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Fed up of being dictated to!!
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Unless I'm being really thick, why do people keep talking about giving the dad back his contribution when the car is sold? I can't see anything about him contributing to the car in the first place.
But, ...... OP I agree with the poster who suggested offering to sell the car to your father, before you trade it in. If he likes it do much he can pay for it and have exclusive use of it. Obviously we know what he will say, but at least he can't say you didn't offer?0 -
DivineSaver wrote: »No, they are British. Only lived abroad for 7 years.
That would be the easiest way to do it, I know. However my dad would flip his lid if I traded the car in without asking him first :eek::eek::eek:
Right: define "flip his lid". Would he kill you or your OH? Would he physically attack you or your OH? Would he rant and rave? Would he shout, yell and stomp about? Would he storm out of the house saying "you're no daughter of mine?" Withdraw his approval of the way you live?
Now look at this rationally. He's not likely to kill you or attack you. But he will probably do everything else -so you can just sit there and let him get it out of his system - saying nothing, doing nothing. Let him finish, then just walk out of the room - and sell your car, and buy what you want.
Ignore his phone calls, your mother's phone calls, just let them get over it. At the end of the day, you will still be his daughter, he will still be your father, doing as he always does - laying down the law. But you don't have to take any notice of him.
You are the grown woman, with a career in front of her. You are buying your own home, you and your OH have your lives in front of you. You have the power - not them.0 -
This bit.19lottie82 wrote: »Unless I'm being really thick, why do people keep talking about giving the dad back his contribution when the car is sold? I can't see anything about him contributing to the car in the first place.
I would agree with those who say sell the car, give him back his contribution and don't involve him at all in YOUR new car.DivineSaver wrote: »I paid for car #1, that car and extra money from my dad was used to buy car #2, car #2 + extra from my dad was then used to buy car #3.Do you not know that a man is not dead while his name is still spoken?
― Sir Terry Pratchett, 1948-20150 -
Angry_Bear wrote: »This bit.
I would agree with those who say sell the car, give him back his contribution and don't involve him at all in YOUR new car.
Yes, as I thought I was being really thick! Thank you Angry Bear!0 -
Easy missed19lottie82 wrote: »Yes, as I thought I was being really thick! Thank you Angry Bear!
Do you not know that a man is not dead while his name is still spoken?
― Sir Terry Pratchett, 1948-20150 -
Had a brief chat with my dad tonight about the issue. He seemed shocked that I was wanting to sell the car. He says he understands where I'm coming from about running costs but has asked if I can keep the car (and if he can keep using it) until his car is up and running.. DVLA says will be up to 6 weeks.
1 point for communication. Lets see what the future brings.
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OK - so communication channels are open. I hope you still keep driving to the tip, and taking the out the dog in the car - and make sure that dad realises that in 6 weeks time, you ARE selling the car, choosing a new one that suits YOUR lifestyle ...and that the insurance will not cover him driving your new car. Alternatively, if his car does not meet DVLA requirements, you sell him the current car!0
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Well done OP. Do you think your father is being honest about his car being ready in 6 weeks? I got the impression it should be ready to go by now, but your father keeps extending the deadline?0
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You probably could bear it for the next 6 weeks until his car is sorted but the way you are subsidising his fuel consumption and his criticism about how you care for the care are going to drive you round the twist. Can you cope with this?
Is there anyway you can safely siphon out the fuel before you hand it over so you give it to him empty?
How long have you endured running an expensive car for his enjoyment but at your cost to date?
Before, I believe your posts were about how your parents were exploiting your house?0
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