Should My Husband Quit His Job?

Georgiegirl256

roses wrote: »

Is it fair to ask him to leave before baby number 2 is born without a new job to go to?
.

Unless you have savings that you are willing to eat into, how on earth do you propose to support you all?

j.e.j.

peachyprice wrote: »

Money isn't the issue, her husbands well-being is.

Yes, she says financially they are 'ok', but presumably the money is going to run out at some point if at least one of them hasn't got a job.

InsideInsurance

roses wrote: »

I did mention this in my first post:

The long term career prospects are better here than where he is so it makes more sense for him to leave his job than me to leave mine.

Yes his current job is what he wants to do for the rest of his life but not at this company. They work him like a dog and he hates his boss but the projects he is working on are invaluable to his cv....

There seems to be inconsistencies... you say the job market is better here than there however there is hiring people from here because they are so short and your hubby cannot get a job here despite having been applying for over a year (since Jan 2014)

Are there other reasons other than career prospects that are the real reason for you not wanting to move there?

How many years could you afford to live with you on maternity leave for a year and then just you working afterwards without the need for state support?

roses

j.e.j. wrote: »

I don't think it's a question of willing, - you have no choice but to accept that he will need to keep doing his current job until he manages to find another one, otherwise what will you all live on?

We can cope on my salary indefinitely (just), we just won't have any savings.

I said long term career prospects are better here than there. We both want to work here then go back there for retirement.

With two children, he needs to quit at some point regardless of whether he has found a job or not. It is definitely out of the question that he is staying in his current job abroad and leaving me with two children and a full time job after my next maternity leave ends.

It's a case of when is the best time to quit: in a few months just before baby number two comes or towards the end of my maternity leave which buys him more time to look for a job while still being employed but still a risk that he will be unemployed if he hasn't found anything by the end of my maternity leave.

BWZN93

Separation is difficult, I understand better than many. We aren't really in the position to advise you, but what I would say is that after you and your husband have a frank discussion and you BOTH come to the conclusion that being together is your priority, then one of you quits work and takes the associated mental and wealth repercussions. I suggest it's not you till your maternity leave is over obviously.

My husband and I have the same conversations, I work away from home more than he does at the moment, and our conclusion is that my husband leaves our employer first and get settled, then once I've gained what I need from my employer (maternity leave and education) I will follow suit allowing the whole family to live together full time, rather than our current arrangement.

What's worth more to you? Is this (I don't mean this patronisingly) at all pregnancy/hormonally related and you'd be ok with this status quo otherwise? Is it worth putting a deadline on this; let's say 12 months, if he still doesn't have a job at home he quits?

missbiggles1

roses wrote: »

I did mention this in my first post:

The long term career prospects are better here than where he is so it makes more sense for him to leave his job than me to leave mine.



Yes his current job is what he wants to do for the rest of his life but not at this company. They work him like a dog and he hates his boss but the projects he is working on are invaluable to his cv....

I'm afraid that seems to me to a non sequitur.

roses

He can do his job in any country but the UK market is a world leader, he works in the Finance industry and is currently in a small EU country.

Is the nit picking really necessary?

Gigervamp

I agree with Peachyprice. You haven't replied to her posts yet. Is this an option?

missbiggles1

roses wrote: »

He can do his job in any country but the UK market is a world leader, he works in the Finance industry and is currently in a small EU country.

Is the nit picking really necessary?

I'm not indending to nitpick but you seem to be totally ignoring one of the most viable options. I can appreciate that it might not be your preferred route but it certainly exists and is worth considering, rather than risking a possible long period of unemployment for your husband.

belfastgirl23

Why do you think he isn't getting jobs in the UK? Is there a skills gap? Would it be easier for him to get a job in the UK if he moved back or in that industry is it easier to get a job when you're already in a job? I suppose what I'm getting at is what else could he do to make it more likely that he'd get a job in the UK? And what is your assessment of his likelihood of getting a job in the UK?

If it's likely that he will get a job and it's just holding out til the right thing comes along then clearly that's the priority at least til baby no 2 comes if you think you can cope til then.

Would you consider spending maternity leave with him again by the way? And do you have the option to extend it or to take an added career break? That would extend it probably about 18 months from now.

But whatever way you look at things, you returning to work is definitely a make or break moment. I think that would be my final negotiating position, that when you go back to work he needs to be back in the UK. Two kids and a full time job on your own is just too much to ask. You've done it with one for a couple of years - you've kept your end of the bargain. Time for him to make some sacrifices if necessary. And knowing that there is an end date might well help you to cope in the meantime, because one child and a full time job is a lot to cope with, never mind when you're pregnant


By the way, what does he think about all this? It would concern me more than anything if he wasn't seeing that this is an awful lot to ask of your wife. I have presumed here that he really wants to move to the UK and isn't just biding his time til you give up and go live with him