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What does your partner find annoying about you?
Purplesky_2
Posts: 152 Forumite
We all have those little niggles that grate on us when in a long term relationship. :mad:
What does your partner do to annoy you? and what do you do that bothers them?
Things that annoy me about my partner:
When washing up, he spends 15 mins setting up a computer to watch a program. He then does one washing up bowl of washing and considers it to be done. We have no dishwasher...
He leaves the dirty stuff to the end and doesn't get to it (see above)...:eek:
...or leaves it "to soak" and congeal :mad:
He doesn't do any laundry unless it's absolutely vital, and the basket is overflowing.
He forgets lots of things, but it's due to his dyslexia
He doesn't clean the sink, even though he uses a straight-edge razor and soaks his whetstone in the sink and I can't even wash my face because it causes me to break out
He requires directing to the right file in the LABELLED filing cabinet :mad:
At the minute, he's leaving sawdust trails everywhere and leaving woodshavings all over the living room floor :eek:
He leaves his whetstone drying for weeks. I'm never totally sure when it's dry
We made a deal that he was going to clean the oven if we got an inbuilt oven (which I HATE!). Two months after it got bad, I cleaned it. He asked me 'What did you clean it with?' Ummmm, oven cleaner?!?!?!?!? I haven't asked what he was using, since he promised he was doing it. :mad:
He uses a washing up bowl. The sink NEVER gets !!!!!!! clean. Because I don't see it until it's gross, at which point he refuses to do it.
When taking clothes upstairs, unless I explicitly say 'all these are for you' he will put it ALL on my bed. No checking for his own stuff, even though it's usually >70% of the load
He never puts away towels/tea towels (although he knows where they go because he knows where to get them from)
He is disdainful and disrespectful of some of my choice of film/TV (although there is an enormous amount of cross-over really, just my SATC/Desperate Housewives/Disney films)
He has a really high metabolism and can eat anything he likes.
He complains about my clutter (and he's right) but he's been consistently adding to the furniture in his room since we moved in. There is now a gap about a foot wide round his bed, unless it's next to his computer, where it's more like six inches. I haven't added any furniture and have been making more and more space in the storage I already have. :rotfl:
He never dusts
He uses commercial furniture polish (now only in his room), even though I've told him how damaging it is to wooden furniture
He doesn't want additional seating for the living room because "It will just encourage people to come over" :rotfl:
Things my partner doesn't like about me:
I sometimes have to wash things up two or three times before it's fully clean (I cooked a LOT in a whoever-doesn't-cook-washes-up household growing up, I just never really got the hang of the washing up bit)
I leave projects half finished all over the place
I am a bit of a wuss when it comes to my rights as a customer (although I am improving) :money:
I hold onto things too long or for the wrong reason, leading to a build-up of useless items, although I am getting better at this too (both at not getting them and at getting rid when the time is right)
I leave little piles of clutter around on almost any flat surface
I have a series of (very fetching) magazine folders with bits of fancy stationary and folders, plus catalogues or brochures (for reference) and folders with magazine pages ripped out of them on display in the front room. He thinks I should scan the relevant items and then get rid. :rotfl:
He despairs of my putting (usually clean) clothes and books on one side of my King Size. He doesn't believe me when I say this is training me to only use one side of the bed :rotfl:
He hates that I can go to sleep really easily and STAY asleep through all sorts (hence the separate beds/bedrooms). :cool:
He is jealous of how fast I can read. I read quicker than average and he's dyslexic.....
I don't/can't drive. Technically I'm legal to, but I'm SO afraid of it that I don't and am not on the insurance. :eek:
I paid for laundry to be done at the dry-cleaners a few times a month over winter while we try to fix our humidity problem. He felt this was a waste of money. I saw it as reducing damage to the building/our belongings/my health when I have to bleach the walls/furniture/clothes etc :A
Also: He wants things done NOW, I want them done RIGHT. So my walls will be perfectly smooth :j when I've finished painting them, but it's taken me several months to strip and paint around being ill and trying to keep working, while moving furniture around. His walls look like a 3D world map, but they got done in a weekend.
What does your partner do to annoy you? and what do you do that bothers them?
Things that annoy me about my partner:
When washing up, he spends 15 mins setting up a computer to watch a program. He then does one washing up bowl of washing and considers it to be done. We have no dishwasher...
He leaves the dirty stuff to the end and doesn't get to it (see above)...:eek:
...or leaves it "to soak" and congeal :mad:
He doesn't do any laundry unless it's absolutely vital, and the basket is overflowing.
