Finding Mr right.....

Gaia2014

PasturesNew wrote: »

You missed the boat. Get a cat.

Works both ways.

It's all down to feeling good about yourself and determination. It's never too late to find love. I know plenty of people in their 50's and beyond who have remarried. It may take longer, but I believe the best things come to those who wait!

Personality goes a long way as well...

Have a good day :j

missbiggles1

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

:rotfl: Well that's short and sharp:rotfl:

You can "never say never" - ie there is occasionally an example of people who've met at a VERY ripe old age and married ...so you never know...

However, from a practical pov, it does get harder as you get older. At one point it struck me that darn nearly all my boyfriends had been good-looking when I was younger but, as I got older, men I was never going to fancy in a month of Sundays started acting like they thought I was "their level" and they would have a chance with me. It may have been shallow of me - but....errrm....I just didn't fancy them and that meant I was quite happy to have them as friends (if they seemed like nice people) - but not as boyfriends.

I do think its true that, as men get older, they tend to expect that the women they date will be a LOT better-looking than they are. With that - you have to turn that round and see that that obviously means those women would be dating men a LOT less attractive than they are. I wasn't prepared to do that personally. It felt like those relationships where the man is quite happy to have a fat partner dieting their way back to a normal size - but think its perfectly okay for them to remain fat. There was a recent newspaper article re a man telling his wife he no longer fancied her - because she had got fat. I sympathised with him - until I saw that he was fat when she met him and is still fat now:cool: - but she is supposed to fancy him apparently regardless.

Anyway - long story short is that I tend to believe there comes a time when it really is by far the best thing to get on and Make A Life for yourself and figure out what sort of interests/hobbies you want to do of yourself (and not as a means to an end of meeting a man). In hindsight - I rather wish I had done exactly that a good deal sooner than I did. I may or may not have met A Man that way - but I'd have been developing myself/learning/making friends/etc anyway and I think that would have been more worth my while than deliberately keeping my eyes open for Mr Right for as long as I did in the event. I never did meet him and, by now, have noticed that some women who got together with a new man from, say, late middle age onwards seem to have been "chased" by the man with more of a potential carer in view for himself than a wife iyswim. It's one thing to find you've become a carer to a man you've been married to all your life (as you've had the good - so, if you then get the bad it sorta evens out). But to marry a man later in life and find that pretty much all you get is "the bad" is rather a different kettle of fish. A same age group friend of mine got chased determinedly by a noticeably older man and gave in and married him and, within months, found she had been turned into a carer.

I'm older than the OP but I have two friends who are in really sh!tty relationships simply because they don't think they could manage living alone. One of them has been with a partner she actively dislikes for nearly 20 years and is now facing being a carer for a man she despises.

I already have the cats (5) and the dogs (2) and when my husband passes I'm doing it on my own and not wasting the rest of my life looking for someone else!

amistupid

vodkachick68 wrote: »

So just wondering if you met your partner via a dating site or did it happen unexpectedly?

Mine was like something out of a fairy tale.


On a hot summer's day in 1997, a good for nothing toad, who a couple of years before had done the dirty on the ex Mrs Toad, was in the garden of his lodgings helping his landlord erect a gazebo for a family barbecue.

Suddenly from around the corner of the house came a beautiful Princess with her two young children. She was the landlord's divorced stepdaughter.

The toad was very taken with the Princess, she was beautiful, intelligent and witty too.

They chatted and drank lots of red wine.

That evening the toad had arranged to go to another dubious amphibian's birthday party, and much to his surprise, the Princess agreed to accompany him to the ball.

The party was great fun, yet more wine and laughter.

It had been a very long day and as midnight approached, before the wine turned him into a pumpkin, Toady called the local taxi rank for a carriage, but alas not one was free!

The Princess and Toady had to walk home, by this time Toady was as phished as a newt, several times the Princess had to guide him along the footpath.

Eventually, after much zigzagging, they safely arrived back at his digs. The Princess made strong black coffee whilst Toady went to freshen up. An hour later, when he had not returned, she went up to her room, and could hear the rude drunken Toady snoring in his bed.

The next day, a hung over Toad took the Princess and her children to the park. The children liked Toady and he liked them.

Later that day the Princess and her offspring had to return to her Doncaster castle, Toady sadly waved them good bye.

For the next couple of weeks Toady wrote to her and the Princess replied, and later they began to talk for hours on the phone.

A month or so later the Princess called Toad and told him that the royal children were away for the weekend and asked if he would like to renew his acquaintance. Dirty Toad was thrilled and immediately made for her Kingdom.

That night the Princess kissed Toady, unfortunately for her he didn't turn into a handsome prince, but he did become less warty. Despite his dodgy past, she eventually allowed him to enter her 'enchanted valley' and he's been popping in and out ever since.

They enjoyed the same things, she loved Toad in the hole as much as he did.

