when you say you don't want anything, do you mean it?

Georgiegirl256

zarf2007 wrote: »

So if you asked your boyfriend/husband "How do I look" you'd be happy with an honest answer? show me a woman who would and I'd marry her.....

Sorry love I'm already married!

An honest answer to your question is yes, I'd be happy with an honest answer, and would expect nothing less off him. He's not the kind of bloke to lie just for an easy life. If he's got something to say he'll say it. Politely of course, he won't just come out with something blunt and straight to the point like "those trousers are bloody awful, your a*rse looks huge in them!" but he'll always be honest.

I'd prefer to know if people thought I didn't look good in something. What's the point in asking if you're not prepared for an honest answer?

74jax

lostinrates wrote: »

I prefer no gifts for occasions. I feel exactly this about stuff. A gift seen and offered because its ideal for me, and given on a random day with love, is much more precious than something that's ok on my birthday.

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I agree, which i think is why i'm finding it hard. For eeg I bought him a personalised plate for no reason really, just i knew he'd love it and was about his hobby, but maybe I should I have kept it for an occasion and then i wouldn't be in this predicament :rotfl:

74jax

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

Politely of course, he won't just come out with something blunt and straight to the point like "those trousers are bloody awful, your a*rse looks huge in them!" but he'll always be honest.

:rotfl:I'm laughing as i'm sure my hubby has said those words to me.................. :eek:

enjoyyourshoes

74jax wrote: »

It's not debt, probably the opposite. We have done so much, I had a wish list for my 40th which was Christmas and we did loads for that. Plus if he wants something he buys it. He earns four times me, so where I need to save to take him away for a week etc, he would just buy it.

We have had the discussion, hence I'm asking do people really mean it, as I feel bad. We spoil each other normally. But I think I have to put that to one side.

Could open a S & S ISA in his name


or start a S & S SIPP (self investing personal pension)


may float his boat instead of gifts

74jax

enjoyyourshoes wrote: »

Could open a S & S ISA in his name


or start a S & S SIPP (self investing personal pension)


may float his boat instead of gifts

He would have done all his entitlement for his ISA for this year in April I'm sure.

He already has a pension, he has an independant financial guy who deals with all his money, tbh my 1k present wouldn't make much difference to his holdings, which is why we tend to have 'experiences' rather an actual 'thing' as he has most things.

i get the idea from here though that people do genuinely mean 'nothing' when they say it. I have about 8 weeks to get used to the idea, it just seems a shame but that is MY opinion, not his. It is exactly what he wants and it is his birthday after all.

chiefie

Most blokes (me included) have no Imagination and it's too hard to think of something, the best thing to get him is some quality time doing what he loves or an experience he wouldn't otherwise have done.

pollypenny

I hate it when OH asks me want I want. I want him to know what I'd like and this Christmas he did manage it ( a lovely Welsh gold necklace).

For his 60th we went to Dublin for the rugby, with a crowd, and I bought him 'an experience'. He chose a flight over London in a old plane, necessitating a trip diwn to Duxford RAF Museum.

Why not something that you're OH would never think of, but enjoy, like a day's falconry or driving a tank?

VestanPance

For my 40th I didn't want anyone to acknowledge it, mention it, give me anything etc. I would have been very annoyed had someone done something for it against my wishes.

Treated every birthday since the same way.

DUKE

When my husband says he doesn't want anything this usually means that he has something very expensive in mind for himself, but he just hasn't told me yet.

When I say I don't want anything, I mean that I don't want anything material, but I do want a holiday.

Ask him why he doesn't want anything. Perhaps he could be going through the fear of being 40 & is trying to ignore it.

Lunar_Eclipse

74jax wrote: »

And that he has nothing he wants.

I think he's saying there is nothing specific that he can think of that he wants. And yes, I have said that and meant it in the past.

BUT, this absolutely doesn't mean ignore it's my birthday. I would be very upset about that.

I would like the day acknowledged and to enjoy the day doing whatever it is you'd enjoy: a trip to the local patisserie with a walk on a lovely beach, a meal at a top London restaurant followed by the theatre. I would love both of these things and so in your situation, I would be thinking along these lines in terms of something he would enjoy.

I didn't get anything monumental for my 40th, but I did get 40 bars of my favourite chocolate layed out spelling '40' on the lounge floor, plus another personal gift to me which involved DH giving up his time, e.g.: washing my car every week for the next year (that's an example, not the actual gift.)