Making things work...

purpleshoes_2

I remember your previous thread, it reads even worse than this one.

I think your are in denial about how bad your marriage actually is.

sterlingstash

Perhaps google co-dependence and see any of that resonates with you?

corf999

based on personal experience it is time to walk away.

steveouk

Yes interesting I would say a lot of it is about resentment and co-dependency. I could go on however as you all say things are not going to get any better. so option - end it - unlikely - counselling - possible. An honest discussion about a way forwards.
How do I hold this discussion and ensure we get something out of it and so that she does not feel forced into it? I am thinking that I put together my thoughts ask her to do the same and ask her to decide on the time and place as it cant be at home!! that was she is in control of the time so she does not feel pushed around and I still feel that I have had time to get my thoughts down on paper.

steveouk

I cant walk away.

itchyextremist

are you still being intimate together?

tea_lover

Why not? Don't you want both of you to be happy?

steveouk

I feel my happiness is mainly my own fault though there are some things she does and says that upset me.


Yes we are still intimate and it is better this time I have been home.

purpleshoes_2

steveouk wrote: »

I cant walk away.

If you can't walk away what do you expect people on here to do to be able to support you and give advice?

You posted a thread 6 months ago about your marriage that reads even more negative than this one, things haven't improved.

If you stay you are going to be miserable for the rest of your days. The only hope is with some counselling for both of you so that the destructive way you relate to one another changes.

sterlingstash

Let yourself off the hook a little - only do the things you want to/are happy to do and you might find the resentment falls away a bit. Focus on yourself re the self-help/counselling, you are the only person you can change. And you are best placed to make choices about your future.