Unlike real fairy tales they have not always lived happily ever after but they're still together, still love each other and still giggle a lot.

VfM4meplse

^^ Aah, so romantic :heartpuls:heart::heartpuls:heartsmil:heartpuls

vodkachick68

PasturesNew wrote: »

You missed the boat. Get a cat.

Ha ha pastures new, I already have four cats!!

vodkachick68

amistupid wrote: »

Mine was like something out of a fairy tale.


On a hot summer's day in 1997, a good for nothing toad, who a couple of years before had done the dirty on the ex Mrs Toad, was in the garden of his lodgings helping his landlord erect a gazebo for a family barbecue.

Suddenly from around the corner of the house came a beautiful Princess with her two young children. She was the landlord's divorced stepdaughter.

The toad was very taken with the Princess, she was beautiful, intelligent and witty too.

They chatted and drank lots of red wine.

That evening the toad had arranged to go to another dubious amphibian's birthday party, and much to his surprise, the Princess agreed to accompany him to the ball.

The party was great fun, yet more wine and laughter.

It had been a very long day and as midnight approached, before the wine turned him into a pumpkin, Toady called the local taxi rank for a carriage, but alas not one was free!

The Princess and Toady had to walk home, by this time Toady was as phished as a newt, several times the Princess had to guide him along the footpath.

Eventually, after much zigzagging, they safely arrived back at his digs. The Princess made strong black coffee whilst Toady went to freshen up. An hour later, when he had not returned, she went up to her room, and could hear the rude drunken Toady snoring in his bed.

The next day, a hung over Toad took the Princess and her children to the park. The children liked Toady and he liked them.

Later that day the Princess and her offspring had to return to her Doncaster castle, Toady sadly waved them good bye.

For the next couple of weeks Toady wrote to her and the Princess replied, and later they began to talk for hours on the phone.

A month or so later the Princess called Toad and told him that the royal children were away for the weekend and asked if he would like to renew his acquaintance. Dirty Toad was thrilled and immediately made for her Kingdom.

That night the Princess kissed Toady, unfortunately for her he didn't turn into a handsome prince, but he did become less warty. Despite his dodgy past, she eventually allowed him to enter her 'enchanted valley' and he's been popping in and out ever since.

They enjoyed the same things, she loved Toad in the hole as much as he did.

Unlike real fairy tales they have not always lived happily ever after but they're still together, still love each other and still giggle a lot.

Aww...what a lovely story:) proves the fact that it can happen when you least expect it!! Thanks for sharing that.

Gloomendoom

OP, do you use the same username on dating sites?

VestanPance

vodkachick68 wrote: »

Ha ha pastures new, I already have four cats!!

Single status explained!

Jokes aside. I was laughing at moneyistooshorttomention's tale. Most people I've met around my age who are single and are looking to date and struggling have a rather delusional opinion of themselves.

The signs are thinking they're young for their age. They're generally not any different from most their age. Thinking they look better than their peers. They don't. A tendency to view themselves as their younger self and not admit that they aren't 25 any more, and not looking at things they now take as normal that will put others off. Like owning four cats!

They tend to have long lists of what they expect in a partner, but would struggle to match a list produced by anyone else using the same line of thought.

DigForVictory

It may boil down to hang onto the dream (& be ready to wait til you're in a coffin), or go out & hunt.

Some folk find their ideal other by being in the right place at the right time without varying their normal routine. So far, this doesn't seem to have happened.

Others think right, I'll go on a hunt. Draw up a list of Musts, shoulds & would-be-nice-ifs & set about hunting a spouse much as folk set about buying property these days - using the internet. (My autocorrect suggested abusing the internet, your mileage may vary!)

Let us face facts, the internet dating lark is leading to happy marriages of folk who met there. It also has a bunch of risks, but staying in your ways has different ones.

You can always tell your friends & family, but you might not enjoy their idea of the right one. More expensively, you can pay a matchmaking service - which would be not unlike internet dating but with more intrusive & complicated questions. Neither way has guarantees, both improve the odds.

From an MS perspective, investing time & money in yourself is a much better use of resources. Learn another language, travel, volunteer - enjoy yourself! Then if you happen to meet someone, you are in a much better place to decide if you are ready to contemplate dealing with their laundry (and other baggage) til death do you part.

moneyistooshorttomention

Those men with beer bellies and thinning hair.:rotfl:

Well they cant help the thinning hair - but the beer bellies on the other hand....hmmm....

Now remembering the boyfriend who told me initially that he thought I was "out of his league" - but then proceeded to think it was okay to keep the excess weight/the chavvy weatherbeaten teeshirts and the very odd manners. That was the time when I thought maybe I was being shallow in usually choosing good-looking boyfriends...:cool:. I decided that "If that's shallow to expect reasonable maintenance levels - then so be it....".

I did grin at an ex who put on (loads) of excess weight when the relationship was over. When he had "hopes" of trying again - it was amazing how fast that weight came straight back off again...