Finding Mr right.....

SandC

I'm 44 and last time I had a date was 2013. I seem to be immune to meeting people who are anything other than friends. I train somewhere and I'm not kidding the number of relationships that have come about from there is just unreal.

I mostly feel very happy for people but there are a few that I kind of think 'how unfair' as they were already in relationships and just met someone new at training and left one to embark on another. Ignoring for a moment the cheating aspect of it, it's like they thought they were happy and with the right one and then 'BAM!'.

Having said the above, I don't tend to go to the social events that are sometimes arranged..... I can't believe they're meeting entirely based on being a hot, sweaty mess...

Friends try to fix me up on a fairly regular basis but the last two chaps that I've been asked 'what do you think?' I've actually said, yeah, wouldn't mind going for a drink with him, only for the chaps concerned to not be bothered about it all.

My age group seem to have something of a sense of apathy - if I'm honest me included. It's true you do have to work at it.

VestanPance

I think sports clubs can be bad for that. The reason I left the triathlon club I trained with was due to it being as much of a knocking shop as it was a triathlon club.

Stevie_Palimo

Get on Tinder Vodkachick.

Gloomendoom

VestanPance wrote: »

I think sports clubs can be bad for that. The reason I left the triathlon club I trained with was due to it being as much of a knocking shop as it was a triathlon club.

Interesting.

Some chap was trying to get Mrs G to join the triathlon club.

pinkandblueshoe

Known of a few triathlon clubs, none of them were knocking shops, maybe you were just very unlucky.

Sounds awful

pinkandblueshoe

I don't think anyone at 47 could be accused of missing the boat. She's looking to date someone, she's not looking to drag anyone up the aisle. And her having cats presumably didn't put off her last long term bf or cause that relationship to break down.

Lots of people find relationships in their 40s and later. So many people get married young and their marriages break down, I know several people who've got married for the second time after 40 years of age.

I know a woman who was on POF who met their life partner at the age of 44, I also know someone who was 51 who had a long term relationship with someone she met on POF and another woman who was very attractive and in her late 50s who dated a few men from that site. Age isn't a barrier to dating, or it shouldn't be.

By the way, I also know more than one couple who have been together a long time, almost 20 years and who can't stand the sight of one another but won't separate. When I think back to some of the parents of my friends at school and some of the very unhappy marriages they had, they'd have been better calling it a day. I think its easy to fall into the trap of thinking, being in a couple is fabulous and everything else is awful, it's not always the case.

Far better to be happily single than stuck in that situation. Better also to be 47 and open to dating and happy if someone turns up or not as the case may be, than worrying too much about it either way.

Someone local to me just lost their husband, he was in his late 30s (she's slightly younger). He went out to play a football match and dropped dead on the pitch. I bet she never thought she would be in the situation of being without her husband that early on in life. You don't know what's ahead of you (good or bad) and while I wouldn't wish what happened to that woman on anyone, people looking at the OP or women of that age and saying you've missed the boat, anyone could find themselves widowed at any age and at some stage be in the situation where you might want to find yourself another partner.

Ive seen people post on other sections of this board saying they've recently met people and they were in their 60s and 70s.

Age shouldn't be a barrier. The barriers are often the barriers we put up ourselves and the fact that when you are in your 20's and 30s its easier to meet people socially just being out and about at the weekend. Often people grow out of pubbing and then they want to meet someone in other environments.

Back to that triathlon knocking shop

vodkachick68

Thankyou all for your views and advice on this. I am happy in my own company and do like certain aspects of the single life such as doing what I want when I want and having the bed to myself lol. It would just be nice to meet someone to share things with and go on holiday and meals out and just have general banter with.

I am a really sociable chatty person and easy to talk to,I just find the whole pof malarkey hard work!! Do you think it's worth joining a paying dating site? If so which ones are good...I was thinking of zoosk?

torbrex

vodkachick68 wrote: »

Thankyou all for your views and advice on this. I am happy in my own company and do like certain aspects of the single life such as doing what I want when I want and having the bed to myself lol. It would just be nice to meet someone to share things with and go on holiday and meals out and just have general banter with.

I am a really sociable chatty person and easy to talk to,I just find the whole pof malarkey hard work!! Do you think it's worth joining a paying dating site? If so which ones are good...I was thinking of zoosk?

Where were you 6 weeks ago when I was looking for someone to go to Hawaii with me?

VfM4meplse

vodkachick68 wrote: »

I am a really sociable chatty person and easy to talk to,I just find the whole pof malarkey hard work!! Do you think it's worth joining a paying dating site? If so which ones are good...I was thinking of zoosk?

Just cough up and pay for a decent website. PoF is full of low grade inarticulate surfers; I wouldn't touch Zoosk with a bargepole unless all you want is a poke.

FBaby

It's up to you whether you want to pay, but don't assume that it will mean you will find your perfect companion any easier.

You are better off signing up to 2 or 3, with 1 or 2 being more specialised, so you get both the choice by number, but also a better chance of meeting someone with more in common.

Most importantly, you need to be patient. It's easy to find anyone to spend time with, very difficult to find the right companion.