Former friend accosted me inappropriately

Legacy_user

She was a former colleague too.

Were good friends for about 4-5 years. Stopped talking to her in early Feb - never had an argument. As got fed up with her sudden change into a rude, racist patronising woman.

I have said some examples of what she has done to me and has hurt me to a few colleagues. Most colleagues were disgusted on how she could change into this.Even some customers that live near her noticed this too.

Moving swiftly on tonight. It was a retirement do for a colleague retiring this Friday. There were 32-35 of us. She sat on one table and I sat on another, at the other end of the room. It was a lovely evening.

She left the pub five mins before I did and thought her DH would have picked her and another colleague who lives around the corner from her. As I turned around the corner, going to my car. She grabbed me by the shoulder saying 'I want a word with you as you are lying about me'. I said I never be a time to talk and I've never lied. I said this whilst walking back to my car.

Where she was standing, it was impossible to go back into the pub, informing those still behind as it would involve me walking past her again. I felt sitting in the car, waiting for her DH to pick her up, then go back into the pub. But I would be a sitting target. As her DH would have parked up and both of them would have a go at me. I just drove off and fortunately her DH was driving in the car park as I was driving out.

I dread to think what she has been talking about me during the meal to those colleagues sitting near her, unless she was bottling it up for this moment.

How insensitive and inappropriate was she? I need to mention this conversation to my colleagues to them as they probably think it ended alright. No it just shows this woman is truly a nasty piece of work.

Any advice for me?

balletshoes

so, you b*tched about her to your colleagues, you suspect she b*tched about you to your colleagues, and now you want to b*tch some more.

I think you sound about as bad as each other and you should just stop, now.

19lottie82

I agree it all seems a bit pathetic and you both sound as bad as each other.

Grow up and get over it.

pebbles88

why on earth did you talk to mutual customers about what had happened between you. To colleagues is bad enough, but to customers too? Very unprofessional. I guess it's got back to her what you've said hence what happened.

Georgiegirl256

ScarletMarble wrote: »

How insensitive and inappropriate was she?

Not at all as far as I can see. You're the one who appears to have been !!!! stirring and the one who appears to want to carry on doing so.

What exactly has this woman done wrong?

pebbles88

ScarletMarble wrote: »

She was a former colleague too.

Were good friends for about 4-5 years. Stopped talking to her in early Feb - never had an argument. As got fed up with her sudden change into a rude, racist patronising woman.

I have said some examples of what she has done to me and has hurt me to a few colleagues. Most colleagues were disgusted on how she could change into this.Even some customers that live near her noticed this too.

Moving swiftly on tonight. It was a retirement do for a colleague retiring this Friday. There were 32-35 of us. She sat on one table and I sat on another, at the other end of the room. It was a lovely evening.

She left the pub five mins before I did and thought her DH would have picked her and another colleague who lives around the corner from her. As I turned around the corner, going to my car. She grabbed me by the shoulder saying 'I want a word with you as you are lying about me'. I said I never be a time to talk and I've never lied. I said this whilst walking back to my car.

Where she was standing, it was impossible to go back into the pub, informing those still behind as it would involve me walking past her again. I felt sitting in the car, waiting for her DH to pick her up, then go back into the pub. But I would be a sitting target. As her DH would have parked up and both of them would have a go at me. I just drove off and fortunately her DH was driving in the car park as I was driving out.

I dread to think what she has been talking about me during the meal to those colleagues sitting near her, unless she was bottling it up for this moment.

How insensitive and inappropriate was she? I need to mention this conversation to my colleagues to them as they probably think it ended alright. No it just shows this woman is truly a nasty piece of work.

Any advice for me?

This below was posted on another thread earlier this evening (or yesterday should I say!). There are inconsistencies between them as you'll see.

ScarletMarble wrote: »

The retirement meal was lovely.

But on a sour and upsetting note. When I was leaving the pub, walking to the car. My former colleague/friend was outside waiting for her DH to pick him up along with a colleague who was picked up by him as lives down the next street..

She grabbed my shoulder and said 'I want a word with you Scarlet' Then let go of my shoulder. 'You've been lying about me' I walked off saying there will never be a time and a place to talk and I haven't lied. Got into the car, drove off and good job I did then as I drove past her DH's car as he was driving into the car park.

I didn't bother to turn around when I said the above, but hopefully, there were other colleagues outside that heard the conversation.

How dare she ruin my evening? Did she have to wait until a special occasion. to do this? I will be telling my colleagues about this tomorrow.

OP, just stop talking about this full stop, you say you didn't fall out/have an argument, you just stopped talking to her as you didn't agree with some of her behaviour. just leave it at that rather than keeping it going.

Transformers

Surely this is a paper round of a job that you're talking about? A job after school?

Because you're acting like a b1tchy little school girl and not a grown woman.

If it's a grown-up job then you need to keep your personal life away from the work environment - and stop trying to get other colleagues and customers on-side with you.

pendragon_arther

If you both have a cat fight film it and put it on Youtube and it might go viral.

Maz

Not this again. Too tedious and pathetic for words. For god's sake let it go, you sound like a petulant 8 year old.

System

I wasn't acting b!tchy when my colleagues asked why I wasn't talking to her. I just she turned into an unpleasant person. Then gave examples of this. This is not a sign of b1tchyness.

I know I wrote the OP soon after the event. I was tired, upset, angry.

My colleagues understand me. I texted and FB messaged 2 or 3. They are much better than you lot at understanding me. They will support

If anyone disagrees with this, then I will ignore each and one of you. You are as bad as her.

peachyprice

Pah, what goes around comes around.

And now you've added to the whole situation by slapping the 'accost' over facebook.