Renovations and Repayments.

newgirly

Morning Alex, I don't think money has much to do with levels of happiness in general except when you are worried and feeding the kids and heating to keep them warm type poor.

You are already worrying about littlek leaving you which is sad, we all feel like that sometimes. That's why teenagers were invented, so you want to detach from them :rotfl:

Sorry if this is out of order but I think you need to spend time with friends , if this is not possible maybe try and meet new people who may in time become friends. I am purely thinking from my perspective about the difference friends make to my life, is that some thing that might help or am I way off the mark?!

cazmanian_minx

AlexLK wrote: »

Work wise it seems as if life has passed me by. Yesterday I was rather envious that my wife has an interesting and fulfilling career. Nothing to do with money and everything to do with the challenge and development being in a profession can bring.

No it hasn't You're younger than I am and I'm just starting on a brand new career aged 40. A friend of mine left the Army in her 40s and went on to have a stellar career with one of the top management consultancy firms (though to be fair, being a Colonel did give her quite a lot of the necessary attributes to do that). Another friend in her 40s has just finished a law degree with the Open University, got a First, and is now deciding whether she wants to stay in her current field, in which she is well-respected and highly paid, or look for a training contract to become a solicitor.

If you want an extreme example, the author Mary Wesley had her first adult novel published at the age of 71 and went on to sell millions of books before she stopped writing at 84 :D

Fay

Alex I've continued reading your diary but not posting. I would recommend you read the following book https://books.google.co.uk/books?id=jtXoO_5MFlcC&pg=PA17&lpg=PA17&dq=ellis+how+to+make+yourself+thoroughly+miserable&source=bl&ots=f12bFhQ7FV&sig=NGzxUP_h59uE5_YhWuDcbdYQTTo&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjQr4OmianLAhUBORQKHaR0A-YQ6AEIGzAA#v=onepage&q=ellis%20how%20to%20make%20yourself%20thoroughly%20miserable&f=false and also read some Arthur Schopenhauer. As a psychologist I would formulate a lot of your issues as a self pity based depression, which probably sounds harsh, but consider it.

hiddenshadow

AlexLK wrote: »

I know I won't manage to save £11,000 this year, as I did last year. This feels like failure to me. If I knew £10,000 would be doable, I wouldn't feel so bad but there's not a chance I'm going to reach 5 figures this year. For the next few years, I'm aware the money situation isn't going to be getting any better unless my parents have a change of heart (doubtful).

I wasn't suggesting you try and repeat last year's goal, as AFK pointed out you already did that.

Maybe in a month saving £100 makes sense. Or maybe £1,000. Or maybe you decide to spend £200 and flip pens off eb@y. :rotfl: Point is, you have a month to decide, and as long as it seems like an interesting/sensible/worthwhile/insert-other-positive-attribute-here goal, go for it. No need to worry about figuring out bigger/longer-term things until you've got some momentum (unless you're inspired in the meantime, of course).

A_Frayed_Knot

Lets not rush things.

Start with the 1 month challenge first

AlexLK

A_Frayed_Knot wrote: »

Fantastic:T - Loving this idea - thinking about it Clever you :A as you have merged 2 challenges in 1, first the declutter, and Second - making some £££ :j:j:j

To me and a whole lot of others "Health is your Wealth" but most don't realise until they are ill.

I'll be watching for Tuesday's post - which I might have already mentioned is your 1st anniversary of starting your diary

:rotfl: Re. the decluttering. You've no idea how much I am not looking forward to that part but the house (and garaging) really needs clearing out.

I understand re. health. Personally, I have no physical ailments but my mental health is not good. Had a terrible morning, then spend the rest of the day in regret.

Thanks, re. Tuesday. Also, thank you for giving me something of a "deadline", think I needed that.

newgirly wrote: »

Morning Alex, I don't think money has much to do with levels of happiness in general except when you are worried and feeding the kids and heating to keep them warm type poor.

You are already worrying about littlek leaving you which is sad, we all feel like that sometimes. That's why teenagers were invented, so you want to detach from them :rotfl:

Sorry if this is out of order but I think you need to spend time with friends , if this is not possible maybe try and meet new people who may in time become friends. I am purely thinking from my perspective about the difference friends make to my life, is that some thing that might help or am I way off the mark?!

I think you're right, NG. My only problem is the fact I feel I've failed my wife and son because I grew up with a lot more. Also failed myself but that doesn't matter so much.

I've been worried about my son leaving almost from when he was a year old. He makes life just about bearable for me.

Not out of order but I don't really have any friends. Can't blame others for not wanting to spend time with me, to be honest.

cazmanian_minx wrote: »

No it hasn't You're younger than I am and I'm just starting on a brand new career aged 40. A friend of mine left the Army in her 40s and went on to have a stellar career with one of the top management consultancy firms (though to be fair, being a Colonel did give her quite a lot of the necessary attributes to do that). Another friend in her 40s has just finished a law degree with the Open University, got a First, and is now deciding whether she wants to stay in her current field, in which she is well-respected and highly paid, or look for a training contract to become a solicitor.

