38 and Single :o(

*max*

I'm available for PM's too, just in case...:p

neatheyc

Primrose wrote: »

Are you politically motivated or interested in one particular political party? We are nine days away from a General Election which only happens once every few years. All the political parties are looking for helpers doing all kinds of volunteering things like stuffing envelopes, etc. Why not contact the constituency office of your political inclination and offer some help It's only for nine days and you might meet some interesting new people to help give your social life a kick start. And after the election you can walk away, at least having had one new experience.

Hiya,

Thanks for the good suggestion. Unfortunately, politics bore me big time! Sounds bad, but I really do not have an interest as I think the majority of politicians are liars.

neatheyc

uk_american wrote: »

Late to join your thread but just took a quite peek at your profile. I met my other half (together 2 years) on POF after trying POF, match and eharmony.

One quick comment, your profile and photos are lovely! Whilst you describe yourself well, as a female on these sites, I really liked when someone would say what type of lady they were seeking. For example, you say that you're half Dutch and family/friends are important to you. Does that mean you go back to Holland and would like a lady who likes to visit other places? A homebody might be hesitant if so, or someone who's also a cultural mix will completely understand if your home is both places...but it's not clear.

Personally, I found a lot of POF profiles featured drink, so I'd swap your 1st pic with one of your other two. Whilst I like a drink, I'd put it in the second photo. And personally I loved ones who featured pets or nieces/nephews, so maybe a further marketing idea. ;-)

I found it helpful to ask questions in my profile like, 'Do you like running in the forests on a sunny day? Will you visit a garden centre with me on the first weekend in November?' Whilst your profile says that you like to do these things, it needs to be more female oriented, so that you're engaging her, from her perspective.

Hope this helps! As I'm 5.5 and don't wear heels, you're the type of profile that I was searching for so have read many similar profiles. I think yours is quite interesting!

Thanks for the advice. I thought I did have something on there already about what type of person I was looking for. I will have a review and see what kind of things I can change.

I don't like the idea of having niece and nephews in the photo because a) Don't want to display them all over the net and b) I think some girls would get the first impression that they were my children.

I try not to put too much information into the profile as I think it's good to ask more questions if you're interested.

purpleshoes_2

Maybe you need to concentrate on being ok with being single so that when someone does turn up there won't be so much pressure on it to work.

You've only been single a few months, not long in the scheme of things

indesisiv

Get out there and do things that you enjoy doing.Try new things. You will then inevitably meet new people through that, and already have something in common that you enjoy doing.
A few months single is a good chance to use your free time to enjoy life.
I have been single just over a year and am in no rush to meet anyone as I really enjoy being able to go places on a weekend without too much planning, however, if I met the right girl then I have my own interests which I think helps.

I'm 38, single male and haven't been happier than I am now for years and years.

Toomuchdebt

neatheyc wrote: »

Yeah I agree with this. I really believe the women have a vast choice to pick from as there are far more men on there than women.

Which is why I am thinking of biting the bullet and going to a paid site as I feel there would be less men looking for one night stands. Can't decide between Match or Zoosk.

Nope, not the women with kids anyway. I've been single 4 years now and I know for a fact it's because I have kids. I don't look my age(I'm 44 but look in my 30's which is nice) but the only men to message me are a) just looking for sex, b)married c) want kids(I have 6-no way am I having any more) or d)just want to talk about sex. I've given up now tbh.

southoftheriver

neatheyc wrote: »

Thanks for the advice. I thought I did have something on there already about what type of person I was looking for. I will have a review and see what kind of things I can change.

I don't like the idea of having niece and nephews in the photo because a) Don't want to display them all over the net and b) I think some girls would get the first impression that they were my children.

I try not to put too much information into the profile as I think it's good to ask more questions if you're interested.

I think your instincts are right (in my opinion). I don't think I would have been drawn to a profile with pictures of children for the reasons you have stated. I also liked discovering more about a person through messages initially and then meeting up. Sometimes there can be so much information in a profile it can be a bit overwhelming.

I do agree with what someone else wrote in that I made better choices when my life overall was better. When I met my now fiance I was happy in my life and that meant I wasn't trying to fill a hole as such. Not that that applies to you, but it was interesting to see the difference in myself.

purpleshoes_2

Toomuchdebt wrote: »

Nope, not the women with kids anyway. I've been single 4 years now and I know for a fact it's because I have kids. I don't look my age(I'm 44 but look in my 30's which is nice) but the only men to message me are a) just looking for sex, b)married c) want kids(I have 6-no way am I having any more) or d)just want to talk about sex. I've given up now tbh.

Vast choice to pick from? I was on and off POF for a couple of years. I would have been happy to meet someone and just go for a drink. Instead I got people messaging me (anyone will do, Ive just said hi to you but I want to take you out tonight). The scattergun merchants, people who would send you a screed and then a couple of months later, exactly the same copy and pasted. The folk who would message you demanding to know your address so they could come round and give you one. The ones wanting to write you romantic poetry (before anyone asks whats wrong with this, it creeps you out when you barely know anyone). The liars and chancers, when I very briefly dated someone who I got to know through the forums, he moved house and changed his location but oddly enough forgot to say he was dating someone, did a full update of his profile, but missed that bit out. And the psychos and I dont say that word lightly.

Im not high maintenance. I never went on pof for an ego boost or just to log in and go, look at me, how many messages have I got today. I dont waste people's time either and if someone does message me unless they are very rude I'll reply.

It actually cheeses me off when people say that women on dating sites don't treat men well because they have so many options to choose from. That wasn't the case for me. Ive also more or less resigned myself to being single and I'm not unhappy about that, my life is my life and I enjoy it.

But I do think that being 40 something, female, single with or without kids is terribly hard on sites like that. I also dont think POF is any different from most of the paid sites. I also know a few couples who met on POF and are really happy, but I first put a profile up on POF on my 40th birthday, Im 46 now, in that entire time Ive yet to find someone who just wanted to go for a drink and who for one reason or another, didn't act like a complete idiot.

deedee71

*max* wrote: »

I'm available for PM's too, just in case...:p

Me too :rotfl:

Rowan_moon

I met my husband on Guardian Soulmates after taking this advice from a very wise friend.
She said before you start, write a list of all the qualities you are looking for in a partner.
Next, make sure YOU also have those qualities (if not, work on it). Do you want someone fun? What do YOU do that is fun? Want someone honest? How easy is it for YOU to be honest in a relationship. Want someone who is caring? What do you do in your day to day life that is caring?

You get the picture.

There is someone out there for everyone.