Elderly parents and taxis

jackyann

Very interesting thread.
Just to add that whatever the reasons for thinking that something has to be done in a certain way, I think there is a point towards old age where it "sets" and is difficult to shift.
It's not dementia, or a specific mental health problem, but it is a way of coping with a life that seems to be getting confusing.

I had similar problems with older relatives (though not the same as above, our ideology was "nothing too good for the working class"). But it was the idea that doing something differently, thinking about different ways to solve a problem, just could not be done. I thought of it as a sort of "arthritis" of the mind

This is of no help to OP, but it is a warning to build in some flexibility as early as you can, to help guard against this sort of upset>

Jagraf

I've noticed with my parents, both mid seventies, that during the last year or so they've become quite tight with themselves. They've always been very generous people and still are with those around them. But, for example, my mum has to pay for her calls and mine are free (contract). So she texts me asking me to phone her :eek:. My dad goes round switching lights off and they are having arguments over the decorating, or whether they need two cars. They own their own home and are comfortable. However, my dad would just empty his wallet for those closest to him if he had to.

I think taxis fall into that luxury category. I mean, when they were young they just walked and cycled everywhere.

Jagraf

jackyann wrote: »

Very interesting thread.
Just to add that whatever the reasons for thinking that something has to be done in a certain way, I think there is a point towards old age where it "sets" and is difficult to shift.
It's not dementia, or a specific mental health problem, but it is a way of coping with a life that seems to be getting confusing.

I had similar problems with older relatives (though not the same as above, our ideology was "nothing too good for the working class"). But it was the idea that doing something differently, thinking about different ways to solve a problem, just could not be done. I thought of it as a sort of "arthritis" of the mind

This is of no help to OP, but it is a warning to build in some flexibility as early as you can, to help guard against this sort of upset>

I think you are right. My parents have people dying around them all the time - they are of that age. Very well put xx

margaretclare

I agree with Armchair23. The idea of 'control' comes very much into the argument.

longforgotten

So are we talking control of their surroundings or of their nearest and dearest.


As far as I know my Mum at 82 has never been in a taxi, lives in the sticks and always had a lift by Dad, family or friends as she can't drive. To expect her at 82 to get in a taxi on her own, with a driver she doesn't know, to trust them to take her where she wants without over charging her....she'll get stressed out anyway and then have to pay for the pleasure I do not expect my Mum to put herself in unfamiliar situations that will stress her out and so I know I do things for her that others may think I'm daft to do. The answer for me would be to break her in by taking a taxi with her so she knows what to expect and feel at ease...but that will never happen.


I'm lucky that I now live close to Mum and doing things for her is not such a problem. I just wish she'd spend her money on herself for the things she needs rather than saying 'it's too much money'. But she's too old to change and I'm trying to smile through it !


MIL is spending money like water and FIL is worried he won't have any left. You just can't win !!!