Renovations and Repayments.

AlexLK

newgirly wrote: »

I don't know any parent that thinks they are doing an amazing job Alex, it's totally normal to feel like you could be doing better, I feel like that regularly. Probably the thing that has helped me most over the years is friends I have met with children the same age, it's helped me put my worries into perspective and been a calming influence to know that what many of the things I worried about are normal.

Love to be a fly on the wall for your competition our Xmas day quiz can turn sour quickly and that's without the inlaws there, good luck to your Mother in weeding out the riffraff :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

I don't really know anyone with children the same age as my son. My cousin says I am doing well but she knows I have my own problems and I wonder if she says things to reassure me rather than telling me the truth.

:rotfl: Re. my son's birthday party. It went OK though I always find the event difficult as my parents and in-laws are both in attendance. Mother-in-law told me she was surprised to see how frail my father looked.

amanda_p wrote: »

I think what you have to ask yourself Alex is were you happy at school? Your parents made the decision many years ago to pay for your education, that was their choice and also the world was a different place then. There are always grammar schools, these are as good if not better than a lot of fee paying schools. It is all a bit of a minefield, but I am still of the opinion if Little K is happy and presents as reasonably intelligent he will do well wherever he is. Remember he is not you, he is not your father , he is unique, he is himself and what seemed right for you might not be right for him. A close friend of mine had two children, one went to the grammar school the other went to the local comprehensive which at that time was in special measures. They are both now doing doctorates, one in Physics and one in Chemistry. Both very differently educated but both came out with the same result.

Also your comment about 'lack of potential connections'. This is very old school, a lot of these connections do not exist any more unless heaven help us you go into politics, least said about that the better! Job opportunities , in whatever field come with hard work and a certain amount of luck. They do not come about nowadays because little Jonnie's dad was at school with the CEO. Plus by the time Little K is ready to join the workforce things will have probably changed even more.

As for good parenting, none of us thinks we are wonderful, I certainly wasn't, but we gave both our sons love, attention, a stable home life and time for them to grow into themselves. What I would say is the best life education comes from home. I have one son who lives abroad (Hong Kong) and the other living at the other end of the country . Somehow we have given ours the confidence to go out in the world independently and not worry too much about Mum and Dad. Remember we are the bows and our children are the arrows, we just aim them in the right direction and hope they hit the right place.
As parents we can only guide, yes they will make mistakes, they will have relationship breakdowns, things will go wrong in their lives ,but this, as such is life.
We can as parents only do our best and hope that is good enough.

I was happy at school and want the same for my son.

Finding parenting difficult at the moment.

Suffolk_lass

AlexLK wrote: »

I don't really like the long nights and have wondered if it does affect my general mood. However, I also quite like autumn and winter as seasons especially when it's crisp and bright.

Just re the Autumn and winter thing - I also love these seasons but the shortening days is the factor that causes the seasonally affected disorder, not the characteristics of the season (which for me includes hay-fever, or rhinitis, caused by leaf mould allergy) - I still love the crisp cold mornings and the illusion I can get my garden back in hand!

AlexLK

Really finding it difficult to keep the finances and alcohol consumption in check at the moment. Mrs K is away with work. My son seems very demanding but I know I'm thinking this because I'm choosing to spend the hour or so I have without commitments by myself after my son has gone to bed. I didn't want him to grow up with parents more committed to work than they are to him. My father has told me to spend the hour with my son and catch up after he's gone to bed. Pot and kettle springs to mind there. :rotfl: I have worked these sort of hours before but that was before we became parents.

AlexLK

Suffolk_lass wrote: »

Just re the Autumn and winter thing - I also love these seasons but the shortening days is the factor that causes the seasonally affected disorder, not the characteristics of the season (which for me includes hay-fever, or rhinitis, caused by leaf mould allergy) - I still love the crisp cold mornings and the illusion I can get my garden back in hand!

Thanks, SL.

Gives me something to consider. Not sure this is the year to really know if I'm affected by the shorter days, though.

newgirly

Alex, don't discuss all the minor details with your parents. It's easy to dish out advice when your are decades down the line from the reality of raising children.

If you need a break -take it!

In winter sometimes I would tell mine that it was later than it actually was when I was exhausted, that's much worse and they don't seem to have any long term scars!

AlexLK

Thanks, NG.

I hadn't anticipated being around children other than my own all day would have such an impact. Currently in the process of withdrawing from teaching and hoping I will start to find parenting easier again. Got quite a bit of work planned; through a work contact of Mrs. K. I've managed to get the opportunity to help manage and look after some old buildings. Really looking forward to being involved in that as well as my own projects and general day-to-day business. Only just got the confirmation today everything is happening. Had a celebratory AF day as I need to sort myself out.

daisy_1571

AlexLK wrote: »

Really finding it difficult to keep the finances and alcohol consumption in check at the moment. Mrs K is away with work. My son seems very demanding but I know I'm thinking this because I'm choosing to spend the hour or so I have without commitments by myself after my son has gone to bed. I didn't want him to grow up with parents more committed to work than they are to him. My father has told me to spend the hour with my son and catch up after he's gone to bed. Pot and kettle springs to mind there. :rotfl: I have worked these sort of hours before but that was before we became parents.

For the few weeks you have been doing this I would doubt there will be any long term effects on your relationship with the boy and well done on thinking through and deciding what you want to do. It hopefully feels good to have now made the decision. I think the increase in alcohol consumption recently shows clearly that it is a better choice healthwise for you to come out of teaching for now.

Good luck with these new projects

Daisy xx

Karmacat

daisy_1571 wrote: »

Good luck with these new projects

Daisy xx

From me too - there are *so* many teachers in my family, and I never liked the sound of it for me, even though there were so many things that could have been advantages.

AlexLK

daisy_1571 wrote: »

For the few weeks you have been doing this I would doubt there will be any long term effects on your relationship with the boy and well done on thinking through and deciding what you want to do. It hopefully feels good to have now made the decision. I think the increase in alcohol consumption recently shows clearly that it is a better choice healthwise for you to come out of teaching for now.

Good luck with these new projects

Daisy xx

I'd been trying to not care. I do but I can't make myself ill again. I didn't have a great day, let's just say I couldn't pretend I'm OK any longer. My parents now think they've a reason to be concerned - they haven't. Suppose I'm afraid I'm going to let more people down again and potentially harm my wife's reputation.

Really hope I get my enthusiasm back for being a parent again. At the moment I think my wife is more enthusiastic than I am.

Karmacat wrote: »

From me too - there are *so* many teachers in my family, and I never liked the sound of it for me, even though there were so many things that could have been advantages.

I didn't realise what it would be like on a full time basis, also didn't consider I had never got on with staff well when doing voluntary work. I didn't think it would have an impact but quickly found I couldn't work with the vast majority of them. Hadn't considered just how collaborative teaching is as I thought I be left alone (obviously not in this training year but from observing other more experienced teachers I found they weren't just left to get on with it either). Didn't bond with the pupils (did end up going to two schools after voicing my concerns) or other trainees.

badmemory

I too come from a long line of teachers & I decided before I hit my teens that there was no way I was following. Mostly because I didn't like the way they spoke AT people, including family members.