Coping with a toddler and a newborn.

bylromarha

You'll be fine. 22 months between mine.

You just smile every day at your blessings, realise it's ok to rely on the TV babysitter some days when you've been awake all night with the new one, recognise that if they are both crying, you can't deal with both of them at the same time. Acknowledge that a messy house means 2 well looked after and loved babies that get your time.

I agree the thought is scary. Our 2nd is "the happy accident" as we wanted a much bigger gap between ours, but now we're 8 years on, we wouldn't have it any other way.

One piece of advice for now is to train your child to be a little more independent in small ways. Take their cup/plate to the kitchen - you currently have time to collect the crumbs while they learn. Put their shoes in a certain place when they take them off. Tidy toys when they are done with them. Help them learn how to play independently/look at a book alone. Those small things taught now will make a HUGE difference to life with 2.

All the best.

Counting_Pennies_2

I found myself rushing around all the time then became manic and found it hard to cope.


By limiting myself to one outing a day it helped us keep to routine the rest of the day, and also created a calm environment for all.


So if you go to a soft play centre, make sure on the way there or back you pop to the shops if you need to pick something up. So you only pack the car/buggy up once and haul everyone about.


Don't be afraid to ask for help. If the cleaning needs help, look to have a cleaner in once a fortnight for the first few months. If cooking is tricky, start batch cooking in advance of the birth so you are sorted on meals for the first few months.

jackomdj

Just remember baby number two has to fit in more to family life, baby no one IS family life.

What I mean is my focus (oh worked abroad when they were little) for our eldest was her. She had a nap time, she had routine etc. when DD 2 came along 2 1/2 years later she had to fit in. She was dragged along to toddler groups, DD1 was just learning how to use the toilet and the baby would often be put on the bathroom floor whilst I wiped her sisters bum, eldest had a baby bath youngest was in the bath with her sister, youngest would be in her pram at the side of the pool whilst eldest had lessons.

Lots of examples but the baby just had to fit in!

Bluemeanie_2

Thank you all again. Now to decide which double to get! Think it's going be the Bugaboo Donkey!

nearlyrich

I had a gap of 17 months and my SIL had 14 months we had our older two six weeks apart and the younger two a month apart. I took every offer of help from family and friends, my younger siblings were excited to be aunties and uncles so we got lots of offers.. Just remember you will get though it and the great thing about them being close in age is that they are still close and have a shared circle of friends.

*Diva*

theres an 11 month gap between my 2..my newborn is nearly ten weeks old and my first born just turned one. when i found out i was pregnant i was happy but sooooo scared..how on earth would i manage? and then the thought of going through labour ALL OVER AGAIN when my body hasnt even recovered the first time.
but guess wat I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT! once the pregnancy and labour bit was over we are now jus settling in we have help from my sisters and mum. they will take my 1 year old so she can play at their house a few hours a week and it really helps! my house is spotless, dinner is always made and kids always fed and happy.
I THINK the key is to not think oh crap how am i going to deal with..its to just get up and deal with it..and if they both cry i always tend to the oldest one first because shes normally just pushed her dummy through the fireguard..or seen a toy she cant reach under the table etc... i also make them have their naps at seperate times because i find it easier...also when people ask me how im coping instead of shouting from the rooftop that i am doing wonderful i just say im fine every day is a new challenge... just dontwanto make it look too easyand then not get any help LOL

krustylouise

No offence DIVA but not everyone has help from family. Personally we don't have anyone to come and take any of the kids away for a few hours. I do agree with you though that dwelling on it won't help. I would advise people to be kind to themselves. If the pots aren't done or the hoovering hasnt been done for 2 days don't feel guilty.

wishies_x

Congrats we had a happy suprise but just like you I was worried about the age gap, there is 18 months between ours, we have been lucky and our new little addition is a great sleeper during the night so I feel pretty much ready to take on anything. It's actually made things easier, they are just over 2 and 8 months at the moment and even this early they are little best friends and they occupy each other (dont get me wrong .. he is going through terrible two's so it certainly isnt super easy all the time and at times I want to pull my hair out but its not as bad as you imagine it would be. You've already made the biggest change in your life, the second kind of just fits in with what you already have xx

andrewmp

Bluemeanie wrote: »

Hello,

I've unexpectedly fell pregnant (which I'm happy about.) However, it's resulted in a closer in age gap than I personally felt was ideal. DD will be a few weeks over two when the new baby is due amd I'm worried I won't cope very well.

DD is in a good routine and has slept through since 7 weeks, but she is demanding in the day. She is into everything and is always running about.

Any tips?

I've got three kids, all close together, 33 months, 20 months and 8 months. It's hard work obviously, the wife looks after them while i'm at work though, so she does most the hard work.

xHannahx

20 months between mine, and the eldest was jealous of new baby, but now they are 3 & 4 the age gap seems perfect as they play with similar things and like similar things and get on and play so nicely with each other.
Hubby took the older one out and treated her which stopped the jealousy, and grandparents took her on holiday when the baby was about 6 weeks old so she got a lot of attention which seemed to help.