Here we can all be heard for a little while

dragonette

I don't see how they think their approach is backed up by any evidence, the Ombudsman will look at the evidence and be very confused by the HA's position! Are there any other HAs in the area you could apply to? I know coverage can vary hugely. Or council housing?

I suspect its a mixture of lighting and I'm sitting down more at night than during the day and generally my mood being lower when I'm tired and sore. I will concentrate on my bedroom tomorrow, in the hopes it stops making me sad at bedtime. There is also the possibility that being in a loving relationship with someone whose primary connection is his wife is highlighted at bedtime - as I get into my bed alone (apart from cats). I'm almost perfectly content with the set up otherwise.

As for my others, I think they are happy to wait atm. We share the same limited pool of energy, and M.E. doesn't react kindly to lots of mental exertion.

System

No idea why but had a bad night last night, had a panic attacks and bad thoughts. Took a double dose of meds (still within safe limits) to try and calm me down. Lasted an hour at work and it got too much, just couldn't cope with people (customers or staff) my manager let me go home.

Still not feeling great, honestly don't know what has brought this on. Just feelings of uselessness and thinking people would be bette off without me. which I know is stupid. My manager told me I'm one of the nicest kindest people she's ever met and that she'd be lost without me. And Swain kind of ended up telling me he hoped one day we'd have our own place and he could be with me everyday to make sure I'm ok. So I have no reason to feel like this. Gonna try and sort out a doctors appointment. Still undecided if I'm going into work tomorrow, if I'm not up to it Id rather they have chance to arrange cover than me go in not cope and they be a person down. Will see how I feel, have to call before 12 to let them know.

What is wrong with me? why do I feel like this when there is no logical reason to feel this way?

Wellyboots6

Little Sod is fine Melly, he got himself a girlfriend at the park, even let her share his ball which is unheard of!
Baby could be any position now, it's been like a washing machine in there all evening.
Your neighbours must have so much spare time and energy to put in to hassling you, if you were feeling forgiving you could almost feel sorry for them having nothing more exciting in their lives to focus on.

Dragonette, I get like that with our house. It is usually when I am coming out of an anxious phase, when I start noticing things around me again rather than being stuck in my own head.

It must have been the night for it last night MU. I had a lovely evening out with friends but when I got in to bed just totally broke down in tears. Dozed off but then woke to a panic attack. Woke up feeling upset this morning but had a good day in the end. Then just had another panic attack a little while ago.

I think there is often no logic to the way you feel. It makes me feel worse trying to find a reason for it sometimes as I then start to beat myself up for being daft.

Waves_and_Smiles

Aw, gentle hugs, MU. A chemical blip. maybe? I know my chemicals sometimes go haywire for no discernible reason at all. A doctors appointment is a good idea, even just to keep your GP in the loop. Don't push yourself to go to work if you still feel shaky, better you have a day off tomorrow than a few days off if you push yourself too hard.

Can you do some comforting things for yourself? Maybe a bath with your candles? If the bad thoughts pop up would background music or other sound help? Something to concentrate on? Audio books sometimes work for me as a distraction. I will be here on and off for hours and keep checking back to see if you have posted, please do talk if you would think it will help. Have another hug.

dragonette

Hugs for MU and Katy, sometimes random bad days happen. It sucks when they do but it's not necessarily a sign of a bigger tend.

I've been proactive - and found a light I want for my bedroom. The room is a (supposedly) classy cream and light blues. So I want a colour changing light! Is the diffuse light I want, but if it happens to be funky colours too... Can't resist! Is this one http://www.philips.co.uk/c-p/7001831PU/livingcolors-table-lamp

I also ordered a new walking stick tonight. Atm, I need my stick when I go out. It's means I use less energy while walking, so I can do more. Partly sensible and partly avoiding pain. Will need to try really hard to not get in the habit of buying things tho, don't need money stress too

System

Currently watching the wrestling which is helping distract me.

Trying to be kind to myself, even at time I'm my biggest enemy. I'm currently worrying about what people at work think of me. One of them caught me crying, she asked what was wrong, my response was "it's complicated" another when I was leaving asked me if I wanson ky break I said "no im I'll im going home" and then she ignored me. My managers know about the bipolar and know what effect IT has on me but I don't want to have to explain to everyone my personal reasons but at the same time I don't want people hating me cos I went home.

Not feeling great though as I said have distractions. I may take tomorrow off. Just for an extra day to try and recover and get back on track.

Pyxis

Have a good rest, MU!

There's usually no reason why the Black Dog strikes, other than the fact that brain chemistry goes awry. That's what makes it so hard for others to understand!

It's best to think of it as 'flu of the brain'. We all understand what feeling ill with flu, or similar, is like. Flu makes your body feel sh* tty, and 'flu of the brain' makes your mind feel sh*tty!


Reactive depression, even if it's severe, is easy to explain and understand.


Sounds like Swain understands, and your boss understands, and that's all that matters. Don't feel you have to explain to your colleagues; only do so if you really, really want to, but yes, it may change how they perceive you, particularly if they're ignorant of MH conditions.

Sounds like you're the best worker in the bunch anyway! I couldn't believe that two of your colleagues would actually turn round and say that they don't want to do a task they've been specifically asked to do! Because it involves a little bit of physical effort! Spoilt brats!

And what is your firm thinking of, taking on another person who obviously isn't numerate, to do a job that involves taking money!

You're picking up the pieces for this dead wood, and are obviously a highly valued member of staff! You deserve to have your own branch one day!

mellymoo74

got some news from a neighbour over the weekend
apparently housing has gone bust and will be taken over by council.........

heartbreak_star

Morning everyone!

Catching up on the thread from the weekend - sounds like it's been a bit of a rollercoaster for Team WaS...hugs and handshakes and big goofy smiles and biscuits to you all.

I am a bit tired and my hips hurt today - but my lovely cheerios did their sponsored walk yesterday...7.5 miles! I am such a proud lady!

(And those who couldn't make it said they'd put in some dosh on GoFundMe!! YAY!)

HBS x

Flybaby

Morning, {squishes} to all who need.
MIL visit at the weekend went well, she is hard work as she is soooooooooo "self sacrificing" and at times I want to slap her, but it all went ok and she wasn't rude about anything too badly, so a successful weekend was had and we got a good half of the new path laid in the garden despite rain on Sunday.