NST July - Bobs Bucket & Spade Boogie to the beach!

WelshKitty85

Hi everyone!

calling sorry to read about your friend.

bob hope you find time to look after yourself in between everything else.

Sorry I didn't post yesterday. Was feeling a bit down. Got home from work to 'have you still not been shopping yet?' from dh who was fully aware of the reason why I was putting off the weekly shop. So, I ended up storming back out of the house to go and do the shopping in between taking children to their various activities. I had a complete meltdown when I got back home and lost it with dh.

Today has been ok. Spent most of it in work and dh had actually prepared dinner when I got home. Has been a NSD despite the fact I forgot to take my lunch to work. I must restock my locker with supplies for times like this.

Bobarella

Welsh Kitty - how disheartening for you to feel so unappreciated by your OH on that occasion. It is hard when you are trying to drive the family forwards by living this way and you get dissent in the ranks. Do you think he is tired or worried about something else and just picking on the no food thing as an issue to force a row?

Either way hugs. I'd be hopping mad.

Fmess

Yay on the extra weekend work and your mini break Bob

I hadn't thought about water. I'm on a fixed rate of about £17 a month, is it related to how many people live in a house?

I too am with FU but not heard about the smart meter, I'll have to investigate that too. Thanks for all of your sharing and advice on the topic.

Today was a SFD :j and a long one but did resist all the shops and used my prepaid bus card. A bit upsetting too as saw my ex and that stirred up all the emotions again Off to bed soon, tomorrow is another day.

The_Only_Girl

Hi Bob, we also received a letter last Saturday about the smart meter installation. However, because we are in the process of moving to a different provider, I wasn't sure whether to have it done. FU might turn around and make us pay for it. Not really sure what to do about it. What do you guys think?

Today turned out to be a spendy day again . Unbeknownst to me, hubby took £20 from the grocery envelope and did a small shop on the way home from work. Not really needed as we have lots of stuff in the fridge and freezer and cupboard but I preferred not to say anything. It might be his way of showing me his support after my tiring night shifts. Might even be a surprise for me. So I am picking my battles and decided this is not the one to fight over. Surprisingly he was full of energy today. Upon seeing that I've tidied up the camping gears, he immediately proceeded to putting them in the shed, hoovering the floor while the dinner was in the oven (prepared by him) and now he is cleaning the fish tank. I. am definitely not one to complain.

Early start tomorrow so I am heading to bed now. Night night.

The_Only_Girl

Fmess we cross posted. Please ring your water provider because you might be paying too much, based on two people when your hubby was still living with you. Water metering might be worth trying.

Sorry to hear about your stirred up emotion after bumping with your ex. Hugs.

WelshKitty85

Bobarella wrote: »

Welsh Kitty - how disheartening for you to feel so unappreciated by your OH on that occasion. It is hard when you are trying to drive the family forwards by living this way and you get dissent in the ranks. Do you think he is tired or worried about something else and just picking on the no food thing as an issue to force a row?

Either way hugs. I'd be hopping mad.

Thanks bob. It's a bit of a difficult situation. Dh suffers depression, which is made worse by the fact he is struggling to find work atm. He blames himself for any financial problems and ends up getting himself into a downward spiral. I get frustrated by the fact that I go to work and then am expected to cook etc when I get home, but if I say anything then it triggers his depression. I know it sounds daft but it has always frustrated me when I have had to ask dh to do household chores, as if he is doing me a favour, that otherwise I would just be expected to do. But I have realised that I have to get over that now and leave him chores to do, hence him cooking tonight. I just wish that sometimes he could see what needs doing and do it without being asked! Sorry for the rant!

The_Only_Girl

Hi Welsh kitty sorry to hear about your troubles with hubby's depression. It's a vicious circle isn't it, one that is so hard to break. You are doing a great job, trying to keep your family together and get out of financial trouble, and better yourself as well. Not easy at all. Chin up my dear, you are a fantastic woman. Just think that it's his illness not him that's making him behave that way.

Bobarella

Sorry to hear that. I agree it isn't fair that you should do so much. Not that it helps right now but maybe some big family batch cooking sessions at the weekend would help take the heat off you during the week.
I hope your husband finds work soon.

Fmess

The_Only_Girl wrote: »

Fmess we cross posted. Please ring your water provider because you might be paying too much, based on two people when your hubby was still living with you. Water metering might be worth trying.

Sorry to hear about your stirred up emotion after bumping with your ex. Hugs.

Thank you, I'll call the water company and see what they say.

