Renovations and Repayments.

maman

AlexLK wrote: »

The truth is I can't really imagine a life without her. As time has passed, I'm not sure I can potentially initiate a divorce that I'm fairly certain she doesn't want. The thought of being alone is currently much worse than the thought of not being respected by my wife. I do think some of her behaviours in recent times are my fault; we've been through a lot together and she decided to stay with me through some very dark times in my life. Through her 20s she worked hard and looked after me when I couldn't function. I know most would have ran away from that, especially at that age. All her friends were single and having a good time, she was adjusting to having bought a derelict house in a rural location (she'd never lived out of a city / town before and the house wasn't her choice), newly married to a husband who was falling apart. I doubt I'll ever stop being thankful for the fact she didn't do the easy thing nor will I stop being thankful to her for agreeing to have our son.

Really, I suppose I know I'm not her equal but am paranoid my son will think it is fine for him to be walked over in a relationship when he's older.

:wall::wall::wall:
You're probably a lot more grown up than she is and it wouldn't be the first marriage to fail because partners grew apart.


BUT I understand that you want to stay together but that really doesn't mean you have to just look for trust and then put up with anything and everything that MrsK decides is acceptable. I'd be looking for respect and until you can like yourself and realise you are her equal and deserve it then you'll just be miserable. If you can't do it for yourself, then do it to be a strong role model for LittleK.


On a lighter note, I know you've bought a number of books to prepare for your course but do you have your slippers ready?:D
http://www.derbytelegraph.co.uk/derby-school-is-letting-pupils-wear-slippers-after-study-finds-it-improves-learning/story-30091688-detail/story.html

AlexLK

January 2017.
No alcohol - 29/28, :T.
No sweet treats - 12/31, :rotfl:.
Walking - 31/31 9,000.
Savings - £0, .
Going to bed at a reasonable time - 8/31, not sure whether I'm :mad: I've had a terrible month so far as sleeping is concerned or :rotfl: at the mere thought I would manage to go to bed at a reasonable time everyday of the month.

So, that was January. It's been a really difficult month. Still ill but a little better than I was yesterday. I do want to aim to save some money in February and do a little better than 8 times going to bed at a reasonable (before midnight) time.

Therefore, my targets for February are going to be related to my finances and productivity:
Total Grocery Spend: >£500.
Savings: £250.
Keep track of and reply to emails / messages / 'phone calls in a timely manner.
Update spreadsheet.
Going to bed at a reasonable time: /28. Well, there are 28 opportunities to do so ... :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

maman wrote: »

:wall::wall::wall:
You're probably a lot more grown up than she is and it wouldn't be the first marriage to fail because partners grew apart.

BUT I understand that you want to stay together but that really doesn't mean you have to just look for trust and then put up with anything and everything that MrsK decides is acceptable. I'd be looking for respect and until you can like yourself and realise you are her equal and deserve it then you'll just be miserable. If you can't do it for yourself, then do it to be a strong role model for LittleK.

On a lighter note, I know you've bought a number of books to prepare for your course but do you have your slippers ready?:D
http://www.derbytelegraph.co.uk/derby-school-is-letting-pupils-wear-slippers-after-study-finds-it-improves-learning/story-30091688-detail/story.html

Thank you, maman.

:rotfl: Yes, I am somewhat more "grown up" than my wife in many ways.

One of the reasons I got myself in this situation before Christmas is I decided I needed to be able to trust her and for her to respect me. At the moment, I'm not really sure how I can have any respect for myself if I pretend nothing has happened. This evening my wife called and also said goodnight to our son, I was really surprised she thought to call just before his bedtime. She told me that she doesn't want to lose me and apparently wants to be with me rather than visiting bars. A few months back she told me she thought she was getting "too old" for going out to bars when working away. I hope she is "growing up", though I'm not going to invest too much hope and trust before she's proven herself trustworthy for more than one night.

I've seen the article about "slipper school" before. :rotfl: I'm very cynical about the idea / study, what do you think from a professional point of view, maman?

AlexLK

Posted this up on someone else's diary (my meal plan for the next three days) as I want to know if others consider my food consumption extravagant? All cooked from scratch, so no expensive pre-made sauces etc. to buy. Personally, I think it is fairly well balanced and healthy enough. I believe we get enough fruit / veg but I don't count any amounts against recommended allowances.

