Renovations and Repayments.

-taff

There was a reason why you spent money and got into debt that had nothing to do with money and everything to do with what you were buying.

Work out why you were buying stuff or spending money on stuff, or what the stuff you spent money on represented, and the chances are, you're not going to do it again.


Foe instance, I spent money on stupid things, like clothes I never wore, or buying myself things because 'I deserved it'. I didn't deserve antyhing, not because I'm unworthy of things, but because I was investing magical qualities in the things I was buying, that I woudl look good, that I would be happy, that I would be different if I purchased whatever it was I purchased..

AlexLK

April Targets:

OSPREYS - CHECK.
PLAN EASTER HOLIDAY :eek:
Make a decision re. bathroom / holiday / potential debt. My wife and I have talked about the bathroom project quite a lot this weekend and have decided we are going to take on the vast majority of the project ourselves. We are going to pay tradesmen to change the layout and fit the shower unit. The rest (removal / strip down, refit, flooring, tiling, decorating etc etc) will be up to Mrs K and I. Budget is going to remain at £8,000 which should allow us to purchase some better quality materials and / or come in under budget. The downside to this is we are going to be working on this ASAP rather than in September as I think that would become too hectic which likely means some 0% debt as my wife insists this is better than borrowing from the business. The upside, we have complete control over our final finish and get to learn some more skills.
Total Grocery Spend: £20/ £400.
Surplus Money: / £800.
Bed before 11.30pm: 0 / 31. :rotfl: We went out last night and my wife had a late night too.
Meditation: 0 / 31.
De-clutter and sell / 5 items.
New Recipes: / 4.
Books (to read for pleasure): / 3.
3 Things for Monday 1. Have a positive day, 2. Find two things to prep to sell, 3. Start working on learning a piano piece.

-taff wrote: »

There was a reason why you spent money and got into debt that had nothing to do with money and everything to do with what you were buying.

Work out why you were buying stuff or spending money on stuff, or what the stuff you spent money on represented, and the chances are, you're not going to do it again.


Foe instance, I spent money on stupid things, like clothes I never wore, or buying myself things because 'I deserved it'. I didn't deserve antyhing, not because I'm unworthy of things, but because I was investing magical qualities in the things I was buying, that I woudl look good, that I would be happy, that I would be different if I purchased whatever it was I purchased..

Thanks, taff. That make a lot of sense.

My previous debt had everything to do with me being completely unable to budget and not being able to face living within our means.

kelpie35

My previous debt had everything to do with me being completely unable to budget and not being able to face living within our means.

Ah but Alex you are now a new man.

You are doing so well on all fronts.

Look forward to hearing all about the new bathroom. I think you have made a very wise decision about starting it just now.

Take care

AlexLK

Thanks, Kelpie.

I'm quite looking forward to starting it at the moment.

As to why I'm up past midnight (again :mad:), my father-in-law sent a message to my wife about watching a TV programme Rich House, Poor House because he thought I might find it useful in relation to my teaching (volunteer schools, potential future schools or individual pupils). The basic synopsis is as follows: two families swap lives for a week, one with earnings in the top 10% and one bottom 10%. It dawned on me that some of the pupils at the volunteer schools live in households like the bottom 10% one, in this case the couple had six children and lived in a 3 bed terraced house. Neighbours were shouting obscenities, they couldn't all sit around their dining table and they had c.£100 per week to spend on food, utilities and other essentials. The father was up at 4am to cycle to work and many of their appliances were broken. It was brilliant to see them displaying school certificates but the whole thing just made me feel ill. I realise some of it may have been sensationalised for TV but it was awful. I thought things were bad a few months ago when I couldn't really afford to run my 15mpg '72 XJ6 on a daily basis and was running father's 40mpg '16 XJ. I've been called quite a few names by pupils and parents (much of it meant in jest) but I suppose I hadn't considered it probably seems as if I'm from a different world. Can't see how those children can be ready to learn everyday even in an environment where the parents are clearly trying to make the best of things: father was working and both parents seemed to care a great deal about the children's well-being and future. However, it was chaotic. Some children I teach at the school I volunteer do not have that kind of support.

The mother said if things had been different (her upbringing) she would have liked to be a midwife. All I could think is why hasn't she done it? To be honest, I think she thought it beyond her, out of her reach and that is incredibly sad. After watching that and thinking about this I know I'm not going to be able to understand. It concerns me that I may fail such pupils as a teacher. The last thing I want is for my pupils to grow up thinking even a modest career / level of education is beyond them. I also don't necessarily think throwing money at "the problem" is the answer, either. It goes beyond that.

smallholdingsister

Why did your Dad msg Mrs K instead of you?

AlexLK

Terrible night's sleep and struggling this morning.

Need to do some work and want to find a couple of things to prep for sale; bathroom project is now imminent. :eek:

smallholdingsister wrote: »

Why did your Dad msg Mrs K instead of you?

AlexLK wrote: »

... my father-in-law sent a message to my wife ...

My father didn't send anyone a message.

LadyGnome

AlexLK wrote: »

The mother said if things had been different (her upbringing) she would have liked to be a midwife. All I could think is why hasn't she done it? To be honest, I think she thought it beyond her, out of her reach and that is incredibly sad. After watching that and thinking about this I know I'm not going to be able to understand. It concerns me that I may fail such pupils as a teacher. The last thing I want is for my pupils to grow up thinking even a modest career / level of education is beyond them. I also don't necessarily think throwing money at "the problem" is the answer, either. It goes beyond that.

Alex you can only do your best. The problem is too big for any one person to solve. All you can do is give the children a good start in life. If they don't achieve their full potential in life that is not down to you, its down to much bigger and wider issues around income, cultural capital, available resources, opportunities etc.

smallholdingsister

Sorry. Mis read.

maman

Alex, you are right that the standard of living of the 'poor' family was well above many of the children you probably teach. I've certainly come across far more deprived and hopeless families. It wasn't just the £100 a week they had to live on, but as you say this family really valued learning, did things with their children and chose not to live on benefits although it would have made them financially better off. Not sure about the mum (although she was very articulate) but the dad had several GCSEs although it seems the warehouse job paid more than something he could get using them. I suspect that the fact they had little family support, so many children and had them very young may have contributed to their situation. I'd imagine that in a year or so when the youngest can go to nursery, the mother might get some work and the family circumstances will improve. I think they are aspirational for their children but university with student loans may be one step too far.


All that being said, I'm sure you will always try to get your pupils to believe in themselves and their abilities. You can't change society all on your own but you can make a difference to a child's life.

Debsnewbudget

Its not something you can take reaponsibility for all by yourself Alex, but for every child you can help, that is one more than before.