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Coping with a toddler and a newborn.

Bluemeanie_2
Posts: 1,076 Forumite
Hello,
I've unexpectedly fell pregnant (which I'm happy about.) However, it's resulted in a closer in age gap than I personally felt was ideal. DD will be a few weeks over two when the new baby is due amd I'm worried I won't cope very well.
DD is in a good routine and has slept through since 7 weeks, but she is demanding in the day. She is into everything and is always running about.
Any tips?
I've unexpectedly fell pregnant (which I'm happy about.) However, it's resulted in a closer in age gap than I personally felt was ideal. DD will be a few weeks over two when the new baby is due amd I'm worried I won't cope very well.
DD is in a good routine and has slept through since 7 weeks, but she is demanding in the day. She is into everything and is always running about.
Any tips?
I'm never offended by debate & opinions. As a wise man called Voltaire once said, "I disagree with what you say, but will defend until death your right to say it."
Mortgage is my only debt - Original mortgage - January 2008 = £88,400, March 2014 = £47,000 Chipping away slowly! Now saving to move.
Mortgage is my only debt - Original mortgage - January 2008 = £88,400, March 2014 = £47,000 Chipping away slowly! Now saving to move.
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Comments
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I found my sling a life saver! I went to a local sling library to make sure I was wearing it properly.
Start prepping your DD for life with a baby, talk about what babies do, sleep, eat, poo, cry etc. Start getting her to wait for a minute or two for things.
I printed a little book for my DS of him growing up, made a story of it which we read as a bedtime story. I think it helped him relate, have more patience when DD arrived.
Ummmmm, trying to think of other things we did.......
I had lots of little presents wrapped up for DS so that when DD got given presents he didn't feel left out, nothing expensive just little cars from the charity shop.
I also warned all visitors that they needed to pay attention/play with DS when they came.
You will be fine hunAnd having a small age gap means you may get both napping at the same time. I really miss those days.....
Currently studying for a Diploma - wish me luck
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The gap between mine is just under 2 years, and if I'd had more I definitely would have liked a similar gap. I can't give you any tips, Id just relocated hundreds of miles from home with no family or friends to help, so I did just have to plod on, but there were many things that were easier about it. I didn't have to juggle school runs with feed times, and I got all the baby stages over and done with in one go. And now they are the best of friends, they are very close. Congratulations :-)0
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The age gap between my DD and my DS is 25 months and it's been hard in certain areas but it's I found it a sink or swim thing really. Just keep plodding on, whilst DS was really tiny not much changed, it's only since he's got older (he's now just shy of 11 mths) that now I have to keep an eye on both at the same time as he won't sit still
I'm glad they have a small gap between them, DD loves her little brother although I'm not sure how long that will last :rotfl: and DS is a real cheeky little soul and very happy which does make life easier. Sadly I've never had them nap at the same time but soon DD will be increasing nursery to 3 days as her funding for 15 hours starts next month so I'll have some more 1:1 time for DS.
I'm rambling, perhaps this is a symptom of having two kids with a small gapbut, it's doable, very doable. I found having routines and being organised helped immensely - My DH works hideous, varied shifts so he's not around a lot. If your OH is, make sure you out him to work
Good luck!!Whether you think you can or you can’t, you’re probably right ~ Henry Ford0 -
Our age gap is eighteen months, when our son was born our daughter was attending nursery once a week and we kept that in place after our son was born.
We didn't find it bad at all especially as babies are easy to look after and don't vanish into weird location in the house in thirty seconds like a toddler!
Our son is quite severely disabled so as a baby he was tube fed, so it meant our daughter could continue breast feeding, as obviously it is tailored for the individual child via saliva so if our son was able to breast feed directly she would had to have stopped feeding.
Our bed wasn't anymore cramped as our cot attaches to the bed, personally we didn't find it that different and I imagine having a secons without medical needs is even easier.
Really though I think a lot of it is based on the outlook of the parents, if you stress you will find it difficult, if you relax and take things as they come its generally okay.0 -
I had 2 yrs 5 days between my 2 boys, was tiring to start with as the eldest didn't nap from about 21 months so was energetic all day and obviously with a newborn you are up a lot at night. But like others have said you don't have the time pressures of having to be somewhere at a particular time. I'm expecting my 3rd now, due october, and I know it's going to be tricky as my boys will be in yr2 and reception at school and need to be on time everyday which will affect feeds etc. I'm going to try baby wearing and hope if I get the right one, I'll be able to feed and walk so that baby can feed when he/she wants. My hubby works very early in the morning so isn't around for school drop offs.Grocery Challenge 2024
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There is just under 2 and a half years of a gap between my daughter and son. I've always thought it was a nice age gap
They are close now and play well together. My daughter was never much of a demanding child and easily occupied. Aside from lack of sleep, babies tend to be easier than toddlers, at least during the day!
I'm sure you'll be fine! I don't think there is any perfect age gap. I've heard a few stories of siblings with 9 or 10 months between them, and recently DH was telling me about a woman who has a 3yr old, 2 yr old, a baby under one and she just had newborn twins. That's five children in nappies :eek: I'm not sure how the couple even managed to find the time to conceive the twins in the first place!
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There are 23 months between mine, I found that involving my daughter in most aspects of the pregnancy helped, if you asked her about the baby she pointed to my stomach. She went to all the antenatel appointments with me and she was the first one allowed in to see her brother after he was born.
We moved her into her big girl room with a big girl bed before he came along, so that she didn't feel she was being moved for the baby, and he stayed in our room for the first couple of months so the 'nursery' was left empty for a while.0 -
19 months between my two. Was hard going in the beginning but I did keep the eldest in nursery for a day each week (or was it 2?) so I could focus on the baby a little. Routine is everything, and also not fretting if baby cries for a few minutes while you help the other one with the potty.
Fast forward and mine are now 6 and 4.5 (boy and girl) and although they are like chalk and cheese and can squabble, they do play nicely together and make up some amazing games.
Also think it gives a good start to the youngest - DS has helped teach DD to read just by practicing himself, he's in yr 1 now and she starts reception in September and is already well ahead of her peers in a good handful of development areas. She sometimes reads our bedtime story!Bossymoo
Away with the fairies :beer:0 -
16 months between my two. To be honest, how well you cope will probably depend entirely on how easy the new baby is. My second was a nightmare baby, always crying unless he was held, bad sleeper etc etc so that made it hard as I was just permanently exhausted. My best advice is to make sure you do something with them every day. I found out about every mother and toddler group in my area and we literally went to one a day which meant that my eldest would have at least 2 hours of running around and playing which was great for him and meant he wasn't sitting at home all day (which always resulted in him being grumpy)0
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Thank you everyone. It's appreciated. Daughter is going to carry on going nursery one day a week. I am going to research groups so I can go to one everyday. I hate staying in all day but don't want to shop all the time ( and I can't afford it!)I'm never offended by debate & opinions. As a wise man called Voltaire once said, "I disagree with what you say, but will defend until death your right to say it."
Mortgage is my only debt - Original mortgage - January 2008 = £88,400, March 2014 = £47,000 Chipping away slowly! Now saving to move.0
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