Should My Husband Quit His Job?

roses

lostinrates wrote: »

The question remains why it should be him.

He doesn't want to stay at his current company. He works 50+ hours a week and doesn't like his boss, that's why

Pricivius wrote: »

From what you have posted, OP, and please correct me if I have read this wrong, but you and OH appear to be quite risk-averse people. You have expressed your own sensitivities to living "out of a suitcase" and your OH's previous difficulties being unemployed. With this in mind, quitting his job, throwing caution to the wind and choosing unemployment seems a bad idea...

But OP and OH are different and I would be worried about the potential to spiral down mentally if OH didn't find a job quickly. Money isn't everything, but without it, every day struggles become so much harder and tension grows. Not working means days stretch out with far too much thinking time to drag you down...

Yes that is so true, hence the dilemma. There is also the potential to spiral down mentally if we continue being apart. It is not just me and DH, there is also DS who asks for his dad every day.

lostinrates

roses wrote: »

He doesn't want to stay at his current company. He works 50+ hours a week and doesn't like his boss, that's why



Yes that is so true, hence the dilemma.

Does he expect better conditions in London? Depending what area of finance he works in he might find he goes from the frying pan to the fire.

If he doesn't like his boss I would certainly think of looking for another job, in all locations however. My husband has recently left a job where his work conditions were not pleasant because of senior staff and its improved his life considerably. However, its involved sacrifice in other ways to do so, and you come across dreadful people in power in very many places unfortunately. He stayed in his situation for some five years before moving. I'm glad he didn't move sooner for him career wise, and I think he learned a lot. It was an incredibly difficult time though, and like you, we were apart for a lot of it which made it difficult and more expensive.

Good luck whatever your resolve. Fundamentally what I would say is there is NO right answer here. Just the resolve that works best for You all. That might be very different from what other posters here, me and everyone else, might opt for.

bylromarha

roses wrote: »

Honestly, we are really torn between the two options. This is assuming he quits without a job to go to (although he is actively job hunting):

1) He quits at Christmas and comes here before the birth & we start our new life as a family together in our house or

2) I go join him for half my maternity leave next year. He quits in the summer 2016 and we come back together after he has gained a further 6 months experience on the cv and job security. But we continue living out of a suitcase for these 6 months inbetween houses and with two young children.

So the thread should be renamed "WHEN should my husband quit his job?", yes?

If these were the options, I'd go for 1 - but that's because OH and I would cope better with that, rather than living out of a suitcase with 2 young kids AND in laws AND knowing that he was going to have to live hell job for another 6 months with the sleepless nights of a newborn AND knowing I wouldn't have coped well with the years of seperation already happened AND knowing that would be 6 more months of DS without dad about.

How about you and your OH - what would you cope best with?

Not knowing your employment field well, do more companies look to recruit in Jan/Feb or in Sept? As he needs to be based in the UK leading up to the prime recruitment season.

He still has a few months to look for a job, so this could all be a pointless discussion, but personally we'd jump sooner rather than later.

peachyprice

bylromarha wrote: »

If these were the options, I'd go for 1 - but that's because OH and I would cope better with that, rather than living out of a suitcase with 2 young kids AND in laws AND knowing that he was going to have to live hell job for another 6 months with the sleepless nights of a newborn AND knowing I wouldn't have coped well with the years of seperation already happened AND knowing that would be 6 more months of DS without dad about.

You and me, both.

Gigglepig

Slightly different idea OP: if he works in an EU country he may have the right to paternity or shared parental leave under that country's rules, if you return to work. If you took leave last time, perhaps it is his turn now. This would enable him to job search in the UK without a gap in his CV, you could live together as a family, he would get some more time with the children, and it may help your career if you don't take another year out.


ETA - when deciding which country to live in I'd also consider other aspects of raising a family, for example cost and quality of nurseries etc. Childcare for two children in the UK could be a fortune. Might make a big difference.