exs new boyfriend

theend?

Been split with my wife now for few months and she has now met someone else out of the blue, shes met him online and has pretty much moved in with him. No one from her family or her friends etc know the guy. We have two children that live with me, that she has at the weekend I dont want to be seen as a madman but is there anywhere you can check up on people to see if he has a criminal record etc just to put my mind at ease that hes not some loony bin.

Nothing has been sorted or discussed yet with regards the children staying over at his they usually go to her mothers on a saturday which is were she was staying and obviously will speak and sort out things bit early to be chatting to her about it at the moment.

gettingtheresometime

Clare's law any use?

marisco_2

I would recommend being completely upfront and honest about your concerns with your ex. Any logical, rational thinking woman would have no issue with putting the father of her children's mind at rest, and discussing with him about someone she had recently met and would be introducing them too. That just shows signs of being a loving, caring and responsible dad.

theend?

Just had a quick read up on it and I dont think it would work for me. need to be enquired by the person in the relationship or a close family member, I dont think ex husband would count...
Dont think it would go down very well if I asked her to do the check, no suspisions of anything going on I havent even met the guy.

iammumtoone

theend? wrote: »

Just had a quick read up on it and I dont think it would work for me. need to be enquired by the person in the relationship or a close family member

If a father isn't a close family member I don't know who is :eek: I think the problem you will have is finding out the details needed for the check (not sure what details they need but I can image its more than just a name)

theend?

marisico
will be doing that and i dont think for one minute so would take the kids anywhere near if she thought anything was amiss but its not easy to judge when youve not know someone long. it was just to put my mind at ease just wondered if there was any simple check you could do on people.

Peter333

theend? wrote: »

Been split with my wife now for few months and she has now met someone else out of the blue, shes met him online and has pretty much moved in with him. No one from her family or her friends etc know the guy. We have two children that live with me, that she has at the weekend I dont want to be seen as a madman but is there anywhere you can check up on people to see if he has a criminal record etc just to put my mind at ease that hes not some loony bin.

Nothing has been sorted or discussed yet with regards the children staying over at his they usually go to her mothers on a saturday which is were she was staying and obviously will speak and sort out things bit early to be chatting to her about it at the moment.

I would NOT be happy about this. And I would let her know it too!

Tell her the kids can stay - but not with said random-guy-off-the-internet there. He could be absolutely ANYONE. No WAY would I let my kids go stay with this man.

Call the police tomorrow or the council or social services, (or all three!) and ask how you can look into this guy. They are your children. You have every right.

theend?

the clares law seems to be for the person in the relationship and you have to go to the police station and provide details etc which i dont have.
i think they would possibly contact her as well and dont want her to think im trying to make problems.

iammumtoone

Peter333 wrote: »

I would NOT be happy about this. And I would let her know it too!

Tell her the kids can stay - but not with said random-guy-off-the-internet there. He could be absolutely ANYONE. No WAY would I let my kids go stay with this man.

Call the police tomorrow or the council or social services, (or all three!) and ask how you can look into this guy. They are your children. You have every right.

Big assumption on the mother there.

The father does not even know if the kids are staying with this new man yet, he has every right to investigate what his options are but not go in all guns blazing for all he knows the mother could be intending to do the check herself before getting fully involved with this man.

theend?

nothings been organised for the kids to stay yet shes going her mums when she has them, but assumming she sticks with him eventually it will obviously come up. no intentions of letting them go until I know more but others must have come across this before just looking for a point in the right direction,

Peter333

iammumtoone wrote: »

Big assumption on the mother there.

The father does not even know if the kids are staying with this new man yet, he has every right to investigate what his options are but not go in all guns blazing for all he knows the mother could be intending to do the check herself before getting fully involved with this man.

So what is my 'big assumption' on the mother then?

Do enlighten me

I ASSUME you read the OP where he said the new man has PRETTY MUCH MOVED IN.

Perhaps you should read posts thoroughly before you respond to anyone else's posts!