Should My Husband Quit His Job?

gettingtheresometime

Can't he put your UK address on any application forms?

peachyprice

WestonDave wrote: »

I'm not looking to take sides here but is it possible that one reason he isn't getting beyond application stage is that prospective employers are looking at his current overseas address and rejecting on that basis? If they don't realise his local connections they may just think its a speculative thing so he needs to make clear in his covering letters that he is relocating back to the UK where his wife and young family are so employers realise he is seriously wanting to be here. Normally you'd leave stuff like that about family out of an application but here there may be a benefit in giving some more info.

Very good point. I should think there are a lot of perspective employers who wouldn't want to get into the possibility of the whole negotiating a relocation package or waiting for a new employee to relocate when they have the pick of people already here.

missbiggles1

peachyprice wrote: »

There's no difference really is there.

If OP uproots the family, gives up her job and moves abroad to join her husband they'll still be reducing their family income by one full time wage and risking long-term unemployment for her instead of him.

I wonder why OP's job perceived as 'less valuable' than her husbands?

As a feminist, I certainly don't think that.:eek:

As I've said several times, it just seems to be an option that isn't being considered.

roses

missbiggles1 wrote: »

As a feminist, I certainly don't think that.:eek:

As I've said several times, it just seems to be an option that isn't being considered.

I've already answered your question (several times) so I don't understand why you keep posting the same comment?

Yes I'd be living with the inlaws on maternity leave (again) hence my reference to "living out of a suitcase".

He is putting the Uk address on applications although when called, he does have to say he is abroad. He also had UK on his linkedin profile but his boss asked him why and he had to change it to the actual location.

egoode

From experience it is really hard to look for a job while living abroad. My friends who have wanted to move home have always needed to quit their jobs first and move home before they found another job.
If you plan in advance to ensure you have a good cushion of cash while he is looking for work then this shouldn't be a problem. It sounds like he's worked in the UK before did he keep in contact with his old work colleagues and is he using those contacts to find work? That would be the best way to find a job in Finance back in the UK.

lostinrates

egoode wrote: »

From experience it is really hard to look for a job while living abroad. My friends who have wanted to move home have always needed to quit their jobs first and move home before they found another job.
If you plan in advance to ensure you have a good cushion of cash while he is looking for work then this shouldn't be a problem. It sounds like he's worked in the UK before did he keep in contact with his old work colleagues and is he using those contacts to find work? That would be the best way to find a job in Finance back in the UK.

And yet, in my family and social circle its the more normal way to do things. DH did it some years ago, has very briefly considered it over last few years, and is being approached by overseas offers again now. ( it was funny when they started approaching him)

Depending what area of finance he's going for overseas applications won't be that unusual, nor the situation of families caught divided over borders by careers.

Uk is certainly showing growth, :)but I'd caution thinking things are tremendously rosy in all areas of finance sector here for employment. And a cv gap is going to be awkward to explain in a tough market.

I'm afraid with children, despite the emotional and practical difficulties, I'd be extremely cautious about giving up a secure income. If he's got a foot in the door somewhere international I'd be using that as his launch pad either through there or via recruitment steps and networking.

Reggie_Rebel

Looks like you need a bit of compromise here and to decide what is more important to you.

1 - Family
2 - His job
3 - Your job.

It it's 1 then I would say that you need to investigate fully the options of one of you giving up your work and becoming the family support.

Pricivius

From what you have posted, OP, and please correct me if I have read this wrong, but you and OH appear to be quite risk-averse people. You have expressed your own sensitivities to living "out of a suitcase" and your OH's previous difficulties being unemployed. With this in mind, quitting his job, throwing caution to the wind and choosing unemployment seems a bad idea...

For some people, it would not be a problem. A member of my family married a man whose job took him all over, often away from her for long periods of time. In fairness, she knew this when she married him, but it meant that their first child had lived in two countries and in three different states within one of those countries by the time he was 2. They lived on their own, with dad, with the in-laws and with her parents, as well as on a cruise ship for over a month! She treated it as a big adventure and her son learned that wherever he laid his hat was his home. This continued when 2 and 3 came along - crossing the Atlantic on your own with three kids under 6 is challenging, but she did it several times!

But OP and OH are different and I would be worried about the potential to spiral down mentally if OH didn't find a job quickly. Money isn't everything, but without it, every day struggles become so much harder and tension grows. Not working means days stretch out with far too much thinking time to drag you down...

I suggest OH redoubles efforts, goes back through his contacts, gets the feelers out there, calls some niche agencies (if relevant in this field) etc... But I appreciate it's a tough situation and there is no right answer.

roses

Reggie_Rebel wrote: »

Looks like you need a bit of compromise here and to decide what is more important to you.

1 - Family
2 - His job
3 - Your job.

It it's 1 then I would say that you need to investigate fully the options of one of you giving up your work and becoming the family support.

Why would one of us need to give up work? We can both work, it just means a period of unemployment for one of us or stay apart until one of us gets a job offer where the other lives (bearing in mind we have been apart coming up to 4 years now).

lostinrates

roses wrote: »

Why would one of us need to give up work? We can both work, it just means a period of unemployment for one of us or stay apart until one of us gets a job offer where the other lives (bearing in mind we have been apart coming up to 4 years now).

Of course.

The question remains why it should be him.

For four years he's been trying to get work unsuccessfully in UK and yet has a job where he is. Could you get a job there? As you plan to settle there eventually could that not be a plan forwarded to now, so you build a home and life there, as your preferred plan A is not working for you?

I think if you know something has to give you are probably right, that so etching does indeed have to give. It might not be the something in your preferred option though....because life is a pain like that. That doesn't mean it doesn't all work out fantastically though. .