Kids or no kids at my wedding?

florere

'Badly behaved children,' if you know these people well you should have an idea whether their children are well behaved or not, only invite the parents with well behaved children.

moxxy-girl

I think many parents of young children actually enjoy the excuse of going somewhere without having to look after their children!!
It's your wedding - it's up to you who you invite!

wondermouse

we are having speciality food that kids won't eat

While one of my kids admittedly survives mainly on a diet of chicken mcnuggets, chips and fruit and veg, the other one has as wide a palate as I have, so I wondered what the "speciality food that kids won't eat" could be?

Fermented yak? Or that icelandic rotting fish stuff? That's pretty much the only things he might think twice before trying!

Mattandhel

we got married nearly two years ago and had 10 children to our ceremony and 20 to the evening reception. Our son was 4 at the time and we invited children as we thought it would give him someone to play with and also as many of our friends have children and we thought if all the family are at the wedding then that ties up all the baby sitters too so the chances are those that had people would not come. To be honest the children were fantastic during the ceremony and as we got married in a country house (the room we had for the meal and evening reception opened out on to quite a large lawned area) we had a giant bouncy castle delivered while we were having the photos taken. This entertained the kids that weren't involved in the photos, we also made up activity bags with pencils and crayons, colouring and puzzle books and things like little cars/ crowns and party bag type toys for them. We used these as the children's place settings. This kept the kids perfectly quiet (including our son) throughout the meal and speeches. In the evening the dj did balloon animals for them and then they all played cricket and football outside. Basically it's up to you if you want to invite children or not it's your day but from experience if there are a lot of family with children they may all struggle to find a baby sitter. Children are only naughty when they are bored so if you choose to invite them just make sure they're entertained then chances are you wont won't get any trouble from them.

addyann

kitkate81 wrote: »

Not at all! I think a wedding is an adult affair. We had the ceremony, dinner, speeches then a disco until late. You wouldn't invite kids to a meal in a restaurant then a nightclub!

We had 2 nieces and two babies and wrote something in the invite along the lines of 'as much as we love you children on this occasion we are unable to accommodate them at our wedding, we hope you understand'. This didn't stop anyone coming and most said how much they enjoyed a night off baby sitting and could let their hair down!!

Totally agree! I don't expect to be invited to play in the childrens ball pit at their parties, and it is your wedding, do what suits you. Its your day.

Mojisola

Mattandhel wrote: »

Children are only naughty when they are bored so if you choose to invite them just make sure they're entertained then chances are you wont won't get any trouble from them.

This just isn't true of all children.

Some kids won't want to do the activities you've decided they will like; some are used to having Mum or Dad attend to their every desire 'right NOW' and won't go off and spend time the other kids; some will love the lack of supervision by their parents at a strange venue among lots of strangers and go wild; others will just get way over the top excited and spend all their time dashing around like rockets.

rosie-lee

cashewnut wrote: »

Glad you had a wonderful wedding day!



Is the other wedding you're talking about a country house type place with lots of bedrooms or something? One of my colleagues is getting married later in the year at such a venue and if guests don't fill the rooms then they have to stump up an extra £300 for each room (the price being for two nights' stay).

I'd be mortified to be invited to a wedding and expected to stump up £300 quid for accommodation...plus a gift..plus outfits...expensive drinks etc etc.


Your colleague should not have expected her guests to pay for her venue.
Which in reality is what they are doing if she has to pay the difference when they don't.

bylromarha

Feel I need to stick up for kids here.

Being part of an active church with 2 universities in the city means that my 2 kids have been to an average of 3 weddings a year since they were born.

Not once have they run around, or cried in the service, or been a pain, or ruined the day for the couple, or been a distraction in any way, shape or form. They have been trained from day 1 to behave appropriately in different scenarios. As a parent, I have been prepared to keep them quiet during the quiet parts with books, silent toys and the like. When they were teeny, I kept a close eye and whipped them out if I suspected they were going to cry.

3 different weddings the bride and groom came over to say hi and comment on how well behaved the kids were.

Yes, some kids are a pain as their parents allow them to be. However, I don't remember the kids at our wedding doing anything to ruin our day.

If you know the parents, then you know how they parent and if their kid is a handful or not.

smashedcrab

Of course it's your choice.

From my point of view, a marriage is a family event. I'd hate the thought of an adult-only event. I want everyone to remember our wedding as a fun-filled affair where nobody had to rush off to babysat kids. If we get an invite and our kids aren't invited then we don't go. Actually we really do love our kids that much that we would rather spend the day with them than without them at someone's wedding.
I'm getting married next year and this dilemma for me is simple. All the people with children who, in the past, invited my children, will be invited to bring their kids. The people who didn't invite our kids will not have their kids invited. If they have a problem with that then tough. It's my choice, like it was their choice not to invite my kids (who, by the way, are very well mannered and always behave themselves when we're out). Funnily the only people who didn't invite our kids are in fact my fiance's brother and his daughters (my kid's uncle and first cousins). I really don't have a problem if they decide not to come and neither does my fiance.

This isn't for everyone, in fact, most of the people on this thread, and if you don't want kids there, just say no. It's your day, not theirs.:)

Mattandhel

I completely agree with you but generally you tend to know the children that you are inviting so would know what would suit and what wouldn't