Renovations and Repayments.

AlexLK

Rather tired and negative I am watching TV. :eek: BBC2 France - The Wild Side: Natural World. I think I may play it on iplayer for my son later as he will love it. Anyone know if this is a one off or if it is a regular programme?

Have managed to get some things done today that have been useful. After writing this I am going to do a meditation before picking my son up in the hope of becoming more positive.

smallholdingsister wrote: »

Sorry. Mis read.

I think we've all done that from time to time.

LadyGnome wrote: »

Alex you can only do your best. The problem is too big for any one person to solve. All you can do is give the children a good start in life. If they don't achieve their full potential in life that is not down to you, its down to much bigger and wider issues around income, cultural capital, available resources, opportunities etc.

maman wrote: »

Alex, you are right that the standard of living of the 'poor' family was well above many of the children you probably teach. I've certainly come across far more deprived and hopeless families. It wasn't just the £100 a week they had to live on, but as you say this family really valued learning, did things with their children and chose not to live on benefits although it would have made them financially better off. Not sure about the mum (although she was very articulate) but the dad had several GCSEs although it seems the warehouse job paid more than something he could get using them. I suspect that the fact they had little family support, so many children and had them very young may have contributed to their situation. I'd imagine that in a year or so when the youngest can go to nursery, the mother might get some work and the family circumstances will improve. I think they are aspirational for their children but university with student loans may be one step too far.


All that being said, I'm sure you will always try to get your pupils to believe in themselves and their abilities. You can't change society all on your own but you can make a difference to a child's life.

I don't really know how to deal with this, to be honest. Watching the programme explained a lot re. behaviour and attitudes in some education settings I've been involved with. A lot of the children I teach at the voluntary school seem to have little confidence in their abilities. There are parents not buying materials which would help them with their education, I had not really considered anyone would not be able to afford to buy books or get rid of old furniture. They didn't have a car nor could they buy football boots for their son, that really shocked me. No excuses for the door, though.

Perhaps I am naive but I cannot imagine this happening in the UK. Having taught children from disadvantaged backgrounds, the programme made me wonder how many of them have adequate space and materials to practise / do prep for school etc. etc. I cannot see how 6 children and 2 adults in a 3 bed terrace can work nor can I see how it is allowed. If a prospective tenant wanted to rent a 3 bed cottage from me with 6 children, I'd tell them the house would be too small for them.

AlexLK

Debsnewbudget wrote: »

Its not something you can take reaponsibility for all by yourself Alex, but for every child you can help, that is one more than before.

Thanks, Debs.

kelpie35

All that being said, I'm sure you will always try to get your pupils to believe in themselves and their abilities. You can't change society all on your own but you can make a difference to a child's life.

Its not something you can take responsibility for all by yourself Alex, but for every child you can help, that is one more than before

Alex you have the ability to achieve this and you are already doing this with your volunteering

-taff

You can't fix the worlds problems, you can only help who you can help.
Don't get overwhelemd, just do litle bits that you can do.

maman

-taff wrote: »

You can't fix the worlds problems, you can only help who you can help.
Don't get overwhelemd, just do litle bits that you can do.

That's right Alex , learn from the experience rather than let it get to you. You'll certainly have a better appreciation of the possible circumstances of the pupils you teach. I worked in disadvantaged areas for many years so I saw them as a good family. Overcrowded but very supportive of their children and showing them that you worked for a living. The best thing was they were loved and cared for.

I think the parents in that programme would have made space and time for the children to do their homework. I think the bathroom door was partly set up to show the 'rich' dad (a bit like you ) had practical skills and wasn't above getting his hands dirty. Possibly the other father didn't have the skills or the time to get round to it and certainly not the funds to get someone in to do it.

edinburgher

It's nice that your FIL thinks of things you might be interested in, that shows he's paying attention and respects your interests

I'm lucky if my FIL can remember a conversation we had 5 minutes beforehand :rotfl:

Dansmam

Debsnewbudget wrote: »

Its not something you can take reaponsibility for all by yourself Alex, but for every child you can help, that is one more than before.

I love this quote and will be quoting it to anyone who'll listen. Alongside my dad's belief that you teach a child to read and they can teach themselves everything else.He wasn't thinking music but music is a language of its own and same applies. I got a library book out to learn to knit. But rusty now but I can get it out again or google if I need to.

