Renovations and Repayments.

ourcornercottage

AlexLK wrote: »

Today has been another cheap day. Not much done in the day apart from a free lunch at parents' and some music. This evening we went to see the fireworks which was free apart from the petrol used to get there. An actual no spend day for once, though.

Tomorrow, I've promised Mrs K that I'll do a couple of jobs on the house. Also going to school for a few hours to do last minute theory prep for the kids at my old school that will be taking Grade 5. The day after I've got to go there again for Music exam prep too, voluntary school wouldn't even think about doing this. Ought to try to get some sleep but am wondering how son will get on being at school for lunch tomorrow, quite worried about him.

Alex you need to keep yourself busy for next few days. Son will love lunch at school, no need to worry.

Well done on the NSD

Goldiegirl

AlexLK wrote: »

I wish I could give her somewhere better to call home.

I think you are putting unnecessary pressure on your self.


It's 2015, and women don't need to be given somewhere to live. Partners work together for their home - it's not the man's role to provide, it's a shared responsibility, like everything else in the partnership.

maman

Goldiegirl wrote: »

I think you are putting unnecessary pressure on your self.


It's 2015, and women don't need to be given somewhere to live. Partners work together for their home - it's not the man's role to provide, it's a shared responsibility, like everything else in the partnership.

And added to that MrsK seems perfectly happy with the home you're building together. She said so on Saturday didn't she?

smallholdingsister

Goldiegirl wrote: »

It's 2015, and women don't need to be given somewhere to live. Partners work together for their home - it's not the man's role to provide, it's a shared responsibility, like everything else in the partnership.

Honestly Alex, your wife is clearly not "old school" and Goldie is right.

AlexLK

ourcornercottage wrote: »

Alex you need to keep yourself busy for next few days. Son will love lunch at school, no need to worry.

Well done on the NSD

Definitely kept myself busy today: 9 hours teaching, 2 hours teaching prep, practised violin and piano, invoiced some customers and pupils, paid some bills and started doing a bit of interior woodwork.

Good day apart from son really not enjoying lunch at school , he said no one wanted to talk to him. He's going to be having lunch at school for the rest of the week but not sure whether it'll last any longer than that. To be honest, I feel awful for telling him that he'll be having lunch at school for the rest of the week and he's far from happy with me.

We've all been far too busy to spend money, so another NSD today.

Goldiegirl wrote: »

I think you are putting unnecessary pressure on your self.

It's 2015, and women don't need to be given somewhere to live. Partners work together for their home - it's not the man's role to provide, it's a shared responsibility, like everything else in the partnership.

I'm ashamed I cannot give my wife the same life as my parents have, until I inherit. It's quite humiliating to know you'll never be able to do as well as your parents did and I often wonder if I were to inherit nothing just how I would be able to give my wife and son a secure future.

In some ways I suppose I do see our position as my responsibility. Not sure whether it's some misplaced notion of my role or it's because I was the one to fail.

maman wrote: »

And added to that MrsK seems perfectly happy with the home you're building together. She said so on Saturday didn't she?

Yes, she's happy with the house. It's me that's not.

AlexLK

smallholdingsister wrote: »

Honestly Alex, your wife is clearly not "old school" and Goldie is right.

That was one of the reasons I wanted to marry her in the first place ... no danger of "wife forces sale". I suspect only people that are into classic cars will get that.

maman

Hope LittleK has a better lunchtime today. It's probably just that the children aren't used to him being there and neither is he so it's a new routine for him to get into. I'm confident that the way forward isn't for him (or you) to give up and revert to coming home every day. If necessary, have a word with his teacher and explain the situation and then dinner ladies or older children will help to get him involved. Try and be positive and say you know he needs to become a full part of the school community and you want him to get involved. I'm sure you haven't deliberately given him the message that you'd rather he came home because he's special and different but it's possible it's getting across anyway.

heartbreak_star

Hurrah for being busy! Definitely better than being poorly, right?

I feel for Little K, and I am sure as the other kids get used to him being around over the next few days that they will talk to him more

You're getting a small HBS bum-kick for the quoted bit of the post though - see my purple thoughts...

HBS x

AlexLK wrote: »

I'm ashamed I cannot give my wife the same life as my parents have, until I inherit.

You don't have to "give" her anything, she works towards the life you have TOGETHER.

It's quite humiliating to know you'll never be able to do as well as your parents did

My parents had married, bought a house and forged careers by the age of 25. I am only a homeowner by proxy and have only really started to forge a career at 36.

I really couldn't give a monkey's. Times are absolutely different - and I have lived my life fairly well and still have things I'm proud of (Cheer squad, for example). You are your own person, and not to be compared to anyone else.

To be harsh (and please take this in the spirit it's intended!!) - do you really want to end up old and friendless, relying on your son and daughter-in-law for entertainment? No? In theat case you really DON'T want to be "just like mum and dad".

and I often wonder if I were to inherit nothing just how I would be able to give my wife and son a secure future.

Again, you don't have to "give" them anything. Come Little K growing up he'll forge his own future, and you and Mrs K will forge your own TOGETHER.

Regards inheritance? You'd muddle along like the rest of us do without a large sum of cash in the family pot.

heartbreak_star

(And yes, I know I'm harsh, please take it as tough love!! )

HBS x

AlexLK

maman wrote: »

Hope LittleK has a better lunchtime today. It's probably just that the children aren't used to him being there and neither is he so it's a new routine for him to get into. I'm confident that the way forward isn't for him (or you) to give up and revert to coming home every day. If necessary, have a word with his teacher and explain the situation and then dinner ladies or older children will help to get him involved. Try and be positive and say you know he needs to become a full part of the school community and you want him to get involved. I'm sure you haven't deliberately given him the message that you'd rather he came home because he's special and different but it's possible it's getting across anyway.

Unfortunately he had an awful lunchtime today. He was on his own again and decided he wanted something else to eat for lunch at lunchtime but could do nothing about it for obvious reasons. Wife thinks he needs to stay or this will go on for years but I'm just not convinced he was ready to stay in the first instance.

I've told him that perhaps he needs to make the effort with the other pupils but he's not keen. Also not the best of behaviour in class, either. Did not want to sit in a circle and was very disruptive in assembly.