He forgets lots of things, but it's due to his dyslexia
He doesn't clean the sink, even though he uses a straight-edge razor and soaks his whetstone in the sink and I can't even wash my face because it causes me to break out
He requires directing to the right file in the LABELLED filing cabinet :mad:
At the minute, he's leaving sawdust trails everywhere and leaving woodshavings all over the living room floor :eek:
He leaves his whetstone drying for weeks. I'm never totally sure when it's dry
We made a deal that he was going to clean the oven if we got an inbuilt oven (which I HATE!). Two months after it got bad, I cleaned it. He asked me 'What did you clean it with?' Ummmm, oven cleaner?!?!?!?!? I haven't asked what he was using, since he promised he was doing it. :mad:
He uses a washing up bowl. The sink NEVER gets !!!!!!! clean. Because I don't see it until it's gross, at which point he refuses to do it.
When taking clothes upstairs, unless I explicitly say 'all these are for you' he will put it ALL on my bed. No checking for his own stuff, even though it's usually >70% of the load
He never puts away towels/tea towels (although he knows where they go because he knows where to get them from)
He is disdainful and disrespectful of some of my choice of film/TV (although there is an enormous amount of cross-over really, just my SATC/Desperate Housewives/Disney films)
He has a really high metabolism and can eat anything he likes.
He complains about my clutter (and he's right) but he's been consistently adding to the furniture in his room since we moved in. There is now a gap about a foot wide round his bed, unless it's next to his computer, where it's more like six inches. I haven't added any furniture and have been making more and more space in the storage I already have. :rotfl:
He never dusts
He uses commercial furniture polish (now only in his room), even though I've told him how damaging it is to wooden furniture
He doesn't want additional seating for the living room because "It will just encourage people to come over" :rotfl:
Things my partner doesn't like about me:
I sometimes have to wash things up two or three times before it's fully clean (I cooked a LOT in a whoever-doesn't-cook-washes-up household growing up, I just never really got the hang of the washing up bit)
I leave projects half finished all over the place
I am a bit of a wuss when it comes to my rights as a customer (although I am improving) :money:
I hold onto things too long or for the wrong reason, leading to a build-up of useless items, although I am getting better at this too (both at not getting them and at getting rid when the time is right)
I leave little piles of clutter around on almost any flat surface
I have a series of (very fetching) magazine folders with bits of fancy stationary and folders, plus catalogues or brochures (for reference) and folders with magazine pages ripped out of them on display in the front room. He thinks I should scan the relevant items and then get rid. :rotfl:
He despairs of my putting (usually clean) clothes and books on one side of my King Size. He doesn't believe me when I say this is training me to only use one side of the bed :rotfl:
He hates that I can go to sleep really easily and STAY asleep through all sorts (hence the separate beds/bedrooms). :cool:
He is jealous of how fast I can read. I read quicker than average and he's dyslexic.....
I don't/can't drive. Technically I'm legal to, but I'm SO afraid of it that I don't and am not on the insurance. :eek:
I paid for laundry to be done at the dry-cleaners a few times a month over winter while we try to fix our humidity problem. He felt this was a waste of money. I saw it as reducing damage to the building/our belongings/my health when I have to bleach the walls/furniture/clothes etc :A
Also: He wants things done NOW, I want them done RIGHT. So my walls will be perfectly smooth :j when I've finished painting them, but it's taken me several months to strip and paint around being ill and trying to keep working, while moving furniture around. His walls look like a 3D world map, but they got done in a weekend.
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Comments
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Wow purple sky have you two had a row tonight?! Ok pretty short list I guess;
DH hates to hear me crunch, crisps in particular. He says I crunch far too loudly so now when I eat crisps I'm constantly paranoid!
I moan alot, by my own admission, even I get fed up of hearing it!
I'm stubborn and won't admit when I'm wrong apparently.
He tells me after dinner to "leave the pots" like he's got every intention if doing them, then doesn't!
When running a shower he sets it off about 15mins before going in and walks round the house pottering and chatting, which I don't understand.
He runs the tap when brushing his teeth, I like it turned off!
He is a remote hogger and puts on anything he likes without asking me so often I'm stuck with snooker, football, rugby, tennis...
I'm sure there's more on both sides but I can't think of any at the moment!PAD 2023 Debt total as of Dec 2022 £18,988.63*April £17,711.03
Halifax CC £3168.21Halifax loan £6095.47
Car finance £7639.02
Next £0/£808.33
#22 - 1p savings challenge 2023 £166.95/£667.95Saving for Christmas - £1 a day savings challenge 2023 £50/£1000
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Nope. We bought a house 18 months ago, and spent £25k on it so far, and I've had a lot of life-altering events (Parent's divorce, fighting with solicitors to get an inheritance that I had NO IDEA I was getting from a family friend and illness for almost a year, with a reduction in wage and increase in time spent in the house 'pulling my weight') while trying desperately to complete a phd
We've spent a lot of the last 18 months closely examining our relationship in light of these events, our parents relationships/our upbringing and our distribution of housework/work outside the house.
It all came out in response to an article on a website I frequent. It really surprised me how much of the minutiae really bugged me and it was cathartic to get it out. Our biggest problem is the washing up.
