The Garden Fence - help and support in tough times

ivyleaf

Aw Hester, DGS sounds a little star (well, not so little these days I suppose

Hard_Up_Hester

Evening all
I've just popped back for a bit of a rant.
My ex MIL is in a home and has been for a couple of years now but she isn't happy.
Her 2 sons also aren't happy as their inheritance is being eaten away.
So they have come up with a plan, they have asked my DD if she will have MIL to live with her, she has enough room.
They have offered her £16000 a year to take on MIL, now my DD loves her grandma and would care for her for nothing.
But she cannot live on fresh air, I'm not convinced that £16000 is adequate considering her food and fuel bills will go up, she is expected to provide 24 hour care, all clothing for MIL, entertainment a list has been provided, 2 x 2 week holidays each year for MIL. There is plenty of money available as the current fees are much more than this.
What do you all think, am I just being greedy?

Knit_Witch

Hard_Up_Hester wrote: »

Evening all
I've just popped back for a bit of a rant.
My ex MIL is in a home and has been for a couple of years now but she isn't happy.
Her 2 sons also aren't happy as their inheritance is being eaten away.
So they have come up with a plan, they have asked my DD if she will have MIL to live with her, she has enough room.
They have offered her £16000 a year to take on MIL, now my DD loves her grandma and would care for her for nothing.
But she cannot live on fresh air, I'm not convinced that £16000 is adequate considering her food and fuel bills will go up, she is expected to provide 24 hour care, all clothing for MIL, entertainment a list has been provided, 2 x 2 week holidays each year for MIL. There is plenty of money available as the current fees are much more than this.
What do you all think, am I just being greedy?

You are being pragmatic Hester! My Dad is in a place that provides everything and it costs him/us £1,500 per WEEK - take it as £500 to £1k per week for being in your DD's house and that is STILL a minimum of £10k MORE than they want to pay out.

charlie3090

Hard_Up_Hester wrote: »

Evening all
I've just popped back for a bit of a rant.
My ex MIL is in a home and has been for a couple of years now but she isn't happy.
Her 2 sons also aren't happy as their inheritance is being eaten away.
So they have come up with a plan, they have asked my DD if she will have MIL to live with her, she has enough room.
They have offered her £16000 a year to take on MIL, now my DD loves her grandma and would care for her for nothing.
But she cannot live on fresh air, I'm not convinced that £16000 is adequate considering her food and fuel bills will go up, she is expected to provide 24 hour care, all clothing for MIL, entertainment a list has been provided, 2 x 2 week holidays each year for MIL. There is plenty of money available as the current fees are much more than this.
What do you all think, am I just being greedy?

What a cheek,
why are they not doing it then or looking at an alternative home for her?,
she must have needs which is why shes in a home,
your dds life will just be spent running herself ragged,even 2 people cannot cover 24 hour care,
what a cheek:mad:

Hard_Up_Hester

Thanks Knitwitch, they have told DD that £16000 is what they are paying the current home.
Thanks Charlie, they have tried 2 homes and MIL didn't like either.
MIL has limited mobility and dementia, so she does have care needs.

Floss

HH Your DD should contact Help The Aged, as that is abuse - they are proposing to pay less than £310 a week for their Mother's care. There is nowhere in the UK that would provide what they want for that amount of money. And why does she get 2 x 2weeks holiday, when I guess your DD doesn't take any holidays with her family?

Knit_Witch

Hard_Up_Hester wrote: »

Thanks Knitwitch, they have told DD that £16000 is what they are paying the current home.
Thanks Charlie, they have tried 2 homes and MIL didn't like either.
MIL has limited mobility and dementia, so she does have care needs.

For the dementia patients at my Dad's place (who are kept on a separate but pleasant floor) it is a MINIMUM of £2k per week because of the fact that nurses/care is needed all the time (Dad is still all there mentally but frail with cancer and since my Mum died he has found it harder to look after himself and with me being disabled I can't help out!)

Floss

Hard_Up_Hester wrote: »

Thanks Knitwitch, they have told DD that £16000 is what they are paying the current home.
Thanks Charlie, they have tried 2 homes and MIL didn't like either.
MIL has limited mobility and dementia, so she does have care needs.

That maybe the top-up to any benefits / entitlement she has. It certainly isn't enough to provide dementia care.

charlie3090

Hard_Up_Hester wrote: »

Thanks Knitwitch, they have told DD that £16000 is what they are paying the current home.
Thanks Charlie, they have tried 2 homes and MIL didn't like either.
MIL has limited mobility and dementia, so she does have care needs.

Please believe me when I say your dd should not consider this,
I tried with my mum for over a year with dementia and she was fully mobile,
it was just awful,they often dont sleep at night,honestly I cannot express how hard it is and she will only get worse,
my mums house has been sold to pay for her care ,its not my money,its hers and at least I have a choice of homes but she is happy where she is ,
I am shocked that they could even ask this of your dd,
again what a blooming cheek they have:mad:

charlie3090

my mums care costs are £600 per week where she is and it is a
good place and she is well taken care of but as I said its her money not mine and if she needs a 2000 per week home then thats what she will get,
how selfish her sons are.