Am I the biggest fool for being frugal?

Dozey_crow

I think the point is missed here. The op is not questioning her cousins spending choices as such.. More the realisation that her family are now expected to financially help them. Personally I think the cousins are presumptuous and rude and it's unjust and I would not be paying.

I fully agree that people should be able to spend their income and live their lives as they wish. However, having done so they should not then bleat about being hard done by and broke and expect others to bail them out. Even the most challenged can realize that money can only be spent once.

Opp they made life choices so did you. Stick with your ways and let then get on with it.

NICHOLAS_2

dandy-candy wrote: »

You seem to be missing the point that the reason we could buy FIL house is because we have been living frugally. And i have never been ill from eating YS food.

As for your comment of us with money, you are wrong and insulting. DH has often given money - given not lent - to his aunt and uncle who have been a bit short at times, and been happy to do so. It's the free spending cousins who now are pleading poverty that are getting our goat.

Ok, so now you have your own house, some of the FIL's house, money in the bank, and you're now well off..

Are you going to keep wearing primark clothes that cost 2 pounds? It's not like decent clothes cost a fortune. There's saving money and then there's being a skin flint.

NICHOLAS_2

suki1964 wrote: »

Says the boy who is doing their best not to pay the water company for the water they use.......


You know nothing about the the op other then which they choose to share on these forums. Same as we know nothing about you then what you have shared

Nothing to say the op are tight, loads to say you would like to screw over a multinational

Boy? I'm all man.

Anyway, i will pay it, just on my own terms, like when i can be bothered. I guess it is my sort of civil disobedience moment because i'm fed up of rip off Britain.

I also pay my council tax late every time..

Although they have the last laugh when they sting me on legal fees

NICHOLAS_2

purpleshoes wrote: »

YS food isnt dodgy, plenty of it can be frozen.

I wouldn't know, my freezer has been switched off for 4 years. Not because i am trying to be frugal and save electricity

But because most of the stuff sold to put in freezers is cheap, crap, unhealthy food.

My fridge on the other hand is always bursting with fresh, healthy food.

While i appreciate it is good to be sensible with money, ones health should never be put into jepoardy to save a bit of money. As i said, you can't take it to the grave.

koselur

i had a barbie at home for my 18th and my 21st - i have really happy memories of both and never wished for anything more (at the time mates of mine were doing the casino thing or massive super sweet sixteen style parties).

i also remember my mum panicking about money and debts when i was a little kid and that awful memory will always haunt me. not knowing what 'arrears' were but knowing it was bad you never know what things are like behind closed doors - i'm sure your kids will really appreciate the example of financial stability you have shown them.

Dozey_crow

NICHOLAS wrote: »

Ok, so now you have your own house, some of the FIL's house, money in the bank, and you're now well off..

Are you going to keep wearing primark clothes that cost 2 pounds? It's not like decent clothes cost a fortune. There's saving money and then there's being a skin flint.

It doesn't matter where the op shops for anything does it? Surely you can't mean that if you have a certain standard of living you should use 'appropriate' shops. Maybe they like the clothes in Primark. What if you love sainsburys own brand tea at 40p for 20 bags?? Would buying that still mean that the someone is a skin flint or does it depend on their wealth? Should people who own one property have Yorkshire or other branded tea, perhaps those with two properties should have organic and people with more that should order from Harrods or fortnum and mason.

:rotfl:

NICHOLAS wrote: »

Boy? I'm all man.

Anyway, i will pay it, just on my own terms, like when i can be bothered. I guess it is my sort of civil disobedience moment because i'm fed up of rip off Britain.

I also pay my council tax late every time..

Although they have the last laugh when they sting me on legal fees

It seems that you have a very different idea of financial good sense to me and possibly the op anyway. There is no way I would so this and waste money on fees unnecessarily.

Each to their own I guess. As long as you are happy.

Molillie

To go back to the original post, no-one has any right to agree to you paying for a funeral without your consent. Surely, if the estate can't bear the costs, it wouldn't be that much split between all the cousins? Even someone who wasn't well-off might have an insurance policy or similar to pay those costs. How people choose to spend their money is just that, a choice. Not being thrifty isn't immoral (unless you expect others to bale you out) and being frugal isn't the same as being mean. One of the things I try to remember is that money spent doesn't equate to the amount of enjoyment or memories generated. For example, on "at home with Nikki" on youtube she showed the preparations for a requested barbie party for her son. Most of the ideas didn't cost much, if anything, but would be memorable. If you are planning something, look for ways to make it special. For me, not constantly worrying about unexpected bills is worth a bit of frugality.
On a more general point, does anyone else have siblings who happily suggest ways of spending? It doesn't really matter unless they offer your cash to others, but one of my brothers used to tell me I could get Sky TV quite cheaply, or that meat was really good value at a particular shop (I'm a vegetarian, and have no interest in watching sport on TV)

[Deleted User]

Ah families, what a pain they are at times I have been very lucky with my family and my two girls are brilliant.
You have been sensible in not going over the top with spending .After all you can spend what you wish on what YOU want, not always the way other people decide to spend.

