Pressure from family

TBagpuss

I gre that it may be sensible to speak to your mum next time she brings up the subject, and let her know how you feel.

"Mum, it feels as though every time I speak to you you go on about me moving to your area. That's not something I have any plans to do. This is my home now. I love it here. I don't have any plans to move to [parents' home town].
You are welcome to visit us more often, and of you decided you wanted to move, you could probably afford a lot more her than you can where you are, but that is up to you. But I'd really appreciate it if you could try not to bring it up every time we speak. It makes me feel that you're not listening to me when I tell you that this is my home now, and that you don't accept that I have moved on and built a life for myself here"

then when she brings it up again you an say "Mum, we talked about this, this *is* my home. I don't plan to move to [their hometown]"

moneyistooshorttomention

I can understand the dilemma here.

I've had to move from my home area to elsewhere in the country and I know it upset my mother. In my position - I'm not that charmed about it myself. But I do the "broken record" thing myself - and just stick to the absolute facts and not my feelings about things. The absolute fact being "I cant afford my own area Mother. There was no alternative" and I think, by now, she can see that this is the case and I'm open to ideas as to how to bridge the financial gap between the two areas - but, unless she has dreamt up next week's Lottery numbers, then I cant see a way to cover that price gap between houses in the two areas.

I know she does feel that I'm safer here than in my home area and is pleased I've made some friends here - so its made it easier for her to accept. I can see that she genuinely wants me to be okay too.

But...yes...it is a dilemma and the more so when you can see your elderly parents aren't well (as is the case with an older person like myself). But, if there is no alternative, then there is no alternative and that's how life is sometimes.

maman

Thanks for the clues;).


I live in the same city as your mother so maybe I could go round and keep her company and extol the virtues of South Wales. Cymru am Byth!!:D