not here to give you advice, I just want to help you recognise when positive things happen in your life.
On post hashtag (I can't find the symbol on my Macbook for a hashtag, well I can, I just don't know combination of buttons to press for it to appear!) 1178 - you say that nothing much happened. That's not strictly true though is it?
You found a pair of curtains you loved, obviously thought it through budget wise, made a conscious decision to purchase even though they were over your allowed amount but still did more research and found them for £60. That, from an outsider point of view is something to be pleased about. It's the kind of anecdote I would bore my OH with when he walks through the door after work!
You researched a car you thought was perfect and, once again, you checked it all out online and well, it sounds less reliable than Delboy's three wheeler!

That's it really, I just want you to acknowledge when you do achieve something, no matter how big or small.
Hope you are sleeping well. x