If you want an extreme example, the author Mary Wesley had her first adult novel published at the age of 71 and went on to sell millions of books before she stopped writing at 84 :D

I think my main problem is I've no confidence anymore, there's lots of things I'd like to try but won't. One being going into teaching but don't think I'd be able to cope and just let my family, the school, the pupils and parents down. I suppose I use my age as an excuse (not really that old, I know).

AlexLK

Fay wrote: »

Alex I've continued reading your diary but not posting. I would recommend you read the following book https://books.google.co.uk/books?id=jtXoO_5MFlcC&pg=PA17&lpg=PA17&dq=ellis+how+to+make+yourself+thoroughly+miserable&source=bl&ots=f12bFhQ7FV&sig=NGzxUP_h59uE5_YhWuDcbdYQTTo&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjQr4OmianLAhUBORQKHaR0A-YQ6AEIGzAA#v=onepage&q=ellis%20how%20to%20make%20yourself%20thoroughly%20miserable&f=false and also read some Arthur Schopenhauer. As a psychologist I would formulate a lot of your issues as a self pity based depression, which probably sounds harsh, but consider it.

Thank you. Yes, you're right.

hiddenshadow wrote: »

I wasn't suggesting you try and repeat last year's goal, as AFK pointed out you already did that.

Maybe in a month saving £100 makes sense. Or maybe £1,000. Or maybe you decide to spend £200 and flip pens off eb@y. :rotfl: Point is, you have a month to decide, and as long as it seems like an interesting/sensible/worthwhile/insert-other-positive-attribute-here goal, go for it. No need to worry about figuring out bigger/longer-term things until you've got some momentum (unless you're inspired in the meantime, of course).

My frustration is I met last year's goal but cannot achieve the same this year due to a bad start.

Thank you.

A_Frayed_Knot wrote: »

Lets not rush things.

Start with the 1 month challenge first

Today would've been a good day to start the decluttering.

A_Frayed_Knot

AlexLK wrote: »

Thank you. Yes, you're right.



My frustration is I met last year's goal but cannot achieve the same this year due to a bad start.

Thank you.



Today would've been a good day to start the decluttering.

I was just thinking the same - there's nothing stopping you from starting right now - why not - lets see what you can get done between now and Tuesday.

Look forward to you posting your goal (officially) and an update on just how much you have managed to do from Saturday and Tuesday.

You mentioned the whole house needs declutterring - mine too - so decided most of the house would be "normal":rotfl: and I would have 1 room - that would be the stock/store/junk/decluttering needed done room and if I had a garage - it would all be put in there:)

Get to it :T

ps Who needs the same goal 2 years running ? I get bored easily - Make it a different one this year

AlexLK

A_Frayed_Knot wrote: »

I was just thinking the same - there's nothing stopping you from starting right now - why not - lets see what you can get done between now and Tuesday.

Look forward to you posting your goal (officially) and an update on just how much you have managed to do from Saturday and Tuesday.

You mentioned the whole house needs declutterring - mine too - so decided most of the house would be "normal":rotfl: and I would have 1 room - that would be the stock/store/junk/decluttering needed done room and if I had a garage - it would all be put in there:)

Get to it :T

ps Who needs the same goal 2 years running ? I get bored easily - Make it a different one this year

:rotfl: I actually had a decent excuse this afternoon... I had to accompany my niece's saxophone exam. I suppose I could've started this evening. However, I was feeling extremely low. No doubt tonight will be another sleepless night as I'm rather disturbed by some of my earlier thoughts.

Tuesday Mrs K and I are going to see an opera. However, I will post my goal and hopefully some progress before I go to bed. To be honest, I'm sat here dreading it as I'm concerned I won't manage to complete the task.

Most people would likely be horrified by the amount of "stuff" in my house / garaging / outdoors. I know I've got about 40 wheels for cars we no longer own.

Re. goals. I'd agree if I were doing better this year but I'm doing worse.

A_Frayed_Knot

AlexLK wrote: »

:rotfl: I actually had a decent excuse this afternoon... I had to accompany my niece's saxophone exam. I suppose I could've started this evening. However, I was feeling extremely low. No doubt tonight will be another sleepless night as I'm rather disturbed by some of my earlier thoughts.

Tuesday Mrs K and I are going to see an opera. However, I will post my goal and hopefully some progress before I go to bed. To be honest, I'm sat here dreading it as I'm concerned I won't manage to complete the task.

Most people would likely be horrified by the amount of "stuff" in my house / garaging / outdoors. I know I've got about 40 wheels for cars we no longer own.

Re. goals. I'd agree if I were doing better this year but I'm doing worse.

I Need a bit of education here, what on earth do you do with 40 wheels for cars you no longer own ?


Could you get ££ for them or are they scrap, or collectors pieces ? or just dust collectors


AND STOP telling yourself your doing worse than last year, so you had a good year last year:j, TODAY is a different year, different goal (yet to be made) do you want to go for a 1/2/3 or 4 week goal, its up to you.