Elderly parents and taxis

lin473

My Mum won't use them .
Partly cost.
Partly because she can't cope with them not coming bang on time and it stresses her out.

Also she reluctantly agreed to order one on a particularly icy day last year as i didn't want her to catch the bus.
The driver sat there in the drivers seat and watched her struggle across the ice with her luggage !

She is 84 and very frail.

[Deleted User]

lin473 wrote: »

My Mum won't use them .
Partly cost.
Partly because she can't cope with them not coming bang on time and it stresses her out.

Also she reluctantly agreed to order one on a particularly icy day last year as i didn't want her to catch the bus.
The driver sat there in the drivers seat and watched her struggle across the ice with her luggage !

She is 84 and very frail.

My Dad has this time thing too. I can say a week in advance I'll be there 2pm ish. I live 20 miles away so theres traffic, and I'm often running around after my own family and kids. USually hes not going anywhere just in the house.

If I turn up later than 2-05 I get a rude "where've you been?" and get told "I've been sitting here waiting for you". (even though hes not going anywhere etc).

securityguy

Primrose wrote: »

It's a generational thing I once had to drive a round trip of 200 miles to take my 85 year old mum to the hairdressers for a perm because she didn,t have the confidence to order a £5 taxi fare to take her there.

You didn't have to, you chose to.

You could, and should, have just said no.

Had you been feeling helpful, you could have organised the taxi yourself.

goggle

can you make contact with a local taxi company & see if they will open you an account or similar so Dad doesn't have to pay when he "phones the driver" & you can settle at the end of the month - maybe deposit £100 with them now & they call you when it's used up?
I know the local taxi company to me would do their best to allocate the same driver or couple of drivers to an elderly person if asked - so if he's worried about being "scammed" or "can't trust them" as I know my Dad would be, that may help. I can see my elderly father being happier to phone "John" to come and pick him up, rather than a random person who may not speak good English or whatever.

[Deleted User]

goggle wrote: »

can you make contact with a local taxi company & see if they will open you an account or similar so Dad doesn't have to pay when he "phones the driver" & you can settle at the end of the month - maybe deposit £100 with them now & they call you when it's used up?
I know the local taxi company to me would do their best to allocate the same driver or couple of drivers to an elderly person if asked - so if he's worried about being "scammed" or "can't trust them" as I know my Dad would be, that may help. I can see my elderly father being happier to phone "John" to come and pick him up, rather than a random person who may not speak good English or whatever.

I thought of that but I dont think he'd go for it. He'd know it was a taxi and just kick off at me for wasting my money,

securityguy

[quote=[Deleted User];67960065]I thought of that but I dont think he'd go for it. He'd know it was a taxi and just kick off at me for wasting my money,[/QUOTE]

You could always just not talk to him. He doesn't sound like he enhances your life.

CathA

It is definitely an age thing. My friend's father, who lived a few miles from me, phoned his daughter who lived in Australia and said he'd have to start living on cat food and start getting extra blankets from charity shops. I used to keep an eye on him and gradually over the years the cleanliness of his flat deteriorated. I told my friend and she suggested to her dad to get a cleaning lady (I even offered to do it for him) but he was having none of it. When he died, we cleared his flat and found mice droppings in the cupboards and the bathroom was indescribable. However, when his estate was dealt with there was over £40,000 sitting in a bank account, plus he owned his own flat with no mortgage or debt.

I think that that generation is of a 'just in case' mentality, worried if they spend all their money they will be destitute and out on the streets, not much you can do to change that mindset. However, don't go and collect him for the funeral, as others have said, the more you do, the more is expected. Good luck.

Primrose

securityguy wrote: »

You didn't have to, you chose to.

You could, and should, have just said no.

Had you been feeling helpful, you could have organised the taxi yourself.

Security Guy, One day you will be old and vulnerable yourself and hopefully by then you will have developed a little more sensitivity for the feelings of those people who cared for you when you were young and vulnerable. Yes, I did choose to do this because I was able to fit in other things at the same time like her shopping and some housework, but sometimes we have to recognise that the world shrinks for very old people and their concerns and anxieties grow by a disproportionate amount. One day this will probably be us, even if we deny now that it will ever come to pass.

Pollycat

Primrose wrote: »

Security Guy, One day you will be old and vulnerable yourself and hopefully by then you will have developed a little more sensitivity for the feelings of those people who cared for you when you were young and vulnerable. Yes, I did choose to do this because I was able to fit in other things at the same time like her shopping and some housework, but sometimes we have to recognise that the world shrinks for very old people and their concerns and anxieties grow by a disproportionate amount. One day this will probably be us, even if we deny now that it will ever come to pass.

So you turned it into something more than just a 200 mile round trip to take her to the hairdressers.
That's slightly different to what you originally posted.

Primrose wrote: »

It's a generational thing I once had to drive a round trip of 200 miles to take my 85 year old mum to the hairdressers for a perm because she didn,t have the confidence to order a £5 taxi fare to take her there.

Milliemogs_2

Definitely a generational thing. My dad who would be 80 if he was still with us used to have us walk to and from the train station when we were going on holiday. My dad used to be at the front carrying two large suitcase (no wheeled ones in those days) my mum following behind with a medium suitcase and pushing my brother in his pushchair and a 7 year old me lagging behind carrying a small case. Even my brother in the buggy was carrying the buckets and spades. All because dad wouldn't pay for a taxi for the 1.5 mile journey. Once a wheel fell off the buggy and my dad had to abandon us to take the larger cases home and come back to carry my brother and the pushchair.

Going back to OPs post in terms of hospital app hospital will arrange medicare transport if you father asks. I used to book it for patients when I worked at hospital. Might have to sit round for an hour or two but prob no longer than waiting for you to colect him.