Renovations and Repayments.

AlexLK

newgirly wrote: »

Morning Alex, you both seem to be repeating the same arguments quite often, can a compromise be reached? I can understand that she is worried that having family money may influence him as he gets older, I would be worried about how to best handle that too.

Yes, unfortunately Mrs K and I do have the same disagreements. Not really arguments as I usually manage to remain silent.

maman wrote: »

Me too.


Only the other week, Alex, you seemed to be planning out a future for LittleK helping you run the family business.

Ideally, I'd like that to happen after he's completed his studies. Not sure what's wrong with that? However, if my son wants to do something different, that would be his choice.

gallygirl wrote: »

That's what worries me 😱

:rotfl:

AlexLK

A_Frayed_Knot wrote: »

It has come to my notice you wanted to "get on track" throughout your postings.

I always want to "get on track" but always seem to fail to do so. Not really sure how to change the mortgage situation until my parents decide I'm "responsible" (yes, really :mad:) enough to be allowed a decent salary for managing their affairs. My financial hardship seems like some kind of sick punishment at times. Anyhow ...

A_Frayed_Knot wrote: »

Challenge -
Please list 3 "items" "things to do" financial plans/savings - can be anything you want before 8th March 2016 which will be your 1st anniversary of your 1st posting in your Diary on this thread.


Just 3 simple "items" "things" then you can work towards them, instead of just saying "I've not done this or that yet


List of 3 - 1 week I will be watching for your post next Tuesday

Thank you. I do need to try to be less negative and more active about doing things rather than dealing with the near constant regretful reflection after running away from dealing with it in the moment. Keeping records must be the thing I do this with the most.

When do the items / things need to be completed by?

A_Frayed_Knot

AlexLK wrote: »

I always want to "get on track" but always seem to fail to do so. Not really sure how to change the mortgage situation until my parents decide I'm "responsible" (yes, really :mad:) enough to be allowed a decent salary for managing their affairs. My financial hardship seems like some kind of sick punishment at times. Anyhow ...



Thank you. I do need to try to be less negative and more active about doing things rather than dealing with the near constant regretful reflection after running away from dealing with it in the moment. Keeping records must be the thing I do this with the most.

When do the items / things need to be completed by?

That would be entirely up to you - its your goal and your time limit, but I would like to suggest;


1. One month - a nice short item/goal would give you a boost and would not be too long to either get bored or lose interest.
2. Two months and 3. Three months, you get the drift. Its really up to you, absolutely no pressure.


Do you have goals in mind, if not, start thinking what could you achieve in a month, and if you get stuck, (but hopefully not) as these need to be your goals and time aims, although we're here to suggest/help/encourage, cause that's what we do best - support each other any way we can, just say the word.

maman

maman wrote: »

Only the other week, Alex, you seemed to be planning out a future for LittleK helping you run the family business.

AlexLK wrote: »

Ideally, I'd like that to happen after he's completed his studies. Not sure what's wrong with that? However, if my son wants to do something different, that would be his choice.

No problem having that as a dream and keeping it to yourself I suppose but, to me, it sounds like more of you wanting to keep him close in his adult life just as you want do now.


The best way for LittleK to live his life is for him to be free to pursue anything he wants to do without feeling he has to fulfil parental (or grandparental) obligations. And also (in my opinion) the converse is equally important in that he should grow up with the expectation that he makes his own way in the world and that and there isn't the option to just fall back on family money.

AlexLK

A_Frayed_Knot wrote: »

That would be entirely up to you - its your goal and your time limit, but I would like to suggest;

1. One month - a nice short item/goal would give you a boost and would not be too long to either get bored or lose interest.
2. Two months and 3. Three months, you get the drift. Its really up to you, absolutely no pressure.

Do you have goals in mind, if not, start thinking what could you achieve in a month, and if you get stuck, (but hopefully not) as these need to be your goals and time aims, although we're here to suggest/help/encourage, cause that's what we do best - support each other any way we can, just say the word.

Thank you, this seems like a really good idea. I'm going to try it.

As for the goals, I don't really have anything in mind. Unfortunately, I don't know what could be achieved in a month ... probably not much. I do appreciate the goals need to be my own.

maman wrote: »

No problem having that as a dream and keeping it to yourself I suppose but, to me, it sounds like more of you wanting to keep him close in his adult life just as you want do now.