I am happy to do the laundry and he puts away his stuff really easily, once I've put it on his bed,and the mess bothers him, and since I'm home and bored it is proliferating a little. We're just finding our middle ground.
It's taken 5 years to get here and we've moved from a rented one bed flat to a mortgaged two bed house (so we feel like we should be more grown up). I should mention that we basically come from opposite houses in terms of tidiness (hence the time taken to find a middle ground....), but equivalent houses in the amount of work that 'Mum' does, compared to 'Dad'. Which mean that I've had to fight the compulsion to just do everything because sometimes that just feels easier, because it's expected of me by our parents and by him, because I know it's no good for us (me!) in the long term.0 -
Very little really, we've been together 25 years and have pretty much become used with each other's faults and failings. We've always tended to fight over who does the housework (both wanting to give the other one a break), rather than who doesn't, which probably helps a lot.
We both work full time, kids are half moved out and he usually has many hours of paperwork (from his job) to do at home, whilst I only have a few hours worth to do. Therefore I do all the cleaning, cooking, paperwork, banking and laundry. He does the evening washing up (if I don't get there before him
), he cleans the cars and we both muck in with the other bits around the house.
The possible annoyances I can think of are: my restless insomnia must annoy him as he is a light sleeper and I often disturb him, and he has a habit of disturbing me for attention when I'm concentrating deeply on something, which can be pretty irritating.[FONT="][FONT="] Fighting the biggest battle of my life. Started 30th January 2018.
[/FONT][/FONT]0 -
Nope. We bought a house 18 months ago, and spent £25k on it so far, and I've had a lot of life-altering events (Parent's divorce, fighting with solicitors to get an inheritance that I had NO IDEA I was getting from a family friend and illness for almost a year, with a reduction in wage and increase in time spent in the house 'pulling my weight') while trying desperately to complete a phd
We've spent a lot of the last 18 months closely examining our relationship in light of these events, our parents relationships/our upbringing and our distribution of housework/work outside the house.
It all came out in response to an article on a website I frequent. It really surprised me how much of the minutiae really bugged me and it was cathartic to get it out. Our biggest problem is the washing up.
I am happy to do the laundry and he puts away his stuff really easily, once I've put it on his bed,and the mess bothers him, and since I'm home and bored it is proliferating a little. We're just finding our middle ground.
It's taken 5 years to get here and we've moved from a rented one bed flat to a mortgaged two bed house (so we feel like we should be more grown up). I should mention that we basically come from opposite houses in terms of tidiness (hence the time taken to find a middle ground....), but equivalent houses in the amount of work that 'Mum' does, compared to 'Dad'. Which mean that I've had to fight the compulsion to just do everything because sometimes that just feels easier, because it's expected of me by our parents and by him, because I know it's no good for us (me!) in the long term.
you spent £25K renovating a property and you havent got a dishwasher? to me that would be 2nd only to a TV! and it sounds like it would solve your biggest annoyance!0 -
MY snoring when I go to sleep.I hate it too,so tend to get up about 6am.
Him, the smoking in the house.The secret to success is making very small, yet constant changes.:)0 -
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DH gets annoyed by my chewing too, and how slowly I eat food compared to him.
He moans a little if I leave too much lying about the house, although he is not the best at tidying up either so he doesnt mention it often!
I think his biggest bugbear about me is that I dont tend to have a detailed plan when I'm about to do anything, whereas he likes to have every little thing planned out about any situation.0 -
Wow this really puts into perspective peoples issues with each other and I would hate to see some real ones listed ie:- where your next meal is coming form or a 5 hour journey to a hospital for some people in the world.
I guess my way of thinking on this one is that we really need to be more grateful for the things and people we have in life and the main problem as I see it here is the way everything is so fast paced these days with little time to reflect on the good way we do actually live as opposed to others in the world that may be in a tin shack or a tent in some rat infested camp during the winter months.0 -
Gloomendoom wrote: »I'd have the dishwasher over the TV any day.:p
Me too, when our last one broke down we were out shopping for a new one the same day.
As to what the good lady finds annoying about me?
Hmmmmm no comment 0 -
Stevie_Palimo wrote: »Wow this really puts into perspective peoples issues with each other and I would hate to see some real ones listed ie:- where your next meal is coming form or a 5 hour journey to a hospital for some people in the world.
I guess my way of thinking on this one is that we really need to be more grateful for the things and people we have in life and the main problem as I see it here is the way everything is so fast paced these days with little time to reflect on the good way we do actually live as opposed to others in the world that may be in a tin shack or a tent in some rat infested camp during the winter months.
I dont really understand your point here. Even people in happy relationships tend to get annoyed about one thing or another when in each other's company for too long. That is what the OP asked, so that is what posters have replied about.
That doesnt necessarily mean that people aren't also worried or concerned about more significant problems in the world or within their relationships. We all have problems, but why mention them in a thread if they aren't relevant?0
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