AlexLK

April Targets:

OSPREYS - CHECK.
PLAN EASTER HOLIDAY This weekend, planned.
Make a decision re. bathroom / holiday / potential debt. My wife and I seem to have come to an agreement about the design of the bathroom. Lots of saved ideas and I think we may come in under budget.
Total Grocery Spend: £80/ £400. :eek:
Surplus Money: / £800.
Bed before 11.30pm: 0 / 31. :rotfl:
Meditation: 1 / 31.
De-clutter and sell / 5 items.
New Recipes: / 4.
Books (to read for pleasure): / 3.
3 Things for Tuesday: 1. Do wake up meditation, 2. Start working on first item to sell, 3. Practise piano.

3 Things for Monday 1. Have a positive day, :rotfl: 2. Find two things to prep to sell, Done, but not started prep.3. Start working on learning a piano piece. Done.

kelpie35 wrote: »

All that being said, I'm sure you will always try to get your pupils to believe in themselves and their abilities. You can't change society all on your own but you can make a difference to a child's life.

Its not something you can take responsibility for all by yourself Alex, but for every child you can help, that is one more than before

Alex you have the ability to achieve this and you are already doing this with your volunteering

Thanks, Kelpie.

I try my best with every pupil, though some can be very trying and exhausting.

-taff wrote: »

You can't fix the worlds problems, you can only help who you can help.
Don't get overwhelemd, just do litle bits that you can do.

Thanks, taff.

I do not know why these type of things really seem to affect me. The more I discover about others, the worse it seems to get. I suppose I have had somewhat of a sheltered life, really.

maman wrote: »

That's right Alex , learn from the experience rather than let it get to you. You'll certainly have a better appreciation of the possible circumstances of the pupils you teach. I worked in disadvantaged areas for many years so I saw them as a good family. Overcrowded but very supportive of their children and showing them that you worked for a living. The best thing was they were loved and cared for.

I think the parents in that programme would have made space and time for the children to do their homework. I think the bathroom door was partly set up to show the 'rich' dad (a bit like you ) had practical skills and wasn't above getting his hands dirty. Possibly the other father didn't have the skills or the time to get round to it and certainly not the funds to get someone in to do it.

Thanks, maman.

Both schools I do voluntary work in have a high number of disadvantaged pupils. It is like stepping into a different world. I have recently taken a step back from spending my own money on providing pupils with equipment and books. Instead, I've made funding applications for some pupils.

I can't say I've noticed practical skills to be linked to wealth. I always think of my mother when this type of thing is brought up, not so long ago she fixed her c.30 year old washing machine. :rotfl: In laws are also practical but would draw the line at fixing a 30 year old washing machine! My wife found it quite disturbing just how "gendered" both couples were, especially the younger one as she thought that had died out with most people under 55 or so. Interesting you should mention the "poor" father lacking skills / time as my wife said she'd be annoyed if she was him and got home to find the door still hadn't been rehung. So far as my wife is concerned, at home = available to do work to the house / cars / grounds. Do not doubt for a second if Mrs. K. were home more than I, she'd do most of the project work.

AlexLK

edinburgher wrote: »

It's nice that your FIL thinks of things you might be interested in, that shows he's paying attention and respects your interests

I'm lucky if my FIL can remember a conversation we had 5 minutes beforehand :rotfl:

My father-in-law and I used to have a terrible relationship (well, both in-laws and I) but we've both made an effort to put the past behind us. It's working very well.

Dansmam wrote: »

I love this quote and will be quoting it to anyone who'll listen. Alongside my dad's belief that you teach a child to read and they can teach themselves everything else.He wasn't thinking music but music is a language of its own and same applies. I got a library book out to learn to knit. But rusty now but I can get it out again or google if I need to.

I agree to a point re. reading but understand the sentiment. Reading + discipline and patience to practise a skill + not being afraid to ask for advice = a good way to being able to teach yourself most things.

heartbreak_star

Alex, if nothing else had convinced me that you're a good person despite what you may think of yourself, your reaction to that TV show would some people would be deriding the poor family but you are shocked and more determined to do your best by your pupils

Well done, good sir.

HBS x