Renovations and Repayments.

AlexLK

Spend some of this afternoon after getting food shopping wondering around a few kitchen and bathroom shops. Priced up a few options for the bathroom and ideas are beginning to form. Found a few kitchen ideas, taken photos and will show Mrs K this evening as I think we could achieve something similar with not a lot of work to our own kitchen. Yes, I know I need to focus on the bathroom but I seem to have got the house renovation bug back... not sure if that's good or not and has the potential to get very expensive. :eek:

heartbreak_star wrote: »

Barring the hangover and the inadvertent embarrassment, it was the best weekend ever! Stag dos > hen dos hahaha

HBS x

Excellent.

SingleSue wrote: »

Youngest son gets really annoyed when others are moaning about not having the same chances as other, more well off families. As far as he is concerned, you put the work in, you get the results.

He's had it harder than most, not only is his background 'disadvantaged' (I don't agree with that title, we may have had less money but I certainly disagree that their education was disadvantaged because of it) but due to health reasons. His attendance at school and college was/is horrendous as he has multiple disabilities which require a fair amount of time off and hospital stays (to make it even more eek, he didn't actually go full time at school until he was 11!). To counter that, instead of sitting back and going woe is me, he has self taught his current courses and instead of being behind his peers in the classroom, he is in fact way way ahead of them. He has held the position of number 1 in his year for the last 18 months.

I agree though, parental support is vital. On our street mine are the only ones to go to university, other parents think of it as something only the well off do and not 'for our kind'. Maybe I think differently because my upbringing was very middle class with not a council house in sight, or maybe because my parents always told me that I could be or do anything if I put my mind to it.

I'm currently trying to support my niece in her GCSEs because neither of her parents appear to realise what is needed to give their child that extra oomph or confidence in themself.

I think your son has a good attitude to life. Unfortunately, too many parents seem to harbour a lot of negativity about education. It leads to children having low expectations of their own education in my experience. Therefore, often not trying as much as one would like.

AlexLK

April Targets:

OSPREYS - CHECK. Checked!
PLAN EASTER HOLIDAY
Make a decision re. bathroom / holiday / potential debt.
Total Grocery Spend: £125/ £400.
Surplus Money: / £800. :rotfl:
Bed before 11.30pm: 4 / 31.
Meditation: 5 / 31.
De-clutter and sell / 5 items. 2 items prepped.
New Recipes: / 4.
Books (to read for pleasure): / 3.
3 Things for Monday: 1. Prep two things to sell, Done.2. Plan HEALTHY meals for the week (managed to put 2kgs of the 4kg lost back on. Must be getting old as this isn't something I've ever had a problem with before ), Done. 3. Keep schedule and finances spreadsheet up to date. Done.

I've had a bit of a lightbulb moment tonight after discussing furniture on Ed's diary this evening. I happened to mention certain pieces could be passed to future generations for many years and he said something along the lines of such givers wishing to control their offspring. There was a bit more to it than that. Until that point I hadn't really considered the idea of a control element to passing things on to future generations, especially when there's an expectation. My parents are very controlling: they expect me to drop everything for them, have very clear ideas about where my son should spend his schooldays and what he should be working towards as a future profession and have a crystal clear plan about their estate and its succession amongst other things. I've seen how they've controlled others with money. I was physically controlled as a child, I suppose that's quite ok for their generation but there are moments they undermine me as a parent and have physically controlled my son. I sit with my father for hours everyday for him to tell me about the past, how I should deal with situations that are now so outdated, methods I should utilise as a parent etc. I don't think they can deal with the idea of their estate not providing a place to live and an income for my family.

-taff

AlexLK wrote: »

I've had a bit of a lightbulb moment tonight after discussing furniture on Ed's diary this evening. I happened to mention certain pieces could be passed to future generations for many years and he said something along the lines of such givers wishing to control their offspring.

Well thank god for lightbulb moments....of course, it's easy to have the LBM but acting on it is another matter...speaking from experience here.....

edinburgher

By physically controlled, do you mean hit?

A_Frayed_Knot

AlexLK wrote: »

My parents are idiots. They've gone to Spain and call me to say it is far too busy. Well, they chose to go over Easter. Apparently they didn't know it was Easter. :rotfl:

Hi, just popping in since you mention Easter :easter: . Had any more thoughts about buying your son and wife an Easter Egg :EasterBun , I'm sure we wrote about this last year and you mentioned you had not bought anyone an easter egg but may do next year - which has now came round.

Still following your diary - just very busy - so don't often comment.

