Tips for maintaining friendships whilst paying off debts

Newlifer

They are a great idea but I have found there are non locally, seems to be an urban thing only sadly as rural areas would really benefit from them. WI is just a bit too old fashioned for me. I know anyone can set up a meet up group but I just don't have the energy or confidence to do that just now.

Love your pot luck dinner idea.

JasX

Newlifer wrote: »

They are a great idea but I have found there are non locally, seems to be an urban thing only sadly

Aye, but with Gaia mentioning being greater London based it definitely seemed worth bringing up!

That said there are probably ways to do 'meetup like' things somewhere rural/smaller if you take a slightly different tack. You do need meetup type sites in a big urban area to get word out across the whole 'catchment area' efficiently... in a smaller cluster of villages or town you could probably setup a coffee / walking / 'activity X' group via any prominent community noticeboard or local paper notice or something else that'll reach people easily just as well (actually now I mention it our local paper covered the local dining club meetup group a while back which gave it a definite membership boost!).

On the meetup front one group I started going to when newly single back in 2012 I've ended up co-running... except it since got a little too popular for it's own good and now has 2500 members!! -rather than the original gathering around 2-3 tables in a corner of a pub it's turned into a bit of an exercise in crowd control at times _pale_

But it's something to do

Newlifer

Wow JasX you ever thought of a career in events organisation! That's an incredible number. Around here it's not unusual for dogs attending events to outnumber people. You are right I'm just going to have to be proactive or travel to meet up group already established. You were so right bringing to the collectives attention as I'm sure many on here will benefit from them.

Gaia2014

Deleted%20User wrote: »

Just wanted to nip in know as how hard it can be about babies, take heart, you've been with someone before, you'll get with someone again, there is always time

I've said it before ages ago now, but f-book for friends and least keeping in when times are hard and you don't want to see anyone are just as good, I have as many a 'friend' on that even from the past who I probably wouldn't have kept in touch with y'know without so still feel privileged xx

Deleted User; Thank you for this reply. i've just re-read this and I need to stay focused on this (particularly the bit about babies and relationships). Sometimes I need reminding ...a little bit of me is holding back because I'm intent on being debt free by next Summer. My budget doesn't leave much room for manoeuvre and making the best of myself in terms of hair, make up and clothes etc. I know these things aren't the be all and end all, but obviously help with feeling more confident etc, etc. To be honest I'm not feeling as confident as I could be in the relationship department (work wise I'm fine).

I'm missing the presence of a SO today, more than usual. Not sure why. Most of the time I'm ok. Just feel lonely I guess. Despite being around people all day .

Gaia2014

Newlifer wrote: »

Wow JasX you ever thought of a career in events organisation! That's an incredible number. Around here it's not unusual for dogs attending events to outnumber people. You are right I'm just going to have to be proactive or travel to meet up group already established. You were so right bringing to the collectives attention as I'm sure many on here will benefit from them.

That's some meet-up group . Very impressive. Fantastic way to meet new people and make new friends. I've joined a couple of meet ups - dog walking and the like. But, most of the walks are during the week (I work full time) so it's not possible to attend. I used to belong to a walking group which evolved through work colleagues but it eventually fizzled out and then I moved.

Will get my :dance: into gear soon.

Hope everybody is doing ok.

Newlifer

Gaia what are your strategies with dealing with the loneliness you describe? I too get caught unawares and feel lonely at the oddest of times but especially first thing and last thing in the day. Sunday's can be tough too.

Gaia2014

Distraction. Usually watching catch up TV and real life documentaries or phoning a friend. I miss the physical presence of a SO. Don't enjoy being single although I don't Need a SO if that makes sense... Hope you have a good day.

JasX

Gaia2014 wrote: »

But, most of the walks are during the week (I work full time) so it's not possible to attend. .

That's odd, most of the walking things I spotted have tended to be Saturday lunchtime/sunday afternoon affairs.

Anyway so far so good this week, weekend planning so far comprises a free 'introductory level' web coding skills class happening in a local coffee shop Sunday evening I stumbled on locally via meetup, the meetup group I run is happening saturday afternoon and the saturday evening plan is a local orchestral concert afterwards (£8 ticket outlay there) with a handful of regulars from the afternoon group.

I can see a few extra £s needing springing for the odd cup of tea but I'm not planning to eat anything other than at home out of fridge/freezer all weekend so things are looking both sociable and reasonably economical b)

(and the train/underground travel is all covered on the period travelcard I need to buy for work already!)

Newlifer

Well JasX you have inspired me! I'm going walking with a friend later now. So beautiful out. Rentals are treating me to the cinema later too so a nice day ahead. Will face dreaded divorce paperwork tomorrow. Bit of a cop out been need a distress day.

Tell me how do you find running a meet up group? What does it entail and how much time do you find it takes?

hostie

It costs money to start a meet up group Newlifer. I think it costs about £8 per month or about $10. It could be a good investment for you.
I go to a 30s one and love it (many people are in their 40s but I find that going to one arranged by age allows you to meet people your own age and do lots of different things). There are also 20s groups and 40s, 50s and beyond groups. Although one girl has control of the group, she has set it so anyone can post events so we have everything from regular pub nights, to cinema outings, walks, pottery, cycling, sports and holidays.
It won't take you much time to start with as it will probably take a few months before you get a few people to join. It could be really positive for you and build your confidence if it grows.

If you don't fancy a meet up group you could always join one of the free dating groups like OKCupid and say on your profile that you are looking for platonic friends as well as a romantic partner.