Kids or no kids at my wedding?

Former_MSE_Jo_N

Hi lizbec, we are planning a reception as we want to treat our friends and family to some nice food and music. We actually looked into the pub option, but living in London we were quoted min spend of £10k - madness! The wedding industry has gone crazy.
innit76 - I think we will try what you did.

JustKeepSwimming_2

Be prepared for the guest that assumes the "no children" comment doesn't apply to them

We had a no children rule at our wedding for the evening which we spent on a boat whose insurance didn't cover children. We decided on having no children for the service/day too as my (now ex) OH's cousins were the only kids that would possibly be coming, & they were quite bratty. OH specifically told his aunt that it would be adults only & she said she'd make arrangements & wasn't offended.

They turned up with their kids, pretending not to know. The kids were bored & bratty, so acted up & the day didn't go as well as planned as their parents drank & didn't supervise them properly, then had a row with each other as to who was going to look after them while we we're all on the boat....

Yeah, its funny now :rotfl: but on the day it wasn't.

I am very glad not to be part of that family anymore!

As an adult with kids I would have been happy to leave them for the day after I'd stopped feeding, but I would have had to pass if the wedding had involved an overnight stay due to lack of childcare. I wouldn't have been offended in the slightest, & would quite like some time away from them that I could enjoy with grown ups without having to be on guard, so to speak.

Hope whatever you plan works out for you & you have a wonderful day.

suchgreatheights

lizbec wrote: »

Weddings shouid be family occasions,yet more and more I hear about children being excluded because - shock,horror - they do things like eat and cry and therefore interfere with the picture postcard perfection of the occasion

Yes, I think it is exactly because they cry and interfere that people prefer to exclude them for the one day in their lives they allow themselves a picture-perfect day away from the irritations of everyday life! And what is wrong with that?

Whenever badly-behaved children are present, the day becomes all about them. They demand to be the constant centre of attention and unfortunately a lot of parents allow them to be.

Teacher2

My husband an I were asked to a wedding without our children when the children of others were invited. We asked my mother to have them for the day (and overnight) and went for a lovely child free time. It would have been prohibitively expensive for the married couple to have asked four of us. Some people will be annoyed and others, like us, see the good side.

cmzs99

suchgreatheights wrote: »

Yes, I think it is exactly because they cry and interfere that people prefer to exclude them for the one day in their lives they allow themselves a picture-perfect day away from the irritations of everyday life! And what is wrong with that?

Whenever badly-behaved children are present, the day becomes all about them. They demand to be the constant centre of attention and unfortunately a lot of parents allow them to be.

The last wedding I went to, it was the drunken adults having a punch-up which ruined the 'picture-perfect' day. The children were perfectly well-behaved.

suchgreatheights

cmzs99 wrote: »

The last wedding I went to, it was the drunken adults having a punch-up which ruined the 'picture-perfect' day. The children were perfectly well-behaved.

How childish

cmzs99

suchgreatheights wrote: »

How childish

Indeed

buzzard

I live some distance away from my family and family weddings therefore usually involve being away from home overnight. My child has severe allergies and I disliked leaving them with other people. So if my child wasn't invited I didn't go. If the wedding was close enough I'd go to the church but not the reception.

It annoys me that a couple will have child bridesmaids and pageboys because they look cute in pictures but not have other children at the wedding. If you want adults only then stick to that and have no children present.

Your wedding - your choice, but dont complain if some people value their children more than seeing you posing for photographs.

GoldenShadow

Just have to weigh up how much you want the parents there. If they can't leave the kids at home, are you prepared to have the kids as well or would you rather not have any of them attend?

I'm very anti children at weddings at this point in my life. I went to a wedding last year that was AWFUL because one of the couple's family let their children run amok. I'm not kidding, they were literally running around squealing during the vows and I think that has scarred me for life in terms of children at the ceremony! The bride was so upset and other guests started saying look why don't you take child A and child B for a drink and then the Mum was getting all stroppy and wouldn't take them out :eek:

I daresay its very different depending on age as to whether most people have kids or not. My friend getting married in July has no friends with children so this never even came up.

tallgirld

If you do not want children at your wedding then that is your choice. They will probably be crying, running around or wasting food anyway.

I'm probably being a bit harsh but I know a woman who had a no children policy at her wedding and everyone was ok about it. The parents just organised childcare for their children if they wanted to attend. Simple.