Wednesday:
Breakfast: Fruit salad: grapefruit, red grapes, banana, orange, apple.
Lunch: Roasted vegetable cous cous with carrots and humous.
Dinner: Cod with potatoes, broccoli, samphire and peas in parsley sauce.

Thursday:
Breakfast: Fruit salad (as Weds.)
Lunch: Pasta salad in tomato and red pepper sauce with sliced chicken and olives.
Dinner: Pork loin with stir-fried vegetables in a chilli and ginger sauce.

Friday:
Breakfast: Smoked trout and poached egg on English muffin.
Lunch: Dressed crab salad.
Dinner: Chicken in a pomegranate and wine sauce with cous cous.

maman

You should be in bed!

Since you asked, I can see that there are practical reasons why slippers would help. I remember the difference it made when we had carpets fitted in all classrooms. The noise levels were cut immediately with no rattling chairs and noise in general absorbed. Then the problem was the mud that came in after breaktimes so changing to slippers would have helped. Children I've heard interviewed say they're also happier as it makes them feel more at home. Beyond that I think it sounds a bit fanciful but if it helps I'm not knocking it.

I did hear crazy extrapolations and comparisons with Scandinavian schools where children wear indoor shoes there (when they've taken their snowboots off). The fact their curriculum is totally different seems to be irrelevant!:rotfl:

badmemory

Menu sounds very interesting - particularly friday dinner. I would add healthy, but that tends to imply to some that it is boring and I must say that your menu is definitely not boring.

Re shoes - back when I was at Grammar School (over 50 yrs ago) we had indoor and outdoor shoes. An excellent idea but detention if you get caught elsewhere in outdoor shoes. It must have saved a fortune in cleaners wages though. I must say I feel sorry for todays kids with all the stuff they carry around. They don't even seem to trust the security of their lockers. We used to be able to leave things in our unlockable desks.

maman

AlexLK wrote: »

Posted this up on someone else's diary (my meal plan for the next three days) as I want to know if others consider my food consumption extravagant? All cooked from scratch, so no expensive pre-made sauces etc. to buy. Personally, I think it is fairly well balanced and healthy enough. I believe we get enough fruit / veg but I don't count any amounts against recommended allowances.

Wednesday:
Breakfast: Fruit salad: grapefruit, red grapes, banana, orange, apple.
Lunch: Roasted vegetable cous cous with carrots and humous.
Dinner: Cod with potatoes, broccoli, samphire and peas in parsley sauce.

Thursday:
Breakfast: Fruit salad (as Weds.)
Lunch: Pasta salad in tomato and red pepper sauce with sliced chicken and olives.
Dinner: Pork loin with stir-fried vegetables in a chilli and ginger sauce.

Friday:
Breakfast: Smoked trout and poached egg on English muffin.
Lunch: Dressed crab salad.
Dinner: Chicken in a pomegranate and wine sauce with cous cous.

I agree it's an interesting menu and if cooking more interesting things motivates you then go for it! Yes, you do have some more expensive ingredients in there but as I assume your parents are either contributing to or paying the grocery bill then I can see why they're enjoying you cooking for them. If LittleK is taking the same lunches to school then it's brilliant to be introducing him to a range of foods too.


On the downside then I'd say that Friday's menu could do with some more veg. I often roast a few tomatoes and mushrooms in the oven alongside other dishes or you could make a tabouleh style couscous by chopping salad veg into it. I think you could probably do with a bit more fibre (wholemeal bread or cereal?) and dairy for calcium (I can't see any in there at all and it's particularly important for your mother and son).


Lastly....


Wot no puddings????:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Kittenkirst

maman wrote: »

Wot no puddings????:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

This was my initial thoughts exactly Maman!

misscousinitt

Menu sounds great Alex!

There are one or two pricey ingredients eg Dressed Crab - but if it's not everyday then it's nice to have a treat.

There are cheaper ingredients you can use without compromising on quality.

I agree that there seems to be a bit calcium light - maybe add some greek yoghurt to your fruit salad??

MCI

AlexLK

maman wrote: »

You should be in bed!

Since you asked, I can see that there are practical reasons why slippers would help. I remember the difference it made when we had carpets fitted in all classrooms. The noise levels were cut immediately with no rattling chairs and noise in general absorbed. Then the problem was the mud that came in after breaktimes so changing to slippers would have helped. Children I've heard interviewed say they're also happier as it makes them feel more at home. Beyond that I think it sounds a bit fanciful but if it helps I'm not knocking it.

