Should My Husband Quit His Job?

Golfcat

missbiggles1 wrote: »

I'm not indending to nitpick but you seem to be totally ignoring one of the most viable options. I can appreciate that it might not be your preferred route but it certainly exists and is worth considering, rather than risking a possible long period of unemployment for your husband.

But it could lead to a long period of unemployment for herself instead?

roses

Exactly, we both work full time. I wasn't ignoring your comment, I already wrote in my original post it makes more sense for him to leave his job than for me to leave mine (and we have agreed this).

We are just trying to decide when the best time for him to quit should be which was the intent of this thread.

missbiggles1

Golfcat wrote: »

But it could lead to a long period of unemployment for herself instead?

Of course it could. I'm not saying that it's the way forward but it's certainly a way forward and, as such, should be considered.

(Although, righly or wrongly, employers are likely to be more understanding of a woman who's taken a couple of years out when her children are very young than they are of a chap who's just chucked his job in when he has a young family.)

bylromarha

I think you're asking on here as you want people to say yes he should quit now and agree with you as you've reached a stalemate.

What does OH think? As it's really only you 2 who can decide this.

Put all the options out there and weigh up the pros and cons of each. And together act upon what you have decided together.

peachyprice

missbiggles1 wrote: »

You don't seem to have considered leaving your job and having the whole family live abroad - surely that's an option?

missbiggles1 wrote: »

I'm not indending to nitpick but you seem to be totally ignoring one of the most viable options. I can appreciate that it might not be your preferred route but it certainly exists and is worth considering, rather than risking a possible long period of unemployment for your husband.

There's no difference really is there.

If OP uproots the family, gives up her job and moves abroad to join her husband they'll still be reducing their family income by one full time wage and risking long-term unemployment for her instead of him.

I wonder why OP's job perceived as 'less valuable' than her husbands?

FBaby

Is he really applying to every jobs available? I do find it strange that if he has now gained 4 years worth of valuable experience and that the market in the UK is best, why is it that he still hasn't been offered a job? Is he aspiring for positions too high for his experience? Is he limiting himself geographically (ie, within 10 miles of your home), or is he only looking at job offered once a month? Or maybe he needs help with tayloring his CV/working on interviewing skills.

WestonDave

I'm not looking to take sides here but is it possible that one reason he isn't getting beyond application stage is that prospective employers are looking at his current overseas address and rejecting on that basis? If they don't realise his local connections they may just think its a speculative thing so he needs to make clear in his covering letters that he is relocating back to the UK where his wife and young family are so employers realise he is seriously wanting to be here. Normally you'd leave stuff like that about family out of an application but here there may be a benefit in giving some more info.

roses

bylromarha wrote: »

I think you're asking on here as you want people to say yes he should quit now and agree with you as you've reached a stalemate.

Honestly, we are really torn between the two options. This is assuming he quits without a job to go to (although he is actively job hunting):

1) He quits at Christmas and comes here before the birth & we start our new life as a family together in our house or

2) I go join him for half my maternity leave next year. He quits in the summer 2016 and we come back together after he has gained a further 6 months experience on the cv and job security. But we continue living out of a suitcase for these 6 months inbetween houses and with two young children.

WestonDave wrote: »

I'm not looking to take sides here but is it possible that one reason he isn't getting beyond application stage is that prospective employers are looking at his current overseas address and rejecting on that basis?

Quite possibly, yes. He is always clear on his application that he is relocating back due to family reasons but you can never be sure whether employers have been burnt in the past to take time to interview and make offers to people who live abroad then they decline as they are not committed to moving...

justme111

You have time to decide. No need to tie yourself in a knot about it now. Very likely situation is going to change enough to facilitate the decision before Christmas

Spendless

roses wrote: »

2) I go join him for half my maternity leave next year. He quits in the summer 2016 and we come back together after he has gained a further 6 months experience on the cv and job security. But we continue living out of a suitcase for these 6 months inbetween houses and with two young children.

Could you explain more about 'living out of a suitcase'? That to me seemed the more viable option, you lived as a family whilst you were on maternity with the benefit of your husbands f-time wage coming in, he keeps applying for jobs in the interim and if not successful by the time your maternity leave is ending, he quits and returns with you takes over the childcare and household for now and continues to job search whilst you become the sole breadwinner.

Where would you live if you went out to him, is it in a hotel, a rented flat/house or with your ILs?