Am I the biggest fool for being frugal?

PlutoinCapricorn

MSE is a site for frugal people.

In many cases, the more you have of something, the less you appreciate it. It does not make sense to me to do things just for images purposes or just to say you have been there and done that.

It is living dangerously to spend more than you can afford on non-essentials. Perhaps you could compromise by saving in advance for a special holiday, meal out or big treat.

Hillbilly1

It sounds so like my SIL! She buys extravagant gifts for her parents and emails her 2 brothers to chip in their third. I called a halt when she started to divide the costs by 6 - in that partners would be con tributing too!

You are right to live a frugal life. It's your choice and you are in control. Same SIL spends like theres no tomorrow and then is in hysterics if her BTL property is empty for 1 month as they can't afford the tiny mortgage for even a month!!!

I agree with the OP and the cost should be spread among the cousins.

Rainy-Days

PlutoinCapricorn wrote: »

MSE is a site for frugal people.

In many cases, the more you have of something, the less you appreciate it.

^^ This.

Perfect example. I collect Emma Bridgewater, in fact I have a Welsh Dresser full of it. Said aquaintance who blows money like running a tap has very little of value, she collects nothing but clothes and crap for her home and none of it has any real value apart from it being in the fashion at that present moment in time.

My dresser - I love it. I have had it years and it's part of my grandmothers Welsh heritage. I clean it every month, polish it and wash everything on it. I appreciate every single thing on there, I know pretty much when I got it and how much I paid for it.

I was elated last year when I got a huge jug for 80% off the original price. It sits on the corner of my dresser and I appreciate it every day.

Said aquaintance knows the price of everything but the value of nothing. Debt racked up to the enth degree yet stood in my kitchen at my old home and said "oh I wish I collected stuff like you, but don't know where to start". That's it in a nutshell, zero idea other than blowing money on cars, holidays and general tat. If I sold allot of the Bridgewater stuff I would easily make my money back on it with a tidy profit to boot. I have collected it for years and years, spent my birthday and Christmas money on it and I look after all of it.

Cars, clothes, holidays, fancy meals - total depreciation of the three former and the cars value goes pop every year! Bricks and mortar you cannot go wrong. Enjoy and cherish the things you have and make your own memories that have meaning.

comeandgo

you have known for 18 years when your son would turn 18 and you state you are broke? How does he feel knowing you have nothing put past for his big day but spent thousands on property?

tessie_bear

imho you have it spot on ...a good solid life that is what it is...not a life of pretending to be something you arent and owning things that you dont

i dont think relative should be offering your money to pay for anything unless you have agreed and you need to sit down with all parties and sort that out....i think the barbie sounds very nice i hope u enjoy it but watch the weather
tessa

Toothsmith

dandy-candy wrote: »

Sorry but this will be a rant...

I've never liked to have credit so DH and I have always lived frugally so we could put a bit by each week and save.
We have three kids, the eldest is 22, and they have had 4 cheap one week holidays abroad in their life.
I've never own a new car, my current one is 7 years old and covered in debts and scrapes.
My clothes are all Primark or charity shops.
The food in our fridge is all yellow sticker.
For our honeymoon we did 3 nights in a best western in Suffolk.

I am very proud because living like this has meant my DH could buy his sisters share of FIL house mortgage free. We used all our savings and my inheritance from when my mum died to do this, and we have a small amount left to re wire and plumb the house as this hasn't been done for 60 years.

DH uncle has just died and although he has no kids there are lots of cousins.
These cousins holiday abroad every year in expensive places like America, which my kids have never seen. They have nice new cars like Audis that they replace every 3 years. One just gave her daughter a fancy birthday party at a casino in London. Last year she married and took all her family on the honeymoon cruise in the med. And now suddenly they are saying they don't have money for uncles funeral. What is worse is DH sister turned around and said that she and DH will foot the bill - without even asking us!

Are we complete fools for not just blowing our money on having nice things? DS2 is 18 in three weeks time and is having a BBQ in the back garden as I can't spare the money for anything fancy. It won't be anything to remember all his life. I don't know if I'm living life all wrong here. What do you think?

We do what makes us happy.

