Divorcing the debt and the fella.

themarsbargirl

You do know that you are allowed to jobsearch on ESA if you wish to? And just sign off ESA if you get a job....
It's totally your choice (your life) I just wonder if it would be less stress for you, although I imagine it'll be a bit better once they've changed you jobcentre to the closer one.
xxxx

NotNormal

themarsbargirl wrote: »

Hi huni,

You have my sympathies with JSA offices. This is my first time claiming (although I am claiming ESA due to my mental illness) and today I popped to my home (staying at Mum and Dad's as I require full time care) to discover a letter from them saying I had an appointment in 2 hours time! Cue mega stress, but because Dad was with me he helped....all they wanted to do was check if there was anything they could do or put into place to help me while I waited for my assessment.

I apologise in advance for how this sounds, but reading your posts and the things that you find so difficult would it not be better for you to go onto ESA rather than JSA? At least until things settle down, I mean, in all honesty, how would you cope with a new job right now? Could your anxiety cope with the interviews? (I'm asking this because my biggest issue with being unable to work is that I couldn't cope with interviews, or new work collegues, or the rejection if I didn't get a job)

Definitely get yourself referred to the local CMHT asap huni, waiting times are horrendous (at least in my area). Were you under CMHT before you moved? Did you ask them to move you to your new CMHT area?

Hope you get some sleep tonight, I'm also having difficulty sleeping and I know how frustrating it can be.

Much Love,
Ruth

Thank you, it really means so much that you took the time to read my ramblings. I am considering going back on ESA. I think my biggest issue that stops me is I feel like doing it makes everyone assume you don't want to work. But in reality I feel like I'm not putting my best foot forward. When I was applying for jobs on my own terms I would find jobs I liked and then tweak my CV to show how previous jobs reflected what they were looking for. I would tweak my cover letter to make sure it was more personal to them, but covering the same point of "I don't have much experience time wise, but trust me I'm a quick learner. Give me a chance!". On JSA they don't believe you should spend that much time on it. You should have a couple of CVs but they shouldn't be tweaked each time.

My head is just buzzing with ideas and information.
According to my rough calculations if I bought home £800 a month, with my £300 top up from PIP I would be able to come off all benefits.

Interviews - I actually recently had a phone interview, face to face interview and a trial day interview. I kick !!! at interviews because of my anxiety - I furiously prepare meaning I have answers to most of their questions and can apply scenarios quickly to how I have dealt with something previously. Unfortunately that job turned out to be something that required a lot more physical effort than they had advertised and my body is not ready for it yet. I will keep looking though.

Urgh I hate the interviews! They make it sound like you're in so much trouble and then when you get there and beg for forgiveness they are just wanting to check in, see what help they can offer etc.

I think the new colleagues bit is what I would struggle with the most. I am a great team player, but equally I love to be left to my own devices and just do it. I mean seriously spend 2 days walking me through stuff, give me a check list and let me crack on for the rest of the week. But have all work sent to someone to check instead. Mark me at the end of the week, you'll love me

Don't get me wrong I am anxious as heck. But it always ends up working out well...

I was with the mental health team before I moved. I have had a lot of different help over the years but I was with my last mental health team for about 5 years. Unfortunately it was such a sudden move that the only people that knew were family and my doctors surgery. But that's because I had an appointment anyway, I basically cried to her about what was happening and she got me my medication early and then got me an emergency appointment with a specialist to make sure I was fit for travel.

I definitely want to be back under the mental health team though. I used to be on mood stabilisers, anti anxiety, something for concentration, several tablets to make me sleep and whatever else they felt I needed. I practically rattled! And some were so big I could have used them as a boat! I had a regular therapist, a nurse, two specialists and an occupational therapist all at the same time just so I could be off meds for a while. I'm mostly okay at the moment it makes me nervous that I don't have an up to date care plan. Does that make any sense?

themarsbargirl wrote: »

Sorry, forgot some potentially useful info for you re SWTV....
You said that you put in the code to get the points but then it just said 99% right? That happens on mine but the 3SB have been applied and once I click on a new video the meter starts again. HTH

I checked, they apply but they don't stay if that makes sense? Like say my points were 440. They would go up to 443. It would reset to 0% for starting videos and if I refresh the swagbucks counter it goes to 440. Very bizarre.

