Elderly parents and taxis

[Deleted User]

tea_lover wrote: »

OP, this may be a silly question but has your Dad ever used a taxi? Does he know how to? He may not know how to book one, how they charge etc (in addition to not wanting to spend the money).

I have a real fear of situations where I don't know what I'm doing.

ETA: can you get a taxi with him at some point (without having to put yourself out/miss work to do so). Maybe if he sees how easy it is to book, that they pick you up from the door and drop you off exactly where you need he'd be happier to do it again himself next time.

Nope never. He just thinks they cost a fortune but has no idea. And doesnt listen when I tell him.

Hes always been like this. Gets ideas in his head. I remember when I was in college (so he wasnt old then). He'd phone me and be on the phone for literally 2 minutes - in his head it was a long distance call so must have cost a fortune. I remember at the time finding out and pointing out to him that it cost about £4 an hour offpeak. Didnt make a blind bit of notice.

My college days were spent with speaking to my parents for 2 mins once a week...

[Deleted User]

Flugelhorn wrote: »

having got south welsh connections,

I wonder if the "taxis aren't for people like me"

actually means "what will people think if I haven't got family running around after me?"

And a bit of - look at him hes taking taxis everywhere, who does he think he is, he must be loaded.

margaretclare

cte1111 wrote: »

This story rang such a bell with me! A couple of years ago we took my MIL out to lunch at Betty's for her birthday. She was absolutely horrified and sadly I don't think she enjoyed it. Despite living in a town with a Betty's for decades, she had never been there, because that wasn't for 'people like them'. I wish it were true that this attitude had disappeared but it seems not.

I am sorry about this. I've been in Betty's a few times whenever I've been close to one. A few years ago now I took DH to one because he'd never been - I said 'this is an experience you must have'. He recalled that his mother - working-class East End Jewish - used to take his children to Selfridge's to get their hair cut and then they would have afternoon tea there. I've noticed before, immigrants or descendants of immigrants don't seem to be afflicted by this social class thing. Is it because of the Normans? We had centuries of being 'kept in our place' following the Conquest?

My FIL also asked my husband to make a 250 mile round trip to take him to the airport not long ago. Bearing in mind that my husband works full time and we have two children and generally busy lives, I was pretty annoyed that he expected him to give up a big chunk of his weekend in order to avoid paying for a taxi, let alone the cost of the petrol, but it seems like this is part of the same mindset.

Yes. but the same people are happy to accept that their children and children's spouses have a good job and can therefore afford own car. I am the first generation to achieve many of these things. Qualified as a nurse then as a midwife. Bought my own car. Went to university - well, it was polytechnic then. Paid a mortgage and bought own property. Have own pension fund as well as the state's. All 'firsts' in the family line. I don't think I ever had that mindset that your in-laws have. Thank goodness! If I'd gone through life saying 'this is not for me' I don't know where I'd have been today.

System

I remember oddles of years ago when hubby started working away. Mother only expected hubby to drive back from Bristol (80 or so miles away) to pick her up from the hospital when my Step Father was in. The hospital was only about 3 or 4 miles away.

She didn't take kindly to him telling her to ring her son who only lived a few miles away to fetch her if she didn't want to ring a taxi.

I think she walked back in the end.

Their relationship was never good but I think that was the straw that broke the camels back.

Alikay

[quote=[Deleted User];67967003]And a bit of - look at him hes taking taxis everywhere, who does he think he is, he must be loaded.[/QUOTE]

Yep, MIL is a bit like this. Anyone seen to be taking a cab is referred to as "riding around in a taxi like Lady Muck", so we are faced with the choice of watching a frail old bird get a bus into town, totter across the city centre then get another one out of town followed by a half mile walk or the one we always do - go and collect her and deliver her back home regardless of convenience or whether the driver might actually like a glass of wine once in a while!

Spelunthus

Very insightful article. Although it's not always linked to age, this is mainly a "War Generation" thing. For people born before 1930, there are "ordinary things" - like family helping out, saving, calling round, going without, making do. And there are "extraordinary things" - like taxis, telephones, restaurants, service. My FiL would never use a taxi, or a porter, or ever tip. We'll miss them when they're gone.....:o

securityguy

Spelunthus wrote: »

Very insightful article. Although it's not always linked to age, this is mainly a "War Generation" thing. For people born before 1930, there are "ordinary things" - like family helping out, saving, calling round, going without, making do. And there are "extraordinary things" - like taxis, telephones, restaurants, service. My FiL would never use a taxi, or a porter, or ever tip. We'll miss them when they're gone.....:o

I think you mean "War Generation Working Class". You're not seriously arguing that in the 1980s, an entire generation of middle-class teachers, doctors and civil servants spent their fifties refusing to eat in restaurants or use taxis, are you?

margaretclare

I must be lucky, because I haven't experienced any of it (was born 1935) except for the instance of my mum and Betty's. We had electricity installed in 1958. The neighbours all told my mum how wonderful it was, now she could 'get a telly'. Mum said 'No chance. I'm getting a washing machine'. She did too, albeit second hand. She was just about the first woman in the village to have one. Was that because it was the men who bought the tellies and didn't think about their wives doing washing by hand? A huge one with power wringers - she thought all her Christmases had come at once. Taxis when necessary, phone installed early 70s, telegrams before that...just the Betty's thing really. Did not experience any of the rest of it. Re Paul's Dad's laundry, brother's girl-friend is a fool to fall for it, IMHO.

PS: Just as well I don't feel like that. We've just had our lady gardener, first time this year. The social class I came from used to be gardeners, not employ one themselves. And window-cleaners, but what do you do when the time comes that you physically can't do these things yourself? I'm also in favour of using 'MollyMaids' for housework, but DH doesn't think it's necessary just yet. My ancestors did all these things for other people!

supersaver2

It's been interesting reading this thread. Seems like lots of poster's parent's don't like spending their money, but aren't so fussy about spending their children's!

pollypenny

I think it's a case of never having had much money and now not really understanding that things, like taxis, which were rare and expensive, are nkw common and reasonably cheap.