Online dating: Has this ever happened to you?

paddyrg

Don't start a relationship with a major lie - especially with a 10-year age difference which you're already uncomfortable with. It's easy to be a smooth-tongued lothario online.

themull1

i met a man online and married him - not instantly obviously!! i didnt pay though, i went for a free dating website, but i would say approx half the people on there are not what they seem. Meet up with this man, see what he's like in real life.

Alias_Omega

People are different in real life, meet up then go from there.


You might not talk after meeting up, or you may. That's the way it goes....or did...

EchoLocation

Hardly crime of the century is it - what are you more bothered about, the lie or the age gap? Are you annoyed perhaps because he was right in that you wouldn't have bothered with him had you known his real age?

It might well turn out that he is an untrustworthy serial liar, or it might turn out that he's a decent guy who likes you and just told a harmless lie so you would give him a chance rather than dismiss him outright because of an ultimately meaningless number.

You now of course have the opportunity to see how he reacts should you contact him again. But, if the age gap is insurmountable to you then just let it go and leave him be, the longer it drags on the more hurt they will be.

[Deleted User]

I lied about my age when i joined a dating website - i said i was 44 when actually i was 49. I did it because i wanted to meet men my own age and most men go for younger women. I didn't 'confess' to my now husband until we had been dating a few months and my birthday was coming up. He just laughed it off. Really, what's the big deal?

SailorSam

It's not nice to be lied to, but when he first started chatting you were only 'chat buddies' and is 10yrs a big age difference anyway, it's may be if you were 16 and he was 26. But not at your age.
There are a couple of older threads on here somewhere where posters have talked about the age gap between them and their partner, some are a lot more than 10yrs.

DevilsAdvocate1

Mileeta wrote: »

It makes me think there has been more lies. A relationship is built on trust and without trust you have nothing.

Well, my mum and dad have been together for nearly 50 years, and for the first 25 she lied about her age. She took 9 years off her age to be exact, because she was 9 years older than him and she didn't think he'd look at her if he knew her real age!

He knows her age now. Don't think she lied about anything else. They're still together.

SailorSam

What did she say ?
"Do you know you've been sending me birthday cards with the wrong numbers on for the last 25yrs"

FatVonD

I lied about my age on dating sites, I was 46 and said I was 39 to get into the 30-40 bracket in searches. I scrub up alright for my age (if I say so myself! ) and have always dated much younger men and there's no way I was going to be consigned to the 40-50 age bracket (and 50-60 year olds searching it.)

I did however 'fess up whenever someone messaged me and it was never a problem. Come to think of it I lied about having a child too (ie said I didn't) as I didn't want to attract the type that target single mums hoping to get close to their kids.

I met my husband on a dating site (he is 7 years younger than me) and he is lovely but I also met some complete freaks. I had a couple of long term relationships before internet dating and lots of casual boyfriends inbetween those but in nearly 30 years of relationships/dating in real life I never met as many freaks as I met in the short time I spent online dating.

System

At least he's owned up eventually. Its so easy to puff yourself up to sound like this super person that everyone will like but not so easy to own up afterwards. I hope he's learned his lesson.

Contact him and ask him if he's got any other surprises. Then you can start again with a clean slate.

Its a shame to end the friendship when you both get on so well.