Oh, don't know if you have a smart phone but if you do download the swagbucks tv mobile app. It plays the videos on it's own and keeps going until you hit 36 swagbucks gained. I've been doing that, then I only have to do a couple of things to get my points past the current daily goal of 44 points. Although I do go do the gold surveys on it sometimes too. Got one for 100 points last night :eek::eek:

NotNormal

themarsbargirl wrote: »

You do know that you are allowed to jobsearch on ESA if you wish to? And just sign off ESA if you get a job....
It's totally your choice (your life) I just wonder if it would be less stress for you, although I imagine it'll be a bit better once they've changed you jobcentre to the closer one.
xxxx

That's basically my plan at the moment. I'll give myself a little time at the new job centre, see if it being nearer makes it easier etc. In that time I'm dropping as much pressure on myself as possible. This way I can try and find my biggest triggers and work on them.

If even the new job centre is too stressful I will ask the doctor to sign me off for a while. Then I can take job searching at my speed, handle it how I want etc x

themarsbargirl

I can't find the mobile app which probably means my smartphone is too old to support it, as long as the points are there in the end it's all gravy though Have you thought about other sites as well as swagbucks or would that just be too much for you? I can give you my referrals for some others if you like.

I know what you mean about being on ESA. I hate it, I want to work, if they had a job I could just walk into without applications and interviews and talking to people I could do it, ironically had I not been fired I would be coping with working at my old job now. *sigh* we just do our best with what we have and that is more than most people!

Yeah, not having a careplan makes sense to me. I'm finding it very unsettling that my new therapy group (which last 18months and should theoretically 'cure' me) keeps having it's start date pushed back and back. Also that I got prescribed benzodiazepines by the psychiatrist without him seeing me and I've had to push and push to get an appointment to see him!

Hopefully your new dr will be able to push an urgent appt through. Do you still have the number for your old clinic? If so it may be worth giving them a ring or getting your friend to ring them for you and check if you're still on file and can just be transferred over.
xxx

NotNormal

themarsbargirl wrote: »

I can't find the mobile app which probably means my smartphone is too old to support it, as long as the points are there in the end it's all gravy though Have you thought about other sites as well as swagbucks or would that just be too much for you? I can give you my referrals for some others if you like.

I know what you mean about being on ESA. I hate it, I want to work, if they had a job I could just walk into without applications and interviews and talking to people I could do it, ironically had I not been fired I would be coping with working at my old job now. *sigh* we just do our best with what we have and that is more than most people!

Yeah, not having a careplan makes sense to me. I'm finding it very unsettling that my new therapy group (which last 18months and should theoretically 'cure' me) keeps having it's start date pushed back and back. Also that I got prescribed benzodiazepines by the psychiatrist without him seeing me and I've had to push and push to get an appointment to see him!

Hopefully your new dr will be able to push an urgent appt through. Do you still have the number for your old clinic? If so it may be worth giving them a ring or getting your friend to ring them for you and check if you're still on file and can just be transferred over.
xxx

I'm going to join some others, I used to be on loads but basically overloaded myself. So I'm going to do swagbucks for a little bit and then slowly introduce one at a time. That way I find my own flow with them before introducing more so I have a routine with them if that makes sense?

I loved my last job. My only complaint would be that the boss didn't listen. Like he blamed me for something and when I said it wasn't me he refused to believe me. Even though a quick search would have shown that the time stamp for that being done was for a Sat. I had been off from Thursday and didn't get back until the Monday. How could I have done it?

Oh I hate when they push the start dates. I had an argument with them once because they kept rearranging my appointment with my therapist at the time. I ended up getting stressed to the point I shouted at them. It was only then they admitted she had left and they didn't know who was taking over who yet. But because I was so stressed they basically just grabbed whoever. Good thing they did because when they looked through my file (receptionists aren't allowed to) she had left a note of a plan to refer me to one of the specialists for another opinion so they were able to send me to him and he helped work out who should see me.

Yes I will talk to the doctor and tell him who I was with and ask about it getting sent over.

Virgin have been stressing me out. Owed them March and Aprils money (long story). Paid £30 off. Received a letter today saying if I don't pay the last £20 from March's bill I'll get cut off. So Dad has lent me it until I get paid on Monday. Which means I now only owe them last months money. Hopefully they will lay off me now. I will pay a little bit on Monday and then the rest will have to come out the following Monday. And then the following week this months bill is due

He is going to help me talk to them at some point as when I took the deal in Jan it was supposed to be £33 a month. It's never been less than £50!

themarsbargirl

Virgin is phone? or broadband? Very frustrating for you lovely, hopefully your Dad can sort it for you and on the bright side he's been able to take the immediate pressure off.