If you gain happiness from the feeling that you have some money in the bank, and few if any debts, and you like the security that something is put by in case times get hard - then you will be happy from your life choices.

Others look at life as "Whats the point of dying with a load of money in the bank?" You only get one life - go for it! Enjoy it. If you earn it, or someone's stupid enough to lend you it - then why worry?

It's two ends of a spectrum - and so long as you're happy in the slot that you have - then that's all that matters.

But I agree with above. It's not for you to pay for this funeral, just because you have a bit put by. The funeral costs do come out of the estate - so nobody needs to pay for it, and if the deceased has little money - then deceased gets budget funeral, unless all chip in the same, is what I'd say!

pelirocco

I really don't know why you are ranting , it's non of your business how they spent their money. At first I thought the cousins were the uncles children but have just reread the post to see he has no children

It's up to you , if you are happy for him to have a basic state paid funeral then go for it , if not pay for it , if you have the money

Saving is good but saving for the sake of saving makes no sense . I once read someone's signature on here that said save some , spend some , invest some which seems wise advice

maman

I couldn't tell you how it works for someone that dies with no money at all, fortunately never been in that position, but I agree ask on the funerals board and try not to pay more than a fair share. That being said, if it was my uncle I'd have to pay however furious I was with the cousins.

dandy-candy wrote: »

I have wondered about that as they are all about 10/15 years off retirement age with mortgages, debts etc. but they will have lovely memories of fancy meals, holidays etc; which none of my lot have

I'm hearing the posters who say frugality is a choice you've made OP. I don't have a problem with that. What really infuriates me (and that's speaking as a leftie) is the people that choose to spend all their disposable income (and more) and then when it comes to retirement they can claim benefits. So why should I save for a rainy day, continue to pay tax on my savings and pension and then see my tax wasted on people like that.:mad:

Rainy-Days wrote: »

Perfect example. I collect Emma Bridgewater, in fact I have a Welsh Dresser full of it. Said aquaintance who blows money like running a tap has very little of value, she collects nothing but clothes and crap for her home and none of it has any real value apart from it being in the fashion at that present moment in time.

Just had to comment on this.:) I know two people who have totally different attitudes to money. One collects (and uses!) EB and has a few but quality clothes. Her period home has few new things but many bits from Welsh grandmother. The other is constantly buying carp both for the house in redecorating, changing colour schemes, furniture and so all ornaments/crockery every couple of years get changed and wears a load of cheap tat that looks scruffy in no time. I know which way of life suits me best.;)

PlutoinCapricorn

Being frugal and thrifty does not mean being miserly, not does it necessarily entail a life of deprivation and discomfort. You just buy and do what you can afford and enjoy. It seems crazy to buy clothes that you never wear to me.

The day of reckoning will come for people who habitually live beyond their means.

suki1964

I have a nice car and trade it in every three years, not on HP or contract. It's mine. I just choose not to let it dip in price so much that I have to fork out more then I can afford to start again.

I also live very frugally. Every penny is made to work. This week for example I got one ham hock for two quid and so far it's given 6 portions of soup, 6 rounds of sandwiches and the remains have just been turned into a 6 portion quiche

We own our home and cars outright ( other car is 13 years old). We own everything we have in the home and garden. Nothing we buy is on Hp unless we get zero percent

Our holidays are cheapo self catering out of season. Our wedding 10 years ago was in the back garden with close family and friends only, total cost including frock and honeymoon We, hubby and I , as well as guests all have fantastic memories of that day. We also always have great memories of holidays and family days, even if they have only been barbies in the back garden

Right now we are squirreling away money for our retirement We don't have too many years ahead of us. We don't want to be a burden on the state so are looking to save enough for care homes if needed. It means that at a time in our lives when we "should" be looking at cruises and the such, we aren't We are looking ahead to secure our future without having to rely on the the goverment. Means the children haven't done as well out of us as some have ( yes we still paid for cars, insurance and helping towards weddings) but we are more interested in a secure family then worrying about a possible interest rate hike knocking us of our perches

There's nothing wrong with living within your means. You will give your children a great grounding and provide them with long lasting memories no matter what. You will be more thought off for providing a stable life then one that is feast or famine