Hugs Welsh kitty, what a difficult situation for you to be in. Could you perhaps do a list of all chores that need doing in your house in a week and then cross them off when someone does them? Maybe if your DH sees the list, it'll guide him in the right direction without you having to give him specific instructions on what to do each day.

mothernerd

Calling hugs and sympathy for you and your friend.

I am feeling much better. I should say I have been very bad but don't really feel bad, maybe you can only manage without things for so long before you snap.

My mammogram appointment was at 9.30am this morning so tried really hard to get to sleep early so I could get up early. Well the universe conspired against me (police helicopter was doing circles above the house so gave up trying to sleep and read for a bit and then had been awake for so long that I needed to go downstairs to get a snack). So I must have had all of 2 hours sleep.

Decided I was going straight back to bed once the appointment was over - I was the second customer and we were both waiting for them to let us in. I sat on the steps as I needed to sit down. Went for the bus as there was no way I could walk back. Tried to decide whether to just buy the ticket back to town centre or buy an anybus all day ticket in the hope of getting things done later.

Went with the anybus ticket and then decided I was going to have my day out. Weather turned overcast so decide to got to Southport rather than country park - shelter if it rained, lots of toilets,better for hayfever too. Changed library books, checked train times, bought supplies (from home I had 2 apples, 4 raw carrots, 1 boiled egg and 2 bottles of water but it didn't really say 'picnic' to me) and got myself to the train station (called at other house on the way to decant as much as possible into the small rucksack as I brought the large rucksack back last time).

Train was 6 minutes later than the internet time, which meant that I caught it. Had a gentle pottering day, mainly sitting on benches in different locations, reading and people watching (bird antics as well). Went round a very interesting display in the local gallery (also theatre/ museum/ library/etc,etc). Lots of stuff about the sands, development of the town from the original 2 rows of guest houses and a sandy track with donkey cart transport.

A display cabinet of Dan Dare stuff, lovely old life jackets (lots of wrecks on the sand dunes) made from strips of cork wood and a meccano display with a tiny motorbike at the end. It looked like a child size one, tyres like the ones you get on wheelbarrows and bolted together in three places. However it was actually designed to be dropped at the same time as parachutists in WWII, so that they would find it easy to get around once they were on the ground.

They also had toilets which was very useful. I had decided before I went that fish and chips and an ice cream were part of the seaside experience but that I would not buy them, but would get the supermarket equivalents when I got back. As I saw fish and chips advertised at £10 and ice cream at £2 (sm) and £2.50(lge) this was a wise decision. The cheapest ice cream was 80p but went up to £1 further along the same alley and I didn' t even look at the van prices on the promenade by the lake. Southport has a series of 'fronts' with lots of gardens then the man made lake with wide proms, a series of arched bridges spanning it and different activities on it then more things on the far side (fun fair, large grass area, go carts where the outdoor pool used to be) before you get to yet another road and they miles of sand - it is very rare to see the sea at Southport, other than on the distant horizon. Public toilets were like those bike locker things and you had to pay 50p - or go back to places like the museum where they were free.

However I have spent money, quite wisely (I hope) but it isn't money I had lying around. I have two skirts that I wear all the time. I have a third but it is a different shape and doesn't look right atm. The dress I bought before I went in hospital (the lovely J as per Con ran multi colour wrap) has been wornout. Several times I ahve had to decide which of my two skirts is 'least bad' and have also had not going out of the house days because I've washed both and neither is dry.

I am also fed up of days when I need more than a t-shirt (choice of 2 sweatshirts, one with a paint stain on the front or my mini raincoat). So I looked at summer cardigans but fell in love with a linen skirt. The linen skirt is full length, flared and elasticated at the back - so smart at the front but with a little give at the back. I don't feel comfortable in trousers but love skirts I can wrap around myself if it's cold and it's been a few years since I have seen any.

So I spent £56 on replacing my basic 'summer cardigan' (plain black with little buttons - twinset type cardigan, had them before and they last about five years) and two (1 black, 1 navy) linen skirts (the one I was wearing today and the one that isn't right atm are now grey and they have both had the 'black
permanent marker' used on them to cover up various marks). The skirts should be easy to take in when I lose more weight. They had 20% off so were £20 each instead of £25.

So I'll go on the naughty step for the rest of the month because I really can't afford these things but on the other hand my current wardrobe isn't even capsule, I've haunted the charity shops for months and I needed something or I will be spending even more time indoors because I don't have any clothes to put on.

Today I am grateful for my favourite wildlife garden (best bit of the walk to the infirmary, for spontaneity (had a lovely day) and for being on my own but not lonely.

Sorry I am still aware that I am 'reporting' but not 'responding' to others. Will get better soon.