The best way for LittleK to live his life is for him to be free to pursue anything he wants to do without feeling he has to fulfil parental (or grandparental) obligations. And also (in my opinion) the converse is equally important in that he should grow up with the expectation that he makes his own way in the world and that and there isn't the option to just fall back on family money.

Of course that's what I want. I dread that one day my son won't want to see me anymore. However, at no point would I stop my son from doing what he wants when he's older, though. Wife doesn't mind if he chooses to move away but she's got her work and friends. By then I likely won't have my parents and don't really have any friends or a career.

You know I disagree re. money because I don't want my son to ever suffer financial hardship (or any other type).

ourcornercottage

AlexLK wrote: »

. You know I disagree re. money because I don't want my son to ever suffer financial hardship (or any other type)

.

I actually agree with you on this but and its a big but, for this to work he has to be brought up from a young age to be very financially savvy. He will learn this from both what you and your wife teach him and what you and your wife actually do.

If he doesn't have a financial understanding and also isn't able to make small mistakes because you are protecting him he won't have great knowledge / experience to make good financial judgements leading to the potential for him making very bad choices. I think my view is I'm teaching Miniocc how to make good financial decisions and saving for him should be need it but I don't plan to bail him out, loan him money or give him things on a platter just because I can. He will learn for himself and I'd only get involved it something went seriously wrong, following ghis approach I don't think it will. Small elements of financial hardship could be a good thing in the long run.

Miniocc is already getting it, he has saved up £12 from his pocket money (given for doing chores) and was outraged when his dad suggested he should spend some on a Mother's Day present for me as he said he was saving it to put in the bank and he could make me something for free. I thought, that's my boy!

AlexLK

OOC, some interesting ideas to think about. Thank you. Not sure my mind is in the right place at the moment, for every couple of good days, it seems I have a couple of bad weeks.

Today has been very eventful. Not for the right reasons, either. This morning I was quite keen to do some work but that didn't happen and my son had an awful day at school. However, I did manage a couple of "good deeds" today: towed a broken down van home and spent some time helping an academically struggling pupil of mine with some prep for school SAT tests after his music lesson.

Really not sure how to move on with the finances. I think for my 1 month target I will vow to make £500 from unwanted / no longer used items. That would clear a little of the clutter in the house and boost the savings a little. No idea how to improve the situation in the medium term, though.

hiddenshadow

Love the 1 month goal!

Perhaps try and come up with another 1 month goal by the time this one is over, and maybe another after that. By then (June?) you should have some momentum and maybe something will inspire you as a longer-term target.

AlexLK

hiddenshadow wrote: »

Love the 1 month goal!

Perhaps try and come up with another 1 month goal by the time this one is over, and maybe another after that. By then (June?) you should have some momentum and maybe something will inspire you as a longer-term target.

Thank you.

I know I won't manage to save £11,000 this year, as I did last year. This feels like failure to me. If I knew £10,000 would be doable, I wouldn't feel so bad but there's not a chance I'm going to reach 5 figures this year. For the next few years, I'm aware the money situation isn't going to be getting any better unless my parents have a change of heart (doubtful).

Work wise it seems as if life has passed me by. Yesterday I was rather envious that my wife has an interesting and fulfilling career. Nothing to do with money and everything to do with the challenge and development being in a profession can bring. All too aware my son is starting to become a little more independent and one day won't want to spend time at home learning new things or working on cars with his Dad. Seems things are only going to get worse for me in the future. Realised a lot of my problems have little to do with money, to be honest.

A_Frayed_Knot

AlexLK wrote: »

I think for my 1 month target I will vow to make £500 from unwanted / no longer used items. That would clear a little of the clutter in the house .....

Fantastic:T - Loving this idea - thinking about it Clever you :A as you have merged 2 challenges in 1, first the declutter, and Second - making some £££ :j:j:j

AlexLK wrote: »

Thank you.
I know I won't manage to save £11,000 this year, as I did last year. This feels like failure to me.

That was Last Years challenge and can I just remind you, you PASSED :A that one with flying colours :T:T:T
Realised a lot of my problems have little to do with money, to be honest.

To me and a whole lot of others "Health is your Wealth" but most don't realise until they are ill.

I'll be watching for Tuesday's post - which I might have already mentioned is your 1st anniversary of starting your diary