Am I the biggest fool for being frugal?

Butterfly_Brain

Did he have any life insurance dandy?

If you want to cut costs ask the Funeral Director for a municiple funeral because your uncle was poor.

You get the same service and reverance but at a reduced cost.

The catering could be just tea and sarnies at a house. Don't go overboard when you are expected to pay for it.

As for the cousins who refuse to put in, just exclude them from the funeral

purpleshoes_2

From what the OP has posted she cant pay for it without getting into debt. I couldnt have afforded to pay for my grans funeral or my uncles, even part of it, I didnt have the funds to do so. The issue seems to be here, that no one has the money to pay for this funeral.

meme30

I think that it's fine for you to be frugal in your life in order to make your life better later. Your children will have memories no matter how much you spend on them. I do not think it is your job to pay for your uncles funeral.

allat

Did the uncle leave a will? Who is the executor of the estate? Are there any assets in the estate e.g. a house, money in accounts etc? It is up to the executor, or the next of kin, to arrange the funeral. Banks will release funds from accounts to pay for funeral expenses and the undertaker will advise on this. If there are no assets in the estate the Council will advise on available options. Until these avenues are explored there is no need for an emotional discussion on life styles and yellow sticker foods.

Goldiegirl

meme30 wrote: »

I think that it's fine for you to be frugal in your life in order to make your life better later..

But when does 'later' start?


I know of people who have scrimped all their lives, putting every spare penny into savings for 'when they retire', or 'when the children leave home so we can travel, or for 'the future'


But the scrimping gets to be an ingrained habit, and when they do finally retire or whatever, they may have an investment property that they could sell, or tens or even hundreds of thousands in the bank, but never spend a penny of the money to do anything and carry on living a very basic existence, because they've got it in their heads that they can't afford do anything.


Sometimes it takes the death of a family member to make one realise that life is short and there's no pockets in shrouds.


I'm not suggesting that people blow their life savings in a frenzy of reckless spending.... but there comes a point when the 'future' is NOW, and if you are going to do the things you've always dreamed of, you have to make a start, and spend some of that money!

krlyr

NICHOLAS wrote: »

I'm posh i only buy pre cut fruit in the containers

Most frugal foodies go to iceland and fill the freezer with a million micro meals for 10 pence.

You are probably in the minority

I think i eat a bit more junk food than you though, i don't like making meals at home to take out with me. I'm too lazy.

Take a look around the OS subforum, you'll see that it's certainly not the minority to shop frugally yet healthily. I imagine many of the posters would be horrified at the cost of Iceland microwave meals!

YS (which has come from the exact same shelf as the non-YS stuff) fresh mince, for example, would still make just as healthy and tasty a meal after a month in the freezer as it would fresh (minus a touch loss of texture for some frozen stuff - but you learn what works and what doesn't) - infact, I prefer my bologneses after a few weeks in the freezer, they seem to get a much richer taste.

SophieAH

I completely understand why you feel that way about being singled out to pay for the funeral and it does seem unfair. I'm not sure why others suggest you have a moral obligation to fund an expensive funeral - if your Uncle was content to live at the council's expense, why would it not be ok to have a council-funded funeral? (You could always add a flower arrangement and suggest the cousins do likewise and bring some sandwiches to the wake).

There is nothing wrong with YS food - it is exactly the same food but just needs to be eaten that day or can, in some cases, be frozen. It is not tight to want to get the best deal for your money!

It's great that you are mortgage free and can relax a bit. There is no point in regrets but maybe it's time to start treating yourself and children a little more and taking a bit less of a hard line to the finances. Good luck

HOWMUCH

OP are you sure that there is no money? or insurance policy? People normally have something in place to pay for their funeral. And SIL should not have put your OH name forward to pay for the funeral. I have lead a frugal life and it's help pay for my 2 children's future with regard to education etc. We have our money and spend it how we wish. How many nephew's and niece's did the said uncle have?

monnagran

I've not known any 18 year-old or 21year-old hanker after a party arranged by parents. My own 2, now in their 40s would have hated me to be involved in their celebrations, if they'd wanted them, which they didn't.
Anyway, you have a mortgage-free property and when you finally shuffle off this mortal coil your children will inherit it and hopefully it will give a nice boost to their pensions - if pensions still exist by that time.
Unless of course you make the mistake of living too long and your house has to be sold to pay for Nursing Home fees.

Don't get me started on that one.

x

cazpumpkin

I'm the same as a few other posters here in some respects. Husband and I have saved and bought our house on a fairly low income.

I go shopping with my sister in law regularly she wants to go in every charity shop, she is constantly buying because it's a bit cheaper than new. Take for example saturday, she bought a £3 necklace , £6 skirt and £9 on a pair of shoes, all this in the local charity shops. It's the same thing every week.

None of the clothes that she buys look that great, but it's her choice and I would never dream of spoiling her fun or saying anything as it's none of my business, she always has lots of clothes to choose from, maybe that's what she likes. It's also fun for us to spend time together and a sociable day out for both of us, she's happy, that's what counts.

However in the last 3 months I have shopped online and in my local department store sales. I have bought a Jacques vert cape £250 reduced to £49, that is my coat for next winter. A Windsmoor navy jacket £159 reduced to £19, a Precis dress £89 reduced to £12 , lots of other bits and bobs under £10.

We have both had the same amount of money to spend, I just like less stuff, newer and better quality. Neither one of us are right or wrong. My sister in law always moans about being skint, but while she is sat at home watching telly every night, I go to my evening cleaning jobs after my day job and work hard for my spending money.

I don't buy much less than my sister in law , but I buy newer, better quality and hugely reduced. I won't buy clothing unless it's 70% reduced. I know my sizes in my favourite brands and always wait for massive reductions then stock up.