Not overloading makes perfect sense It's good to pace yourself and take things one step at a time.

Part of the reason my group has been pushed back is because they moved buildings and that screwed everything up! But it doesn't help that they won't admit my CPN is long term sick and reassign me....although I've been offered a student for 10 weeks :whistle: well if the experienced people don't know what to do with me maybe a newbie will :rotfl:

NotNormal

themarsbargirl wrote: »

Virgin is phone? or broadband? Very frustrating for you lovely, hopefully your Dad can sort it for you and on the bright side he's been able to take the immediate pressure off.

Not overloading makes perfect sense It's good to pace yourself and take things one step at a time.

Part of the reason my group has been pushed back is because they moved buildings and that screwed everything up! But it doesn't help that they won't admit my CPN is long term sick and reassign me....although I've been offered a student for 10 weeks :whistle: well if the experienced people don't know what to do with me maybe a newbie will :rotfl:

Complete bundle. Tv, landline and broadband. Just checked and remaining balance is £60. My biggest issue is I went manic last month and went on a spending spree. And unfortunately as you know we can't really control being manic. Sometimes it's spending, sometimes it's cleaning, sometimes it's making stuff. So to my knowledge the bill had gone out, so I spent all the money in my account and unfortunately it hadn't gone it.

I'm going to look into getting another bank account. That will hold MY money. The money after bills etc. That bank card will never come with me. Then if I go manic it's fine because I can only burn through the spare money. Then if a bill comes back a little higher and so doesn't go through I can pay what it should have been and only owe them the extra instead of owing the whole amount.

I would see anyone they offer, even if you don't think it will help you. Because it all goes in your favour that you saw whoever they had available as you needed to see someone.

Are you on PIP or DLA or just on ESA?

NotNormal

Well myfitnesspal is shouting at me. Way over on calories. Too many carbs, fat and a little too much protein. But damage isn't too bad all things considered. Now all the junk food is out the house though so tomorrow should be better.

My friend is going to pop in when she gets up for work and wake me so I can wait for this phone call. The sooner it is sorted the sooner I can relax.

themarsbargirl

Just ESA, I'm very fortunate that my'manic' very rarely encompasses shopping...and when it does it tends to be tinned food so at least I always have food to fall back on.

Oh, I intend to see her, consistency would be nice...just hope I don't scare her off or send her long-term sick too! lol

NotNormal

themarsbargirl wrote: »

Just ESA, I'm very fortunate that my'manic' very rarely encompasses shopping...and when it does it tends to be tinned food so at least I always have food to fall back on.

Oh, I intend to see her, consistency would be nice...just hope I don't scare her off or send her long-term sick too! lol

I miss my stockpile I want to get a big cupboard and start couponing again lol. At least it's a weight off your mind that you have stuff stocked up in case you need it.

Have you considered PIP? It takes a while to get but even on the low rate it's an extra £300. It really helps me because it means I'm living on a much more reasonable income, I can afford to put money towards my debts and it doesn't matter if you work or not. You just have to tell them if you start working or go on JSA.

Well I'm starting the day as I mean to go on. I managed to get to sleep during the early hours, 3am I think? Woke up at 7am, up by 9am. Had two slices of peanut butter toast for breakfast. Rather than 4 slices because I've waited so long that I scoff.

Well that phone call was nice and easy. I had just typed on here "waiting for this phone call" and then my phone rang. Really friendly lady had a quick little chatter with my and booked me in for Monday afternoon. So just putting the time in my calendar and then I will shoot off a text to my friend, thank her for checking I was awake this morning and to let her know about the appointment as she said if I told her when it was she would come with me.

Really need a ciggie now. Could have sworn I had an open pouch of baccy, but I can't find it for the life of me.

Not sure what I'll do for lunch today. I will have to look through the cupboard, I think I want some pasta. Not sure what to do with it though lol.

I'm going out tonight. Dad told me last night, because my friend wanted to go out and I wanted to but then got myself in a state because no one had told me in advance so I wasn't ready and had no time to prepare myself for the fact I would be around people. So he calmed me down and told me we would go tonight after he gets back from work, so now I have time to prepare and I will have to get dressed etc later and argue with my hair.