I live comfortably, yet am not daft enough to think that fancy holidays or smart cars are the be-all and end -all of life

I think personally that 'designer' clothes are a bit like the 'Emperors New Clothes ' and anyone silly enough to fork out on a tee shirt with a daft logo on has more money than sense,but there again that's only my opinion.

Doesn't mean to say its right or wrong, I buy sensibly and can live and save on what I have coming in monthly.But thats only because both my late OH and I went through lean times in the 1970s and knew how hard up life can be.
YS food is perfectly OK to eat as before it had its sticker on it was fine it hasn't suddenly grown bacteria on it

Charity shop clothes too are fine as well ,if a relative gave you something they no longer wore you would say thank you and wear it without a problem.

That chap that thinks it Ok to 'stiff ' the water company is apart from being daft forgets that water is not free, and neither are the roads and council services that he doesn't wish to pay for. We all have a responsibility to pay our way, and that chap is just expecting the rest of society to fund his life style by ducking out of his bills makes the rest of us have to pay increased bills.

But then he would rather pay to wear a company name on his clothes (why not get a pair of Quick-fit overalls in that case :):))

I got married in 1962 to my OH I still wear the £4.00 gold ring he bought me for my wedding ring (all he could afford ) we had a 'reception' as such, in a local cafe, it was steak and chips for himself,me and the two wictnesses we dragged in off the street, total cost £12.00. We really were stoney broke.
Over the following years as we become less so, he asked if I wanted a new ring to which I said 'No thanks it reminds me of how broke we were, and how money does not equate with happiness'.

We had 40 odd years with lots of ups and downs, and times when we were affulent, and times when we were broke, but we also knew that money wasn't what was keeping us together we were a partnership through thick and thin.

So no, I think you are sensible and making sure you have a roof over your head which is yours, and no one can take away is good .

Your children will remember the good times ,not nessesarily the times you spent loads-a-money, but the time you gave them your own time which is invaluble.

I could afford to go on a cruise now if I wanted to, but I don't, as without my OH around to see, it would be pointless

I choose instead to go away with my youngest DD and her family every year, and we have a great time my grandchildren are brilliant, and to me playing French cricket on the beach on the IoW with the boys is priceless.

The Uncle has sadly passed away and a funeral is obvoiusly on the cards but it doesn't mean that by spending thousands on the person who has died means you think more of them.
When my husband died in 2003 I said I only wanted one wreath from myself and my two DDs which we had, the rest of the mourners donated to my DD the cash they wanted to (raised alomost £900) and the money was given to the local hospitals 'League of Friends' as they had been so kind to me when my OH was in hospital.

It went to a good cause, and not to sit at a crematorium just withering away.My DDs know that when I shuffle off I don't want any money spent. I get flowers from them now when I can see them not afterwards when I can't
I know they love me and don't need silly money spent on my demise. I have told them go to the local pub raise a glass and say 'she wasn't a bad old Mum cheers ' and thats all I want them to do.

The furneral of a person isn't improved in any way but overspending so tell the SIL that she is just being foolish, and not just with her cash, but with yours as well, which is wrong.The dead wouldn't thank you for it, and life in debt because of it is just plain stupid

SavingPennies_2

Mr_Singleton wrote: »

What a horrible thing to say! :mad:

Maybe it was only smelly after you got on!

Don't take such offence, I meant it fairly lightheartedly and I still travel on public transport nearly every day. I live in a large city where the buses are cramped and seem to get cleaned infrequently, also I'm sorry to say but there are a fair few smelly passengers, so trust me, most days they do stink, and no it's not me that smells.

happydays89

I am frugal,I hate wasting money.I made a funeral wreath last week it cost £6,a similar one online cost £120.00,I prefer to make a donation to charity rather than waste it on expensive wreaths.90 per cent of our food is yellow sticker,and we shop around for the best price for everything we buy.If we hadn't done this we wouldn't of paid the mortgage off when we were 50 and had substantial savings.We have a balance and enjoy life.If your frugal you free up money to spend on other things.I feel we are very lucky because we enjoy the free things in life like walking along the beach everyday with our dogs,forest walks,taking the camping stove,tea making bits and food to cook and enjoying a day somewhere secluded and quiet.We don't enjoy shopping in big shopping centres and don't feel the need to surround ourselves with consumerism,but everyone is different and you just have to live your own life the way you want.