NST June – Just Keep Jousting!

Bobarella

Fmess - if it's any help I think it's completely normal to feel like that when you spend any length of time alone. Although I've not lived alone in a long time I have done it. In more recent years I've certainly felt very lonely when I was off work first with a small baby, when I was made redundant & took a year off to start my business and later when my business was closed for 6 months. The only thing I found worked for me was getting out of the house. Either walking with the pram, going out for a quick coffee or to run an errand, anything that meant I wasn't just sat for hours on end. I think it's being still for too long that gives you too much time to think. Anyway sorry you feel that way but you aren't really alone in the sense we can all feel the way you do.

Bobarella

Tyaca- I don't see why you can't join in..sounds a sensible goal as well. Good luck

Mothernerd - do you think the big activity session the other day has made you feel worn out?

Fmess

Bobarella wrote: »

Fmess - if it's any help I think it's completely normal to feel like that when you spend any length of time alone. Although I've not lived alone in a long time I have done it. In more recent years I've certainly felt very lonely when I was off work first with a small baby, when I was made redundant & took a year off to start my business and later when my business was closed for 6 months. The only thing I found worked for me was getting out of the house. Either walking with the pram, going out for a quick coffee or to run an errand, anything that meant I wasn't just sat for hours on end. I think it's being still for too long that gives you too much time to think. Anyway sorry you feel that way but you aren't really alone in the sense we can all feel the way you do.

Thanks bob, I think you are completely right and it was the combination of marking all day, the poor weather meaning I didn't go out much and I'm still getting used to living alone.

Today will be more marking but I also need to mow the lawn and walk the dogs and the go visit my family for Father's Day.

Hope you all have a lovely Father's Day

apple_muncher

Starting my grateful list early today...!

Today I am grateful for the marvel of how the human body mends itself having had a rotten tummy bug since Friday, for at least being able to drink some coffee(!), for my gorgeous dd (7) sorting herself out much more than usual as I couldn't do it, for the resorative powers of sleep, for tennis in the background - v nice legs!

apple_muncher

Fmess, I think there is a huge contrast between the amount of human contact you have in the week, and at the weekend. And as you say, grieving is normal, and it hasn't been very long at all. You are coping remarkably well with the stresses and strains of what has happened. Hang in there chuck, all will be well xx

abundant1972

Hugs Fmess

I once did some bereavement training - and much of it applies to any loss... They said, when you suffer a loss - it dominates your life - your thoughts and feelings - imagine a large black circle. However - life moves on as it must... The loss is still there - and if you sit and think about it - you can feel it like it was yesterday. However - as time goes on, you build new experiences around this circle... and whilst the loss remains - it seems to shrink because there's new things growing in your life.

Like other folk have said - grief is totally normal. I feel you'd do yourself more harm by trying not to grieve. In the past, I've even got out photos - looked at the person, and remembered all the good - and not so good... even journalling how I felt - getting it out there. It's painful, and tears will flow - but that can be healing. Time plays funny tricks on us and we can look back on events with rose tinted glasses sometimes - so remembering that it went wrong for a reason can help in the weeks and months to follow.

It's one of those situations where you can't see the wood for the trees right now... but this ending - the closing of that door - has freed you up, and as you release your partner - you create new fertile ground. Grieve - and enjoy being 'alone' - giving yourself time to get to know who you are again - and what's important to you. There's a new chapter just around the corner, and you are the writer whenever you feel ready to pick up the pen. But... give your partner and that relationship a meaningful send off - and acknowledge what you wish to carry forward from it...

Hugs again xxx

abundant1972

Yesterday ended up being a Spend Day after all with my friend... but today I'm claiming SFD number 11. I have enough food in to last me until the end of this month, and so I have to be firm now and keep all the rest as SFD's to reach my target.

Enjoy your Sunday everyone

Bobarella

Beautifully written Abundant. You speak a lot of sense.

WelshKitty85

Hi everyone!

Fmess sending lots of hugs.

Abundant what a thoughtful post. I'm sure lots of people can relate to it.

Sorry again, I've been really rubbish at posting this week! Life stuff has got the better of me today and I'm feeling really low. I think it's a combination of post-holiday blues, upping my hours at work (in a job I no longer enjoy), worrying about funding my masters, trying to set up a business, and just life in general. Have been out for a walk in the hope that would help, but it has just left me feeling drained. Dinner is cooking and I need to sort uniforms, homework and lunches for tomorrow, but I am hoping I can squeeze in a bit of me time this evening and maybe slap on a face mask and give my feet a good soak.

Last 2 days have been spend days as I have topped up on meat from the butcher and done weekly shop. I only have pennies left in this months grocery budget and will need to buy some bits in next week. However, the £20 for butchers was actually leftovers form holiday spends. So not sure whether to transfer this across to give me £20 for essentials next week, or whether to start next months budget next week (as that's when most of it will be used).

Have been reading about muscle foods and have seen an offer they are doing on big bundles of meat. Has anyone tried them?

academiablues

Hi turtles! So very tired today as I was out last night with friends, so not much energy to do anything other than wave from the sidelines today. Spendy days both today and yesterday, hoping to get five NSDs in during the week this week though hope everyone has had a good weekend.