Here we can all be heard for a little while

Georgiegirl256

Hugs to all who need them and welcome new people! X x

Flybaby

Thanks all for the discreet birthday wishes. {squishes} I managed to persuade hubby to go to pub quiz night as usual and had a nice unpressured evening flopping on the sofa with the tv.


It did amuse me that everyone was trying to persuade me to go to the pub quiz with hubby because it is my birthday - I don't go on a normal week because I don't like it - so why would I want to do it for my birthday? Do people really find it that hard to understand that someone might possibly not enjoy the same activities as them?


I find socialising difficult anyway, I don't like the pub quiz as it is all very current questions which I can't answer as I don't watch the news or read magazines about celebrities, add to that uncomfortable seating for hours on end and ..........basically.....I don't really like drunk people - so all in all the pub quiz is my idea of a nightmare, even if all the people involved are my friends and nice people. Very occasionally I go, just to be sociable for hubbys sake and I normally take nail polish or suduko to stave off the boredom.

Pyxis

Georgie! Hi! Great to see you!

Pretend you're someone else. Tell yourself a little story about who you are........bright, outgoing, confident........pretend you're on a stage acting the part of this person. Have a little practice by going to a shop and speaking to the assistants as this pretend person. It can be quite easy and empowering. Easy to keep up for short periods of time!

Try to get to the place earlyish. That way, you won't be entering a room full of people with all eyes turning towards you. Also, you can then see who is arriving and manoeuvre yourself accordingly!

You try to be the one to make the first greeting, with the 'tell me what you've been up to!" Stops them asking you!

These people at the wedding, are you likely to see them again soon?
If not, just act your way through it! Any questions they ask, just give them the answers they want to hear, or bland, non-committal but cheery ones. No need to go into any details!

Pretend you're at a job interview. Keep smiling. Turn disasters in your life into 'opportunities', along the lines of a few months off work due to feeling carp could become a sabbatical for reviewing your options!

You could thwart any attempts to ask you difficult questions by you being the one to do the asking of them. That will have two effects.......it will stop them asking you stuff, and make them feel important to you, so they will warm to you!
Make a beeline for people you don't know and ask them about themselves. They may be feeling awkward if they don't know many people and will act as a shield between you and the others.

Don't refer to your weight at all. Just keep smiling!

Make sure you wear a stunning outfit, get made up etc., even if you don't usually. Could you stretch to having a facial, nails, hair done for the event, to make you feel good?

Try not to drink too much alcohol, especially if it can make you maudlin.


Have some sort of pampery treat waiting for you at home.
If you feel very awkward, would there be the chance for you to leave early?

mellymoo74

I agree with pyxis Georgie

Flybaby people have this obsession with needing to go out for birthdays and stuff it's our wedding anniversary tomorrow and we.wont be going out both too knackered

Pyxis

For the last four years I've just wanted to forget my birthday, as it's a horrid reminder of what I don't have, (nothing to do with age or getting older lol!)

So I always refuse to tell people when it is!




Nearly came a cropper a couple of months ago when someone at AmDram was talking about birthstones, and I made the mistake of blurting out what mine was. She immediately said the month! Aaaaargh! Silly me!
I think she's forgotten about it now! Phew!

Georgiegirl256

Pyxis wrote: »

Georgie! Hi! Great to see you!

Pretend you're someone else. Tell yourself a little story about who you are........bright, outgoing, confident........

Thanks Pyxis

This is the person I used to be before the events of the last few years have just gradually beat me down (Uncle took his own life, Mam in hospital for a major Operation, Mam had two hearts attacks, Dad became ill with Cancer and then of course losing him in December)and the bright outgoing confident girl is no more. I will try and do what you say and act like I still am as that's how they probably still remember me.

You try to be the one to make the first greeting, with the 'tell me what you've been up to!" Stops them asking you!

Don't know if I can, but I'll try! The reason being, I don't really like them, and one in particular I really can't stand, but I'll try! :rotfl:

These people at the wedding, are you likely to see them again soon?

Possibly. Probably. They're DH brothers and partners. So it's MIL 80's coming up soon (and she had a 70th party) and then of course Christmas. But this Christmas the last thing I'll want to do is socialise (Dad's anniversary on the 29th), so if I can get out of it I will!

Don't refer to your weight at all. Just keep smiling!

I won't be mentioning it! Just DH middle brother is loud and cocky, and I bet he says something. Even though I've lost a lot of confidence recently, I've still got a sharp tongue and a quick wit, and will have to do my best not to bite back at him.

Make sure you wear a stunning outfit, get made up etc., even if you don't usually. Could you stretch to having a facial, nails, hair done for the event, to make you feel good?

Got outfit sorted. Dying hair tomorrow night (burgundy red), hate going to hairdressers or beauty salons, so I'll just do my own.

Try not to drink too much alcohol, especially if it can make you maudlin.

Doesn't make me maudlin. Makes me say what I'm really thinking though! :rotfl:


Have some sort of pampery treat waiting for you at home.
If you feel very awkward, would there be the chance for you to leave early?

Thanks for the advice Pyxis, much appreciated! No doubt we'll be leaving early, DH doesn't want to go anymore than I do. They're his brothers and they're like strangers, it's very weird. When they're all in a room together, it's like they've just met for the first time, the conversation is so stilted.

Birdie85

Georgie, I was just thinking I haven't seen you for a bit! Pyxis has great advice, I'd do all that! Definitely get people talking about themselves to deflect away from yourself. There's usually a quiet room or 2 at a wedding (assuming it's in a hotel?) where you can nip off to for some peace and quiet whenever you need to get away, or the garden if it's nice!

Birdie85

If someone does mention your weight, turn it into a positive, like 'Oh, I used to be such a stick, I'm loving my curves now!'

mummyroysof3

What was I saying about being clumsy...just helped hubby unpack a loft ladder and got a bruise on my hand lol

System

Katy- im feeling better though am currently annoyed as ive been woken up by housemates demon spawn, sorry child..yet again. I'm now keeping a log of when the kid is here and if he wakes me up and if this continues im complaining to my landlord. :mad: I asked housemate politely if he could keep the noise down and his response was "we are just leaving now". No apology...

Also I inderstand your concerns about the wedding. I'm about 7(!!) stow. Heavier than when I last saw my cousins and Grandma and im dreading my cousins wedding for similar reasons (and cos my Grandma is very blunt and known for saying stuff like it is-my mum and dad are always getting comments about their weight). I'm trying to lose weight but even if I do im not going to lose it all by then. My strategy is give them something else to focus on and make sure I feel good in what I'm wearing.