Kids or no kids at my wedding?

rachiibell

I really think it depends what type of wedding you want. If it's a relaxed, casual affair then having kids there would be great. If you'd prefer a more formal, grown up party then you probably don't want kids there. And that's before you've even got to looking at numbers and costs. Neither option is any better or worse. At the end of the day it's your day so do what you want.

As for the parents saying they won't go if their kids aren't invited I'm sorry but where there's a will there's a way. That could mean getting a friend/ relative to baby sit, only attending part of the day or even only one half of the couple going. Ocassionally it won't be possible and you'll just get a simple "I'm sorry we won't be able to make it". The people who kick up a big fuss and complain are just those kind of people. If they weren't doing it now they'd probably be doing it at the wedding about something so maybe it's for the best they don't come anyway

rachiibell

kells99 wrote: »

I would be interested in peoples thoughts to my current dilemma.
My partner has two older children, each of them have a young child too (ages 2 and 3). I would have no issue inviting them if we ever saw his kids and their kids, but we only see them when it is their birthdays, their kids birthdays or Christmas. I do invite them round and try to arrange to see them throughout the year but they are always busy.
My partner has no opinion on the matter when I have broached it with him, my future sister in law thinks I have to invite them, my own sister says not.

If I'm reading this right these are your partners grandchildren? If so then yes I would probably invite them.

MistyG

Unfortunately many parents do not take their children out when they are being noisy which is why we didn't invite children to our wedding. We have both been to so many weddings where you can't even hear the vows due to noisy children. It's your day; you should do what you want. Most of the parents we invited said they were glad to attend without their kids so that they could just enjoy the day without having to worry about entertaining their kids.

lizziebell*80

Your wedding, your decision.
Two of my cousins decided no kids and as it was family weddings, my parents were going so we had no babysitters. So we missed those weddings. Another cousin is getting married, but she has a nephew who is 4 so she is inviting kids. She is having a children's entertainer coming to keep them amused for some of the time. I will bring stuff with me too for my two (5 & 2).
As others have said and as I have experienced, some people may not be able to attend if they cannot get childcare, but that's life

Former_MSE_Jo_N

Thanks all for your comments, really appreciate it. Just to clarify, anyone with a baby under the age of one will of course be able to bring them along. We're both happy to have some kids at the wedding, the problem is that since we're not in our 20s anymore, most of our friends have kids and if they all were invited we're looking at about 30 kids (we're not having a massive wedding) - a cost we can't really afford.
I think we will try to have a separate conversation with each guest who's a parent to see if they are happy to leave their bundle of joys at home...One of my bridesmaids has already declared she's getting a babysitter that night as she wants to have fun with us and not having to leave early to tuck her girls into bed.
Cheers,
Jo

lizziebell*80

as also mentioned, ideally most parents would probably like to be by themselves at a wedding and not have to keep herding their kids through the day
If I go to a non-family wedding, I will be hoping my parents can take my two kids while I attend.

lizziebell*80

Wow, 30 kids :O
That's a lot!

duchy

SVW wrote: »

Somebody earlier said that weddings are public events and anyone can be there, invited or not. This may be true at a church or register office, but many weddings are held in private venues and I doubt that anybody can turn up. And also this is not an attitude to encourage - why would you want to spoil somebody's wedding day by turning up when you have not been invited?

You may well doubt- but it is the law so you are wrong.

As to why -it's all about "If anyone knows any lawful impediment" obviously refusing entry to anyone who did know of a reason would be possible otherwise.

Motives ?

Unhappy ex
Bigamy
Angry family
Religious objections
Political objections (I believe there have been attempts to disrupt some same sex ceremonies)
Anyone with a grudge

If you were to attempt to refuse entry to a wedding ceremony -technically it could invalidate the marriage. Most registrars would refuse to perform the ceremony if they were aware you refused entry to anyone.

Marriage is first and foremost a legal contract - a wedding is all the optional extra bits.

bazzyb

SVW wrote: »

Somebody earlier said that weddings are public events and anyone can be there, invited or not. This may be true at a church or register office, but many weddings are held in private venues and I doubt that anybody can turn up.

All weddings are open to the general public, the venue is irrelevant. They may be 'private' venues but for the duration of the wedding ceremony they would need to allow access to anyone and everyone.

Mojisola

jgriggle wrote: »

Your wedding, your rules. However be prepared to lose some friendships over this.

If I lost any friends because I decided to have a 'no children' wedding, I wouldn't think that they were real friends in the first place!

Not inviting kids is a bit like only inviting one half of a married couple.

No, it isn't!

Adults get invited to all sorts of events without their children.