I did hear crazy extrapolations and comparisons with Scandinavian schools where children wear indoor shoes there (when they've taken their snowboots off). The fact their curriculum is totally different seems to be irrelevant!:rotfl:

:rotfl: Different night, same time. Terrible. Anyhow, it appears I was not the only one still up last night.

I too noticed the comparisons to Scandinavian schools and wondered what the point of that was too.

badmemory wrote: »

Menu sounds very interesting - particularly friday dinner. I would add healthy, but that tends to imply to some that it is boring and I must say that your menu is definitely not boring.

Re shoes - back when I was at Grammar School (over 50 yrs ago) we had indoor and outdoor shoes. An excellent idea but detention if you get caught elsewhere in outdoor shoes. It must have saved a fortune in cleaners wages though. I must say I feel sorry for todays kids with all the stuff they carry around. They don't even seem to trust the security of their lockers. We used to be able to leave things in our unlockable desks.

Thank you, badmemory.

It was the idea of having lessons in slippers specifically that I thought particularly bizarre.

maman wrote: »

I agree it's an interesting menu and if cooking more interesting things motivates you then go for it! Yes, you do have some more expensive ingredients in there but as I assume your parents are either contributing to or paying the grocery bill then I can see why they're enjoying you cooking for them. If LittleK is taking the same lunches to school then it's brilliant to be introducing him to a range of foods too.

On the downside then I'd say that Friday's menu could do with some more veg. I often roast a few tomatoes and mushrooms in the oven alongside other dishes or you could make a tabouleh style couscous by chopping salad veg into it. I think you could probably do with a bit more fibre (wholemeal bread or cereal?) and dairy for calcium (I can't see any in there at all and it's particularly important for your mother and son).

Lastly....

Wot no puddings????:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Trying to cook a varied and interesting menu does motivate me to actually cook. :rotfl: Rather enjoy trying new things and knowing exactly where all the food on my plate has come from. Better than the old days when my wife and I used to argue over cooking - who was going to do it.

My son eats exactly the same as I eat. I don't believe in feeding children junk simply because they are children. If he doesn't like things after trying them on five separate occasions, that's fair to me and we will try in a few years time. If he still doesn't like it then, I think it would be fair to say he genuinely doesn't like that particular food. Generally he's very good though and enjoys most foods.

I buy and cook all the food for our main meals. I don't want them to pay, suppose I'm trying to remain independent in some area of my life.

That's a fair point about Friday's menu. There is a whole onion that goes into the sauce and 1/2 a pomegranate (yes, I know that's a fruit!). Roasted cherry vine tomatoes would make a nice addition to the cous cous too. To be fair, we have fruit for snacks and often have some carrots chopped up (son loves raw carrot) in the music room.

I've made some bread tonight. Yes, this is what my life has come to ... :rotfl: Crab salad will be accompanied with a bread roll. As for calcium, my son has a glass of milk before school and a glass of milk before bed. I don't operate as a milk monitor for my mother, though.

Father is the culprit so far as puddings go. He will go out and come back with something from one of the many cake shops in town. He also encourages my son's baking.

AlexLK

Kittenkirst wrote: »

This was my initial thoughts exactly Maman!

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

misscousinitt wrote: »

Menu sounds great Alex!

There are one or two pricey ingredients eg Dressed Crab - but if it's not everyday then it's nice to have a treat.

There are cheaper ingredients you can use without compromising on quality.

I agree that there seems to be a bit calcium light - maybe add some greek yoghurt to your fruit salad??

MCI

Thanks, MCI.

No, we don't have Dressed Crab / Lobster / Caviar / Oysters everyday, probably one of those every two / three weeks.

What cheaper ingredients would you recommend and to replace what?

I used to have Greek yoghurt with fruit salad but from checking levels of fat, it didn't seem very good for you? I don't buy low fat / fat free products as to me they've been messed about with in some way or another. After Christmas I'd put on 3kg of weight, been the same weight since my early 20s before then. I suppose I'm a bit paranoid about getting older. Always remember people who didn't really know me referring to my father as my "grandfather" when I were a boy, I'd be fairly mortified if that happened to me when I'm with my son. A bit vain, I know. :rotfl: Have now managed to get rid of the weight gain and not grey yet, so there's a good start.