Coping with a toddler and a newborn.

mummyroysof3

When my youngest was born I also had a 2 year old and a almost 4 year old. It was hard but you just get on with it and after a while you forget youngest wasn't here before. I always timed popping to shop on nursery run and didn't feel guilty if housework wasn't done or I didn't go toddler/baby group as it involved a lot of walking.

EccentricDyslexic

The key is to sleep at any available opportunity and use any help offered by family/friends:-)

dizziblonde

11 months between my two... honestly - don't overthink it and it'll be OK - you'll have some rough phases just the same as you did with one but they're only ever rough phases and there's usually a really delightful one just around the corner too (which is the thought that keeps me sane at the bad times).

Things I found helpful - have a safe spot to pop the baby down in every room you're likely to use - be it moses baskets, jumperoos, play pens etc (obviously geared to the age of the baby at the time). That way if the toddler starts climbing the curtains you can always quickly pop baby down to intercept! (My youngest hated every type of sling so that wasn't viable for us)
Double up on nappy change supplies so you're not trudging up the stairs constantly to a change table
I found using the time the youngest was tiny and immobile to help my eldest become more independent in some things really helped - things like climbing up into her car seat while I strapped the baby in so I could nip back round to her side of the car and just strap her in - but she'd been contained within the body of the car while I was sorting the little one out and the like - but my eldest has refused to use a pushchair since not long after the age of 2 so I had to really!
I found having lots of nice outdoor toys in the garden useful - when you hit that arkward point with the youngest where they're just about mobile and not happy to sit in the pushchair watching their sibling on the slides at the local park but you still need the eldest to blow off energy - it's nice to be able to have the option to have them in the garden where sometimes you would just have popped to the park with only one toddler.

Mine are now just-turned 3 and just-turned 2 and are incredibly close and play together really really well by the way - they've gained so much from a sibling close in age to them so take the long term view about it over any short term guilt you inevitably will have on behalf of your eldest!

giddypenguin

I'm in the same boat, there will be about 25/26 months between my two (due end of October) and I also worry how I'll cope! Going to try and keep DS in with the childminder at least two days a week, but I think it's going to be a struggle! I was holding my friend's baby last week and DS was immediately jealous!

I guess what's keeping me going is remembering that these things don't last long, and life will adjust and get into a new rhythm. Just have to try and keep calm and carry on during the adjustment period (of course as soon as you work one thing out it'll all change and you have to figure it out all over again... Or is the 'grasping at straws in the dark' just my method of parenting?!)

andrewmp

giddypenguin wrote: »

I'm in the same boat, there will be about 25/26 months between my two (due end of October) and I also worry how I'll cope! Going to try and keep DS in with the childminder at least two days a week, but I think it's going to be a struggle! I was holding my friend's baby last week and DS was immediately jealous!

I guess what's keeping me going is remembering that these things don't last long, and life will adjust and get into a new rhythm. Just have to try and keep calm and carry on during the adjustment period (of course as soon as you work one thing out it'll all change and you have to figure it out all over again... Or is the 'grasping at straws in the dark' just my method of parenting?!)

I had three in a 26 month period. I'd easy, well not really, but it's not that bad really!

S_Wales_Saver

My no2 arrived 13 months after no1, and no3 13 months after that. I found the most difficult part getting around, especially as each child started walking while I was in hospital having the next!!
I had no car so was always dependant on my own power. I used at different times a double pushchair with newborn in a sling, double pushchair with middle in a back carrier and a big pram with a pram seat ( and often a tired two yr old sitting crossways)

I agree with others - baby no 2 and after fit in more easily because they have to. It doesn't seem to harm them at all. It couldn't have been that bad as no4 followed after 3 years and no5 18 months after that:eek:

Castlemew2015

I have 20 months between my two, now 3.5 and just turned 2. And I had planned a short gap, the theory being short term pain, long term gain.
I highly recommend a playpen/travel cot for the newborn. We had one permanently set up in the living room. It was a safe place to pop ds down when I needed to that didn't interrupt older dd's playing space. I didn't have to worry about her walking over him accidently, although there were a few stern words about her not putting anything into the travel cot.
A sling I barely used with dd was worn almost every day with ds.
I was very fortunate to have family close by that could take no.1 for a day every week as well as a day in nursery. It gave me some one on one time with my new baby and a slightly less hectic couple of days.
It is hard work, and it placed an unforeseen strain on my relationship. Don't ever feel like you shouldn't ask for help. Check what support network you have now and if there are any gaps find out if there is anything you can do. Check your children's centres, health visitors, the different types of toddler groups around in your area, and if there is anyone you know who has or will soon have kids of a similar age. I got to know a lovely lady with a reverse gender version of what I had. Swapping clothes was a handy money saver.

katiegizmo

I have a 2 yo and a 4 month old and was very worried about how my older one would feel etc. I did all the prep - books, got nursery to chat to her, talked about her friends with siblings, present from the new baby etc then disaster struck as she came down with chicken pox the day baby was born! I had to stay extra time in hospital and she couldn't visit. Once we got home the children couldn't be within a metre of eachother and it was really upsetting for all of us as my 2yo kept sitting in the corner miserable saying 'I've got spots, I'm a bad sister'. It was a nightmare!

But guess what, a few weeks in we had all bounced back and (for now) things are great. Yes it's hectic, I'm shattered etc but it's fun. They interact well, it's lovely to see. My point is that there are going to be bad times but they don't last, you plod/plough through them and look back and wonder why you were so worried.

I also make good use of the sling. And I make sure baby is in a position to see 2yo playing/running around/acting crazy as it's like having an entertainer permanently available.

You'll all be fine x

Philis_Burrell

I am a mom of two. a 6 year old and a 2 year old. It used to be so difficult when they were smaller. Now is the easier part although I still have struggles.

amyandoli

364 days between my two boys. They just turned 2 and 3. I'm a SAHM. It is harder the closer the gap to start with but it does get easier as time goes on. They are very close and have friends in common age wise. I had to find different groups to go to as a couple were for non walkers and some walkers. Crawling about in soft play with a baby strapped to me and a 1 year old cruiser was no go til oldest was more physically independant and youngest could keep up so we could do it all together. Mixed age playgroups are brilliant though. I was very lucky that my dad loves kids and has helped me out no end.

Get a good double pram. We have a baby jogger city mini double bought of ebay. Its a side by side one which fits through most doors and is very easy to steer and distributes the weight better than any other pram I've tried. Its suitable from birth too. We spend a lot of time going for walks - the youngest can sleep and the oldest is happy for some 1 on 1 walking/playing with me. Then tired out the oldest will sleep and I got 1 on 1 with the youngest. I think that's the hardest bit, giving them undivided attention for a while each day.

You'll be ok don't worry it just happens x