Tips for maintaining friendships whilst paying off debts

Newlifer

Thanks QB worked a treat and can now find this thread easily. JasX you are so right re needing to meet new like minded people. Gaia we might be miles apart but in reality thanks to Internet we are right by each other's sides!

Sorry for my delayed replies by the way I managed to get myself locked out somehow and only just made it back in. Have dragged myself into the 21st century and got a iPad, just need to master how to work it now then!

Gaia what you said re finding being an introvert difficult when others consider you an extrovert I can so relate to. I said to a work colleague that I consider myself to be quite shy and they just laughed at me and said I'm an extrovert. Think we have both taken some v hard knocks and possibly we have both lost confidence to some degree. My current plan is to completely fake how I am feeling at times so I don't appear too vulnerable externally but just allow myself to fully feel in private. I feel safe when in bed so have been going to bed earlier and reading. Also have got up early and made myself go outside as it's lovely out. Little regular bits of human contact help me such as making sure I speak to the postie and always go to manned isles in supermarkets.

Do you like any sports? I'm thinking of joining a tennis club. Frankly I'm pants at tennis but will improve a bit with practice but I know I'll meet new people that way.

I find it quietly satisfying getting in my bike,saving petrol and cycling to local shops. They are 4 miles away but get to people out walking and other cyclists for a friendly hello. Also don't know whether you'd enjoy it or not but you can meet quite a lot of friendly people by getting an allotment. Lots of sharing of brews and produce in my experience. Just a thought anyway.

Newlifer

As you can probably tell from the times of my posts I'm struggling to sleep. I find early mornings and late evenings the most difficult times when I feel the most alone. What do you do to prevent loneliness at these times? My cat is lovely but doesn't completely remove my loneliness.

Gaia2014

Hi Newlifer... It's tough isn't it. I am an early bird too. Up at 6am for work. 8am a lie in. I tend to take myself to a local coffee bar and read the papers, people watch etc...i find it helpful to plan weekends in advance to avoid feeling s of lonliness. Evetually I would like to start dating, but not quite ready yet. I hope you have a good weekend. Typing on my mobile phone so apologies for any typos 😊

the_padster

Things are a little tight finance wise in our household at the moment and we have really tightened the moneybelt.
We have friends who have a lot more money than my wife and I, but thankfully unlike your so called friends, they don't push it on us.
Money is not happiness, most of the time it can be the total opposite. Keeping up with the Joneses can be an expensive lesson.
Our friends and us started our own rambling club or you can join a rambling club.. Twice a month we take turns to organise a walk and take a packed lunch, pretty cheap and nice day out. On one of those walks we might pop into the odd pub for a pint or two. You can purchase a railcard, a bit of a financial layout at first, but if you make good use of it, you will get your monies worth.
And if you search the web, there are lots of free music events. just take your own picnic.
It will get you out and you will make new friends.
The best things in life are free :T

Gaia2014

Morning. Great ideas. Funnily enough I was part of a walking group before I moved to London. It fizzled out eventually. But we had fun... Exhilarating and sociable. The pub stops were good too 😊.

Things don't have to cost money. The best things e.g love, friends, food on your plate etc, etc. Material things don't bring happiness but money can make certain things possible (in my current situation). But things could be a lot worse. Anyway, here's to a debt free future 😊.

Newlifer

Welcome padster. You are so right that money doesn't equate to happiness. In my experience those who are aware they have money are those who appear to struggle the most just being who they genuinely are and feel the need to compete or judge. As I've got older ive got less materialistic and have opened my eyes to the most valuable attributes that friends can bring-a good heart, kindness, humour, support, honestly-non of which cost a bean. They are the people with integrity.

I am having to move as a result of my divorce and am trying to think of cheap things I can do to be sociable with neighbours/people who I meet locally so I can get to know them a bit. Ideas so far are:
-invite people round for a bbq / bring a bottle
-ask friends to join me on a bike ride
-make jam and give some away as a gift to start the relationship with neighbours
-there aren't any local meet up groups so am considering starting one
Well that's it so far really. I perhaps need to get a bit more creative.

I find every time I manage to do something either for free or for v little it is v motivating as I feel that I am making double progress, getting to know people plus helping to stay within my rather tight budget.

Now that the weather is improving there must be heaps of outdoors things to do. Treasure hunts etc can be fun.

Anyway enough of my rambling I hope you are full of chocolate and enjoying Easter ��

barbarawright

Gaia2014 wrote: »

Morning. Great ideas. Funnily enough I was part of a walking group before I moved to London. It fizzled out eventually. But we had fun... Exhilarating and sociable. The pub stops were good too 😊.

Things don't have to cost money. The best things e.g love, friends, food on your plate etc, etc. Material things don't bring happiness but money can make certain things possible (in my current situation). But things could be a lot worse. Anyway, here's to a debt free future 😊.

A great thing to do in London is just do your own walks. Get a book from the library (I really like Andrew Duncan's books of walks) and go and walk round Clerkenwell or Bloomsbury or the City or wherever. Take sandwiches and a flask and it won't cost you a thing. But I bet if you mention it to others, you get someone to join you. And if you are the organiser, it's your rules so if you want to make it picnic rather than pub lunch, you get to decide. You can always buy a couple or cans or take a cheap bottle of wine

Gaia2014

Thanks Barbara. I used to walk everywhere (alone) when I lived in Central London armed with an A-Z. Not so much these days due to working full time and moving to the outskirts of London. But, your idea appeals to me (especially with a friend or two). Plenty of attractions...

These days I am feeling a bit agoraphobic due to my circumstances and and recent LT relationship breakdown... But, hopefully things will pick up soon and I'll start doing more outside my flat... One thing is for sure, walking definitely helped lift my mood back in the day!...

Hope everyone is having a nice weekend. This is the first year that I have not had an Easter Egg - I feel deprived . May have to look for a bargain tomorrow .

Newlifer

Gaia hope found some chockie bargains! Rude not to look anyway. It is hard making yourself leave the house when feeling low. My friends pretty much ordered me to get out and see people and it does help having human contact. I envy you having lots of local sites to see. Around here despite me loving the green the only real sites are cows and lots of them unless I get in the car. It's the wrong time of the year for it but I do go foraging for berries a bit.

Hope you enjoy your walk if you do venture out.

Gaia2014

Not yet, I thought I would go on an Easter egg hunt this afternoon... probably in a certain well known supermarket :j I used to get loads when I was a child. No wonder I have got a few fillings

Foraging sounds fun. You must live in the country. I keep swinging from craving the country/seaside life to life in the town. A mixture of the two would be ideal. There are lots of things to do down here but funnily enough when things are on your doorstep sometimes they get overlooked...grass is always greener I guess...

Lovely Spring day down here. I tend to feel a bit better in the Spring/Autumn (temperate climates) and generally more positive about the future. It's a case of taking one step at a time and being open to opportunities. I'm still trying to process events of the past year or two. It's hard to trust again, but I know I'm going to have to take a few risks otherwise nothing will change.

Hope you are having a good day.