Am I the biggest fool for being frugal?

Mr_Singleton

CupOfChai wrote: »

She thinks it's odd and can't seem to quite get her head round the fact I don't want a "keepsake" gift to mark the birthday, a watch or jewellery or something like that

Trust me, when your older, maybe much older you'll understand!

Mr_Singleton

SavingPennies wrote: »

I wonder if I missed out, especially in my 20s when all I did was save for a house deposit by making myself "get by" on cheap food, wearing old clothes and travelling on smelly public transport over the years, when other people were driving their own car from the age of 17

What a horrible thing to say! :mad:

Maybe it was only smelly after you got on!

thriftwizard

Ahem - IIRC, the OP's car is 7 years old. Hate to say it but that's hardly any age at all! Mine is 10 this year, looks smart, drives well, gets just about 60Mpg and costs me £30 to tax. The last one was 20 before it went to the great scrap-heap in the sky; looked fine and had been wonderfully reliable until just before The End.

This is probably a bit OT, but do people really think it's a sign of meanness to own a secondhand vehicle? I'm amazed; can't see any sense taking on debt to buy a shiny new one when an older one will do the same job for a whole lot less & may well not cost a whole lot more to run. OK if your job requires you to impress people, but I have a feeling that quite a lot of people wouldn't even notice, let alone be impressed... I obviously move in different circles!

Ilona

Mr_Singleton wrote: »

You need to separate the idea of being frugal and living within your means.

Living within your means is good to a point but thats not to say that all debt is bad. All to often in my experience especially with people that wear it as a badge of honour being frugal is just a cover for personal meanness.

I am frugal, and I live within my means. In my case it's the same thing.

'Cover for personal meanness', what a horrible thing to say, I feel you have insulted me. I could list a whole load of things I do to help others, things I give away, voluntary work I do, donations to charity, but I won't bother, read my blog if you want to know the real me. Yes I am called Meanqueen, but I am definitely not mean. I wear my frugal badge with pride.
Ilona

Mr_Singleton

thriftwizard wrote: »

This is probably a bit OT, but do people really think it's a sign of meanness to own a secondhand vehicle? I'm amazed; can't see any sense taking on debt to buy a shiny new one when an older one will do the same job for a whole lot less & may well not cost a whole lot more to run. OK if your job requires you to impress people, but I have a feeling that quite a lot of people wouldn't even notice, let alone be impressed... I obviously move in different circles!

In your case you might be right in not buying new if you can't afford it but its a bit odd to tar everyone that DOES buy a new car as only doing so to impress people. I doubt that anyone would be impressed with a job that required YOU to buy a car rather than have a company give you the car which would preferably be German.

Yes, second hand cars have there plus points but so do new. Like for like a modern car will be much more economical to run than a 10 year old one. Factor in the warranty and other new car incentives like free years insurance or a years worth of petrol, RAC/AA cover etc etc combined with todays ultra-low interest rates and new isn't the cash pit some like to tell you it is.

purpleshoes_2

Im not mean, Im skint, two different things. I think before this thread gets derailed if people are getting upset by what others say, we all have different ways of dealing with money. Ive spent much more on stuff in the past when I had more cash, now I cant, but even if I did, I think I would probably still do what I do now, because stuff is just stuff to me. I dont need spend loads of money on clothes or nights out. For some people that will be important.

For the OP, its two things really, seeing other people spend until they bust and then being asked to pay for a funeral because these other people have no spare cash even though she doesn't either.

Plus wondering if the way she has been living has been the right way all along, as I said before, if she feels that she has missed out, there are ways to rectify that. As much as I am frugal, you only live once as well and there's no point looking back thinking, I scrimped all my life and Im not sure it was the right thing to do.

If there's not enough fun going on because every single penny has to be accounted for its a matter of finding stuff the family can do low cost that gives experiences without feeling that you are having to penny pinch all the time.

Mr_Singleton

Ilona wrote: »

'Cover for personal meanness', what a horrible thing to say, I feel you have insulted me

Me thinks you don't understand what I've said.

Mr_Singleton

purpleshoes wrote: »

Im not mean, Im skint, two different things....... etc etc etc

Eloquently put! :T

Lynplatinum

Dear Dandy Candy

My boys are now 28 and 31. during their lives I have been married and v poor; divorced - no money from their Dad; then worked my way up in a firm and (by our standards) had loads of money; got made redundant and was on Income Support while retraining; now run my own business with enough to get by.

Why am I telling you this because the parties and events they remember are (apart from a visit to the Globe theatre) the dead cheap ones! Running through the braken with the dog and having a BBQ (one birthday); sitting on a headland overlooking the Cornish sea with a HM picnic (another birthday); fireworks party in our large back garden; HM christmas tree (white painted branches in a large vase hung with CS baubles and ones we made ourselves). Not the fancy stuff.

Furthermore, when they became students at Uni - they were v grateful that I had taught them how to live within their means (they returned home from Uni each term with money in their banks!! Did they go out and drink and buy weird fashions - yes!) When they lived with more indulged young people they could not get over how much stress they added to their lives by not being wise with money.

SO point 1 - dont worry about you DS 18th - the emotions not the money matter - think of some funky cheap theme for example! That will build his memories!

Point 2 - the other man's grass is always greener - what are the cousins running away from or having to compensate for with their endless buying - what are they trying to prove and to whom? Spenders without wisdom are often very unhappy people deep down. They may be the exception to the rule but look up about a guy called Warren Buffet - one of the world's richest people!

Point 3 - SIL needs a quiet word in ear not to assume things! If you assume - it makes an !!! out of U and ME :rotfl:

Point 4 - if folk shared an uncle - they should share the expense of burying him - that is, if, there truly is no estate - that needs checking out before you are volunteered!

Point 5 - gentle wisdom and a quiet but firm voice might work miracles here! Good luck! Let us know what happens.

Mr_Singleton

You make some fantastic points but in regards to point 2 I don't see why people take such a dim view of people that having earned the money then spend it in any way that they wish.

I live in central London and have a central London job that pays a central London wage. I have no doubt that some on here would think my salary was obscene but I'm able to afford things that others can't. I don't and wouldn't buy a new car to impress anyone nor do I buy things expensive or otherwise to compensate for something thats lacking in my life. I don't look down on people because they can't afford a holiday so why do others automatically think those spending what they've earned are trying to over compensate??

The 'Sage of Omaha' paid $48 million on his income last year, has 2 homes worth around $10 million and gets around in his personal $12 private jet. If thats frugal.... please can I be frugal!

Anyway enough with this thread!