AlexLK

April Targets:

OSPREYS - CHECK. Checked!
PLAN EASTER HOLIDAY
Make a decision re. bathroom / holiday / potential debt.
Total Grocery Spend: £135/ £400.
Surplus Money: / £800. :rotfl:
Bed before 11.30pm: 4 / 31. Last night was terrible, I didn't sleep until about 4am.
Meditation: 5 / 31.
De-clutter and sell / 5 items. 1 item now for sale, 1 being worked on.
New Recipes: / 4.
Books (to read for pleasure): / 3.
3 Things for Wednesday: 1. Go on a long walk with my son, 2. Remember it is a new day and a new opportunity, 3. Get everything done on the to-do list.

-taff wrote: »

Well thank god for lightbulb moments....of course, it's easy to have the LBM but acting on it is another matter...speaking from experience here.....

I doubt I will act on it but I am aware. I hope it will prevent me from trying to control my son's future.

edinburgher wrote: »

By physically controlled, do you mean hit?

Corporal punishment. My parents are of a generation where it was how one disciplined a child. Also, very different ideas about what contributes to "bad" behaviour.

A_Frayed_Knot wrote: »

Hi, just popping in since you mention Easter :easter: . Had any more thoughts about buying your son and wife an Easter Egg :EasterBun , I'm sure we wrote about this last year and you mentioned you had not bought anyone an easter egg but may do next year - which has now came round.

Still following your diary - just very busy - so don't often comment.

Hello, AFK!

My son wants to have an egg hunt. Currently, he thinks we won't be having one but I've planned otherwise. So, yes, we have Easter eggs.

A_Frayed_Knot

AlexLK wrote: »

Hello, AFK!

My son wants to have an egg hunt. Currently, he thinks we won't be having one but I've planned otherwise. So, yes, we have Easter eggs.

If I remember right, we spoke of that too. Eggscellent :rotfl: Have a great day.

edinburgher

I too was disciplined as a child, I don't think it is/was acceptable.

While I appreciate that I was definitely a difficult child at times, I couldn't go out in the street and hit someone who was causing me stress.

It changes your perceptions of people. For example, I loved my late grandfather dearly, but was also slightly scared of him as he was physically imposing and not averse to bum skelping :eek:

DD will not be exposed to that.

Ps. DD will also be having an Easter egg hunt, probably at the inlaws as their garden is more fun. We picked up a cute little purple tin bucket and a selection of small eggs, bunnies etc. for about £4 in Ald1.

AlexLK

Managed to go on a long walk this morning with my son and the dogs. Didn't have a terrible night's sleep but have a really bad headache and it's like I haven't slept in a couple of days this afternoon. Quite glad my son has been at a school friend's house for the afternoon.

Have put a couple of things up for sale today.

Finding items for the new bathroom is frustrating me at the moment. Everything I see that I like will take it way over budget. Current is a console basin with cabinet at £3,500. Not going to happen.

A_Frayed_Knot wrote: »

If I remember right, we spoke of that too. Eggscellent :rotfl: Have a great day.

:rotfl: Looking forward to it but hope the weather won't be too bad.

edinburgher wrote: »

I too was disciplined as a child, I don't think it is/was acceptable.

While I appreciate that I was definitely a difficult child at times, I couldn't go out in the street and hit someone who was causing me stress.

It changes your perceptions of people. For example, I loved my late grandfather dearly, but was also slightly scared of him as he was physically imposing and not averse to bum skelping :eek:

DD will not be exposed to that.

Ps. DD will also be having an Easter egg hunt, probably at the inlaws as their garden is more fun. We picked up a cute little purple tin bucket and a selection of small eggs, bunnies etc. for about £4 in Ald1.

I used to count down the days until I went back to school during the holidays. The effort I go to with my son is because I want things to be different for him.

This generation of parents I would like to think are a little more enlightened. I do not think it acceptable and have strong views against my son being exposed to it. As a result of my father deciding to undermine my parenting, my son's perceptions of his grandfather have definitely changed. For all my father's lectures about the respect he demands from others he has very little regard for anyone else apart from my mother. The same could be said of my mother.

People can be very different with children compared to how they are in general. I spent a lot of my summers and other breaks with my aunt and uncle. They despised me, were very harsh but my cousins never saw that side. Once I attempted to refuse to go there and my father found it acceptable for me to spend that following evening in the cellar until bedtime. I'd like to hope that by having a different approach to parenting, my son will know he has people that care about him.

We are having our Easter egg hunt here. I planned to have it in my parents' grounds but my wife insisted we have it here. Cooking for the in-laws after (parents-in-law, brother-in-law, his wife and two daughters), no idea how having nine people in total for dinner here is going to work so I think we'll have to drive over to my parents' anyway.

smallholdingsister

Alex. You can cook for 9 people in your house.