Nice People Thread No. 14, all Nice and Proper

SingleSue

When me and hubby first split, I sat there completely overwhelmed at the enormity of what had to be done. I thought there was absolutely no way I would cope with it all and for a time, I really didn't, I just muddled through and fell apart in the privacy of my bedroom.

I think the big change came for me when I realised that I was on my own and if I didn't change things then we were going to completely flounder and that would be very very bad for the boys. I had already done the research when the boys had initially got their diagnosis but being a good girl and conforming for once in my life, did it the way everyone else thought it should be done despite my logical brain telling me that it may well not be right.

I knew I would have to fight for what I believed in but initially, I had to put up a front, a very convincing front to get that confidence over, inside I was like a very doubting wobbly jelly. I knew sending Josh away to a residential school would be the wrong thing for him, that he would feel as if he was being pushed away, excluded from the family, made to feel bad and intuition told me that that would be very bad indeed for him and would only make the situation and his Aspergers worse.

But by god the fight I had on my hands to get him set up to receive an education whilst living at home was immense, had to go down the private tutor route for a time when money really didn't allow it until eventually, he was accepted into a PRU.

I didn't set out to do anything different, to go against the grain but looking at things logically, I couldn't understand why someone would want to hide a sympton instead of dealing with the cause...to my mind, surely it was better to deal with the root cause.

I don't think I am anything special, I muddled through with logical thinking, hoping each time that my intuition was right but I did get some things really quite spectacularly wrong along the way....and of course, I am a stubborn but determined little begger!

We all have our trials, to be honest, I don't think I could have coped with the fall out of the children losing a father the way Lydia's have, the mental anguish such an accident would cause for a young child, I would have no idea how to deal with it at all, how to help them to settle it in their minds, how to make them feel safe again and learn to smile again.

We are all special and we all have our ways of dealing with things, our own specialisms, mine just happens to be some of those children on the autistic spectrum (my methods will not work on all autistic children, it really is down to the child itself, the severity and how receptive they are).

michaels

Beers for Zag :beer:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-34616758

Generali

michaels wrote: »

Bers for Zag :beer:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-34616758

I don't really understand why people don't sell up and buy something like this:

http://www.rightmove.co.uk/overseas-property/property-36638859.html

Get a million squids in change plus you can earn a living from the property too.

GDB2222

Generali wrote: »

I don't really understand why people don't sell up and buy something like this:

http://www.rightmove.co.uk/overseas-property/property-36638859.html

Get a million squids in change plus you can earn a living from the property too.

I can answer that for you in our case.

First, DW insists that we live within walking distance of the synagogue. I imagine that there is no synagogue within 100 miles of that particular place.

Second, it is quite a big thing to uproot yourself to a country where you do not even speak the language well. It is all very well to have enough French to order a beer in the bar, but dealing with official documents, and indeed officials, is quite another thing. Besides that, it means starting from scratch to make New friends then fitting into the community. I know that you've done that in Australia, but at least the wife has family there. And you speak the language, more or less.

Generali

GDB2222 wrote: »

I can answer that for you in our case.

First, DW insists that we live within walking distance of the synagogue. I imagine that there is no synagogue within 100 miles of that particular place.

Second, it is quite a big thing to uproot yourself to a country where you do not even speak the language well. It is all very well to have enough French to order a beer in the bar, but dealing with official documents, and indeed officials, is quite another thing. Besides that, it means starting from scratch to make New friends then fitting into the community. I know that you've done that in Australia, but at least the wife has family there. And you speak the language, more or less.

I've lived in France too as it goes. Twice.

I don't imagine that place is within walking distance of much at all let alone a synagogue. I would bet good money that you could live within walking distance of a synagogue in France for a darn sight less than a million squids or indeed one up north (although obviously it's grim up north and I would never suggest a Nice Person moved there).

kabayiri

Generali wrote: »

I've lived in France too as it goes. Twice.

I don't imagine that place is within walking distance of much at all let alone a synagogue. I would bet good money that you could live within walking distance of a synagogue in France for a darn sight less than a million squids or indeed one up north (although obviously it's grim up north and I would never suggest a Nice Person moved there).

... nor me

There have been quite a few property sales recently in the Peak District to people who have uprooted from daaarn saaaarf .

A friend from south of Reading who bought in a nice village was moaning about how shops seem to shut early. Well, errr, that's what it's like!!

Whether it's cultured France or Northern Hell Hole Blighty, I suggest people do their research....try a bit of renting in the area first.

kabayiri

michaels wrote: »

Bers for Zag :beer:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-34616758

I quite liked Wyndlesham, Cobham, Virginia Water. There are some lovely places around there...I can see why they become expensive when the alternative is Bracknell or Slough or Wokingham.

Generali

kabayiri wrote: »

... nor me

There have been quite a few property sales recently in the Peak District to people who have uprooted from daaarn saaaarf .

A friend from south of Reading who bought in a nice village was moaning about how shops seem to shut early. Well, errr, that's what it's like!!

Whether it's cultured France or Northern Hell Hole Blighty, I suggest people do their research....try a bit of renting in the area first.

TBH a rule of thumb is that if you drive a significant distance up the A1 to get from London to your house then something is terribly, terribly wrong.

Generali

kabayiri wrote: »

I quite liked Wyndlesham, Cobham, Virginia Water. There are some lovely places around there...I can see why they become expensive when the alternative is Bracknell or Slough or Wokingham.

Come friendly bombs and fall on Slough,
It isn't fit for humans now,

LydiaJ

Moving to France would be a bit much for me. I recommend the chunk of the country between, say, Weston-super-mare and Birmingham as being a lot cheaper than London, nowhere near as grim as the north, much less isolated than the far south west, and more convenient than anything on the other side of the channel, not only for the language but for those of us with an aging parent or two in this country. (I'm going to go and see mine later this week.)